What do you need to draw to calm down. Ways to control your emotions. After a bereavement

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. With regard to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in our thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Do you decline thinking ability and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost strain of mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
Are you exposed bad habits: , alcohol, as you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
IN Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what's ahead of you an important event, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your state on this moment. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting work here. Try not to think a lot about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, and if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and generally contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

First, to fix physiological factor nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.

Chronic nervous tension is a companion of our time. We are constantly nervous and worried about something in our lives: about ourselves and our future, about loved ones, relatives, children, about work, about money and many other, not always important things. A lot of disturbing thoughts run through your head every day, causing constant stress. Many are in nervous tension, not even realizing the real reason for their anxiety. Therefore, in this article we will talk about how to calm down when you are very nervous, how to find harmony and inner peace.

Anxiety and anxiety are natural, and even useful tool, with which our body informs us about external threats. That is why the fight against stress is often not effective. Unfortunately, there is no one universal technique or “not to be nervous” switch. What works great for keeping calm for some people, for others, is completely ineffective. Therefore, try and choose exactly the method that will help you calm down and not be nervous for you.

Exercise "square breathing"

Helps to cope with anxiety and excitement, it is easy to move from a negative to a neutral, calm state. The square breathing technique can be used if you are very nervous before meetings, important negotiations, public speaking, exams. The exercise is very simple, everyone can do it, and does not require special training, it is performed in 4 steps:

take a breath and at the same time count to yourself: “one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four ...” (as it is more comfortable)
Hold your breath for a count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
Now exhale to the count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
now hold your breath again, counting one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...

Scheme of square breathing: inhale (4 sec) - hold the breath (4 sec) - exhale (4 sec) - hold (4 sec) - repeat from the beginning. Moreover, the duration of inhalation-exhalation can be selected individually, it can be 4 seconds, maybe more - 6-8 seconds, or less, the main thing is that it is comfortable to perform the exercise.

Diaphragmatic breathing

When a person is worried, nervous, his breathing becomes rapid and intermittent (a person breathes from the chest). A little explanation: there are several types of breathing. Most people expand the middle part of the sternum when they breathe. This is chest breathing. If breathing is carried out by the upper part of the sternum - high costal breathing. However, more useful and effective for calming and relaxing is diaphragmatic breathing, that is, breathing with the participation of the diaphragm, breathing with the stomach. In order to calm down and get rid of stress, we take a deep breath, absorbing a large volume of air, and then exhale it slowly. This is called very deep breathing. Such for many will be an effective tool for excitement and nervousness. In order to learn to breathe with the diaphragm, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

Lie on your back and place a book on your stomach. It is necessary to breathe so that the book rises from the breath.
Sit in a comfortable position, straighten your posture and lower right hand on the stomach, and the left - put the chest. Breathe in such a way that only the right hand moves.
It is desirable that the inhalation and exhalation be equal in time. For this, it is most convenient to count the beats of your heart. 4-6 strokes inhale - the same exhale.
To enhance the effect, you can repeat the affirmation to yourself: “With every breath I relax, with every exhalation I smile”

"Byaka-zakalyaka"

The technique is simple, but very effective in the fight not only with excitement, but with other negative emotions and experiences. It can be attributed to art therapy, and the implementation takes from 5 to 15 minutes. Instructions:

take a pen or pencil, a sheet of clean paper, or rather several at once, because with strong emotions one may not be enough.
as a rule, excitement is physically felt in a specific part of the body: in the chest, in the abdomen, in the head, in the form of spasms, clamps, or simply indefinite discomfort, i.e. you need to determine the localization of your destructive emotion;
mentally give yourself the setting that all the excitement through your hands goes to paper, leaves your body, and does not return; there are no strict recommendations here, everything is done in an arbitrary form, as you like it better;
you just start to drive a pencil or pen on paper without controlling your movements. If you do everything right, the hand itself will begin to draw all sorts of lines, “bad-hards”, write out all sorts of pretzels; do until you feel relieved, until you get the feeling that enough is enough (if one sheet is hardened, feel free to take the next one);
then you need to get rid of the drawn "masterpiece" by any convenient way: you can tear it into small pieces and flush it down the toilet, you can burn it and scatter the ashes in the wind, crush, trample and send it to the trash can, or come up with your own way - the main thing is to get rid of your “negative creation”.
enjoy the relief, it usually comes fairly quickly.

This technique is quite versatile, with its help you can get rid of excitement, irritation, resentment, worries, any stress. For a longer-term effect, you need to repeat more often.

Contact with water

One of the simplest and available ways calm down, especially if you are very nervous and worried - this is any contact with water. Scientists have long noted that the noise and contemplation of a running woman, running water, the sound of the waves soothes, relieves fatigue, promotes deep relaxation. So, if you need to calm down quickly, you need to:

drink a glass of plain water in small sips - unbelievable, but it helps;
go to the bathroom, turn on the water, hold your hands under running water, for as long as possible;
wash the dishes, the floor, anything else;

When there is a little more time:

take a shower, the most effective contrast;
take a bath with hydromassage, if possible;
go to the pool, to the lake, swim (double effect: the calming effect of water + physical activity);
go out into nature, sit by the stream, by the river, look at the water.
walk in the rain without an umbrella; not suitable for everyone, because there is a danger of catching a cold, but the effect is amazing. Whoever accidentally gets wet in the rain knows that then you come home, and your heart is joyful, it is not clear why, problems fade into the background, just like in childhood, when you got into a puddle up to your ankles, and you are satisfied ...

During physical activity, certain chemicals are released in the body, which explains the usefulness of physical activity for the mental state of a person. These chemicals include endorphins. Their action is similar to the action of opiates - they dull pain and cause a state of calm and peace. Another substance - dopamine is an antidepressant, also produced by the body during physical activity. Improving the psychological state thanks to physical activity based on a physiological basis, and this is a scientific fact.

The positive effect persists for several hours after the “physical exercise”, or rather after the “after physical exercise”. The most accessible types of physical activity:

general cleaning of the apartment;
hand washing, washing floors, windows;
dancing;
yoga practice;
walking, running, cycling.

Meditation

Meditation techniques are the most popular and easy to master. They are sufficiently studied, in terms of relaxation and positive influence on physical and psychological health.

Many people think that meditation takes a long time and don't even try it. effective method. Here are some of the shortest and most effective meditations that will help you quickly calm down and not be nervous.

Exercise: track your own thoughts

Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you, close your eyes. For 5 to 10 minutes, just observe the thoughts that come to your mind. At the same time, the main thing is not to do anything, not to strain (even mentally) - you just need to observe. Allow your thoughts to simply come and go, without any evaluation of what is happening. Most likely, there will be complete confusion and chaos in your head, a heap of sensations, memories, situations, assessments, your own and other people's statements. This is fine.

Already after the first minutes of this exercise, you will notice that thoughts slow down, you become more calm. For a certain moment you abstract from everything, you become just an observer. After a while, you will begin to notice that there are small pauses between thoughts. During these periods of thoughtlessness, you can experience real peace and tranquility.

Calm Reflex Technique

This technique was proposed by psychologist Charles Strebel. The author claims that this technique allows you to relax very quickly, with systematic training in 6 seconds. So, the technique itself:

Focus on what's bothering you.
Smile to yourself. This will help relieve tension from the muscles of the face.
Say to yourself: “My body is relaxed and my mind is actively awake.”
Breathe in easily and calmly.
As you exhale, relax and lower your lower jaw - when performed correctly, the upper and lower teeth should not touch
Imagine how heaviness and warmth spread through your body from the top of your head to your heels.

Method "Instant calm"

Continuous breathing. Despite the appearance of excitement, continue to breathe calmly, evenly and deeply.
Positive facial expression. As soon as you feel that you are starting to get nervous, smile slightly.
Appearance. Imagine that you are being lifted by a string - straighten your chest, stretch your neck, lift your chin.
Send a wave of relaxation to tense parts of the body.
Soberly assess the situation, tell yourself: “Everything that is happening now is real, and I will find the best solution”

Meditative Breathing: Basic Exercise

The technique of pure observation of one's breathing is simple and effective at the same time, does not require special skills, the state of relaxation and calm comes quickly, in a few minutes. Close your eyes, get comfortable, and just watch your breath. You should not strain, try to influence the rhythm or depth of breathing - just watch. Concentrate on how the air enters the lungs through the nostrils - then exits back. Inhale - exhale. This is the simplest technique applicable in almost any situation. After a while, you will be able to notice how your breathing becomes slower and calmer. The more consciously and attentively you observe your breathing, the faster you will feel calm.

Anxiety and worry interfere with normal daily life and well-being. People who experience feelings of anxiety are often agitated and scared. There are many ways to stop being nervous and feel better right now. Various self-help methods and a new way of life will help you reduce the likelihood of anxiety in the future. If anxiety haunts you every day, then seek help from a psychotherapist.

Steps

Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety

Breathe deeply. Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to quickly reduce anxiety. You can breathe deeply anywhere, and the result is noticeable in a few minutes.

Find a quiet place and sit or lie down in a comfortable position to breathe deeply.
Place your palms on your stomach just below your chest.
Take a deep, slow breath as you count to five. Concentrate on breathing air into the abdomen, not into the chest.
Hold your breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly.
Slowly inhale and exhale with the participation of the abdomen for 5-10 minutes.
Evaluate the result of the exercise. For some people, focusing on the breath often leads to oversaturation of the lungs with oxygen, resulting in increased anxiety.

Use progressive muscle relaxation. progressive muscle relaxation- Another one fast way reduce anxiety levels. The essence of the exercise is as follows: you need to alternately strain and relax the muscles of the body from the tips of the toes to the crown of the head.
- First you need to lie down in a comfortable place.
- Next, close your eyes and bend your fingers to tighten the muscles in your toes.
- Then relax your fingers and tighten your feet.
- After that, relax the muscles of the foot and move on to the calf muscles.
- Continue to alternately tense and relax the muscles of the whole body until you reach the forehead.
- Do not try to express feelings through SMS or messages in in social networks. The best option- meet in person or talk on the phone. Also, a video call (for example, via Skype) is a good way out if you do not have the opportunity to see each other otherwise.
Maintain physical activity. Any physical activity has a calming effect. Exercising can be an effective way to deal with anxiety, so you can also get some exercise. Choose any exercise and give them at least 30 minutes every day.

Visualize peaceful scenes. If you imagine a calm place, then you can quickly pull yourself together. Imagine your favorite corner in detail, including appearance sounds, smells and even sensations. Stay in this place for as long as necessary.
- For example, you can imagine that you are in a meadow in summer. Beautiful blossoms all around you wildflowers, grass and plants exude a sweet aroma, the air is filled with the rustle of stems, and the warm rays of the sun gently caress your skin.
Get distracted. Distract yourself to another activity to ease your anxiety. Force yourself to do something else that will take your attention in case of anxiety. After 10-15 minutes, the alarm will begin to recede.
- For example, start reading a book, take a relaxing bubble bath, play with your cat, or clean up your desk.
Use soothing essential oils. Lavender has long been known to help reduce anxiety in times of stress (such as before an exam). Carry a lavender lotion or bottle of essential oil with you to inhale the scent of lavender when needed.

Listen to relaxing music. Calm music also helps to reduce overall levels of anxiety. Music therapy is also effective for patients who are waiting for surgery.
- Turn on relaxing music like jazz and classical or your favorite songs.
Relaxing self-help techniques
1. Ask yourself questions that challenge your feelings of anxiety. Try to come up with a list of objective questions that will help you challenge your concerns. Trying to find a rational explanation for anxiety will help to weaken its hold on you. Ask yourself these questions:
  - What evidence supports cause for concern?
  - What facts show that the situation is better than it seems at first glance?
  - What is the probability of the worst case scenario?
  - What is the most likely outcome?
  - What advice would I give to a friend if he were in my shoes?
2. Set aside certain times for worrying. Everyone worries from time to time, so you can set aside a little time each day for worrying. This will help you limit your anxiety and not suffer from it all day long.
  - Set aside 15-30 minutes a day for worry and anxiety. It is best to use the same time and place every day.
  - If the alarm occurs at another time, write down the reasons. Remind yourself that you will have some time to worry about this later.
  - Reflect on your anxiety at such times. It may well be that by this time some of the causes for alarm may have disappeared or become less significant.
3. Write down your feelings. Recognize your feelings and write them down in a notebook to reduce anxiety. If you're worried, just write down how you feel. You can start a diary and write down all your anxious thoughts in it. There are different ways to organize thoughts in a diary. So, you can divide the page into three columns.
  - In the first column, give answers to the questions: What is happening? What is the essence of the situation? You also need to indicate where you are, what you are doing, who is next to you at a particular moment, and other details.
  - In the second column, let's answer the question "What am I thinking about?". Here, list the thoughts and worrisome experiences that come to your mind.
  - In the third column, answer the question “How excited am I?”. So, you can rate the level of anxiety on a scale from 1 (not worried at all) to 10 (extremely worried).
4. Remind yourself that these feelings are temporary. Sometimes, in moments of anxiety, it may seem that you will never feel better. Feelings like this are frightening, so remind yourself that anxiety is a temporary feeling.
  - Say to yourself, “This won’t be long,” or, “It will all be over soon.”
5. Direct your thoughts into the present moment. Focusing on the past or the future can be anxiety-provoking, so learn to think about the present to keep your anxiety at bay. By focusing on the present, it will be easier for you to solve current problems and current tasks.
Specialist help and treatment
1. Cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy seeks to change your thoughts and behavior in order to reduce anxiety. In cognitive therapy sessions, an experienced therapist will teach you to recognize, question, and replace the negative thoughts that cause and increase feelings of anxiety.
  - For example, you may find yourself thinking “I will fail” often, causing you to feel anxious and restless. Through cognitive behavioral therapy, you will learn to recognize such thoughts and question them or replace them with positive ideas like “I will do my best.”
  - Cognitive therapy sessions can only be conducted by a qualified psychotherapist. You should consider cognitive therapy as one of your treatment options.
2. exposure therapy. This treatment option allows you to face the fears that contribute to anxiety. The intensity or duration of exposure gradually increases, resulting in a decrease in the level of anxiety along with a feeling of fear.
3. Medicines. Several methods are used to treat anxiety. different types medications if the person has difficulty controlling their anxiety levels in other ways. You should know that only a psychiatrist (a doctor who specializes in mental illness) can prescribe medications. The following options are possible:
  - Benzodiazepines. These are the most common sedatives. They quickly reduce anxiety levels, but can be addictive. It is best to use such remedies only in extreme cases. Examples include Alprazolam, Diazepam, Clonazepam and Lorazepam.
  - Antidepressants. Some antidepressants help reduce anxiety, but they take four to six weeks to start working. For the treatment of anxiety, Zoloft, Paxil (Paroxetine), Prozac (Fluoxetine), Escitalopram, and Citalopram are most commonly used.
  - Buspirone. This medicine is a mild sedative that starts working after about two weeks. It differs from benzodiazepines only in a milder effect and fewer side effects. Buspirone is also less likely to cause addiction.
  - Beta blockers. Some high blood pressure medications, known as beta-blockers, also help manage the physical symptoms of anxiety. They are thought to be used off-label since beta-blockers are mainly prescribed for heart problems and high blood pressure. Examples include "Atenolol" and "Propranolol".

Every day a person is exposed to dozens of stressful situations: problems at work, troubles in personal life. Before an upcoming meeting or performance, dealing with nerves is even more difficult. A person sweats, his breath is confused, his speech is confused.

Every modern man must know the methods of quick relief

Calming the nerves is the primary task of the speaker. Simple techniques and introspection will allow a person to quickly calm down.

The nature of nervousness

The nervous system regulates the processes in the body. However, her strength is not enough to endure constant stress. Although at its core, nervousness is a normal reaction of the body to a potential threat or irritant - a situation that starts a chain reaction consisting of defense mechanisms.

An inadequate reaction or a distorted perception of reality leads to increased excitability. In this state, a person is not able to control the situation. Sensitive people with a fine mental organization, who give up their hands from the influx of difficulties, should firmly know how to calm their nerves.

Causes of Nervousness

There is no increased anxiety and stress without a reason - the reaction of the body depends on the human psyche. There are three main types of external causes for which a neurosis occurs:

Physiological. Diseases of the internal organs contribute to spontaneous seizures panic attacks. Violation of the thyroid gland, digestive organs and endocrine system leads to nervousness. For the female body, the cause of increased nervous excitability is the menstrual cycle.
Psychological. Psychological reasons nervousness is associated with a constant load of the psyche: stress, overwork and chronic lack of sleep - common causes nervous tension.
Reaction to a stimulus. External stimulus any phenomenon serves: sounds, smells, heavy life situation. The reason for neurosis is an atypical perception of what is happening, which does not cause discomfort to others.

The response to a stimulus is difficult to predict in advance. The opinion that you can calm yourself down through self-restraint and self-control is wrong. From the nerves, drug and physiological therapy is prescribed.

Determining the root cause of neurosis allows you to get a complete picture of what is happening: during the examination, internal pathologies or psychological traumas that could cause an inadequate reaction are determined.

Self-doubt, as a source of nerves, is overcome by psychoanalysis and behavior correction.

Defense mechanism or hindrance

Why do neuroses need to be treated? Phenomena such as increased excitability and aggression destroy a person's social ties. Relationships at work, in the family and circle of friends suffer from constant nerves. Attacks that cause hysteria are regarded as a dangerous psychosomatic symptom. After depression or stress, new problems enter a person’s life - mental disorders.

Both adults and children should be treated for nerves at home or with the help of specialists. The age of the patient is simply a factor, but not a determining factor. Especially important timely help during the period of personality formation, because increased nervousness entails changes in character.

Defense mechanisms are of an unconscious nature: increased nervousness occurs before realizing what is happening. A presentiment of failure is tantamount to failure itself - a person feels the situation distorted. At the subconscious level, trouble has already happened. To protect the psyche, the body produces a number of symptoms that signal danger. This is how defense mechanisms work. They are not dangerous if their root cause is justified - the person is at risk. Subjective causes, enhanced by stress and fatigue, trigger an enhanced defensive reaction.

Fatigue can increase nervousness

Symptoms of increased nervousness

Understanding how the defense mechanism works is not difficult: people tend to get excited before significant events and important events. A little shivering is a normal reaction. Nervousness is manifested by increased sweating, trembling in the arms and legs, and rapid heartbeat. Recognizing an anxious person is not difficult: it is difficult for him to concentrate and collect himself. Expressive personalities at such a moment begin to freak out, because they cannot cope with emotions.

Neurosis has the following symptoms:

a decrease in the mental abilities of a person - a person is incapable of rational thinking;
deterioration of physiological reactions: facial expressions, coordination of movement are disturbed;
an increase in the level of fatigue - it does not get better at home; sleep is disturbed: heavy dreams and nightmares are seen that do not allow to sleep;
an increase in anxiety: it does not go away before going to bed, and the next morning a person wakes up excited and tired;
violation of the regime of the day and nutrition.

An anxious person transfers negative experiences to monotonous habits.

Cigarettes, alcohol, self-harm (self-harm) - all this is done to distract: the person focuses on one action. And the chosen occupation completely distracts from disturbing thoughts.

This really calms the nervous system, but only partially - alcohol and medications, interacting, increase the excitability of the central nervous system.

Ways to deal with anxiety

To calm the nerves at home, use safe folk recipes and proven methods. Tempering the body, exercises to strengthen the body and soothing teas will get rid of constant anxiety. How to stop being nervous for any reason: methods for treating adults and children:

Dousing with cold water. Gradual hardening will calm the nerves at home without taking sedatives. A healthy body is characterized by increased resistance to stress and endurance.
The use of a decoction of soothing herbs. Effective method, which allows you to quickly stop being nervous, includes taking tea or tincture. An infusion of birch leaves lowers the excitability of the nervous system: one hundred grams of crushed leaves are infused in two cups of boiling water for at least 6 hours, and then filtered. The infusion helps to quickly stop being nervous when taken regularly three times a day before meals.
You can quickly calm your nerves using modern psychological methods(according to the prescription of a psychologist).

To calm shattered nerves will not work if you replace one irritant with another. Smoking, games, watching TV create the appearance of calm, because they simply suppress negative emotions without getting rid of them.

It is difficult for people with drug addiction to calm down on their own at home: addiction weakens the nervous system. How can you still calm your nerves? Use multiple methods at once home treatment and prevention.

Birch leaves - natural sedative

Psychological techniques

The exercises you can use to calm yourself down are listed below. The main base is a change in the usual regimen, a change in physical activity and rest.

How to calm nerves at home:

Relax the body. Exercises for the muscles of the face and lower back are well soothed: the forehead, eyes, and back relax. Loud sounds are made to improve blood supply. The more muscles around the mouth are involved, the easier it is to help yourself.
Breath control helps a lot: the gymnast straightens the chest from the exercises. Proper abdominal breathing helps to cope with anger.
Visualization. Emotional memory is the strongest defense against stress and neurosis. A person imagines future events, thinking them through the smallest details and stop worrying. Visualization is easy: you can create images at work, on public transport or at home. You need to use all your imagination to recreate a realistic picture.
Emotional transfer helps to calm down before a performance or meeting: there is a binding positive emotions to what used to cause panic.

Self-control and self-regulation form the basis of effective psychological methods for calming the nerves: autogenic training and autosuggestion. The basis of autogenic training is muscle relaxation combined with self-hypnosis. The technique comes from hypnotherapy and is a means of self-education of the individual. Autosuggestion helps weak personalities.

With prolonged stress, a balance exercise helps, which prevents the destruction of the nervous system.

How to stop being nervous in children and teenagers? It is necessary to inspire yourself with a certain model of behavior: during the exercise, a person dictates to himself a set of qualities that need to be cultivated in himself; those reactions with which his inner world is combined.

An experienced psychologist will tell you how to calm your nerves - he will select the type of autosuggestion. At home, you can simply tune in the right way and try not to succumb to temporary fear.

Analysis of fears

The psyche is analyzed to eliminate seizures in the future: stress is the result, not the cause, of disturbances in the central nervous system. Dialogue with oneself will help relieve tension before and after a meeting or speech: a person’s communication with himself and his subconscious allows you to manage life. And it also relieves from lingering traumas, experienced unpleasant experiences. To relieve stress and nervousness will also help:

psychoanalysis by a psychologist. after such a session, calming down is easy and simple;
art therapy (expression of repressed emotions through drawing or clay modeling). This method reveals the real problem expressed by nervousness over trifles;
a diary that will provide an opportunity to understand the essence of the problem.

A person must watch himself: know what makes him calm, and vice versa, unbalances him; be able to calm down quickly and without medication - choose an individual method that will help relieve stress; identify the stimulus.

Fears are repressed negative emotions. When a person is not in harmony with himself, stress increases. It is necessary to get rid of phobias and nervousness. With strong excitement, the calming of one's nerves has the symptoms of a neurosis. But this should stop a person on the path of fighting for his peace.

Keeping a diary will help you get to the root of the problem.

Relaxation day

To get out of tension means to understand the nature of excitement. Persistent problems, exhausting work and a disturbed daily routine entail serious consequences for the psyche: a person gets tired quickly, neither pills nor exercises calm him down. IN feeling unwell the wrong balance of work and rest is to blame.

It is not enough to think about the good. To calm down, you need to create special conditions: plan a vacation, put off the accumulated business and devote a whole day to relaxation. Relaxing baths soothe the body essential oils, walks in nature, a trip out of town and new hobbies. A simple rest can relieve stress and charge a person with vital energy.

You can make any day of the week a day of relaxation. No need to be attached to the date or schedule of others. A long-planned tour of interesting places cities, receiving guests, walking along the seashore.

The main thing is not to think at this time about global problems. An activity for the soul will relax the nervous system: going to the cinema or theater. You cannot force yourself to be calm if circumstances force you to defend yourself - all day you should listen to calm music and communicate with good people. The tension will go away when a person allows himself to think about pleasant things.

Walking in nature is great for stress relief.

Calming techniques for pregnant women

Hormonal changes during pregnancy cause increased stress, after childbirth everything returns to normal. A woman in position needs to adopt several exercises to calm her down, because drug treatment harms the fetus.

How to calm down and not be nervous for a pregnant woman: take daily walks on fresh air, more rest from routine affairs, perform light physical exercise. Staying locked up at home is the worst thing a mother-to-be can do. Calming exercises do not interfere with the development of the child: swimming, slow running and breathing exercises are useful for a pregnant woman. Sports and healthy lifestyle life soothe the nervous system.

Medical treatment

It is necessary to start treatment gradually so as not to injure the psyche. A course of sedative tablets is prescribed by a specialist. Self-medication will harm the individual: the individual will not be able to live in society due to aggressive, unstable behavior.

If tension is accompanied by a depressive state, a course of anti-depressants is prescribed. The role of sedatives is to reduce the level of anxiety.

Other medications may be needed to relieve additional symptoms. "Fluoxetine" allows you to cope with difficult thoughts. Drinking sleeping pills is recommended for patients with sleep disorders. Between doses of drugs should take a break. What allows you to quickly calm the nerves of people who have experienced prolonged stress? Take a course of tranquilizers. He is prescribed by a doctor. not excluded side effects from taking sedatives: drowsiness and lethargy that interfere with work and lead an active life.

"Fluoxetine" - a sedative drug

How to stop being nervous outside the home

How to stop being nervous over trifles? A question asked by sensitive people and individuals who deal with emotional stimuli on a daily basis. Tension is caused by memories of past mistakes - bad relationships with superiors, negative experiences will cause nervousness in the workplace. A person will again experience anxiety at school if the last exam ended in failure. Helps to cope with anxious thoughts:

simple breathing exercises (just before an important meeting or exam);
affirmations - daily work on negative thoughts;
focusing on the main goal is an easy way to distract from external negativity;
complex warm-up of the body - physical exercises that will dispel bad thoughts and relieve fears.

In order to calm down on your own, it is better to use A complex approach: Stress resistance increases due to daily work on your own thoughts and body. Without eliminating the root cause of neurosis, the only way out of the situation is to reduce tension.

Emergency measures and sedatives are not the main treatment and are not able to prevent panic attacks and jitters in the future. Better get busy mental health before the onset of serious disorders.

Warm-up will drive away fears and reduce anxiety

Breathing exercises

The root of the problem is awareness of the upcoming event. A person is afraid of the unknown, spontaneity and an unknown outcome. The speaker (or organizer) begins to worry a few days before the meeting: the speed of the reaction depends on the individual characteristics of the psyche. On the eve of the speech, the speaker can drink alcohol or sedatives, thereby aggravating his condition - to slow down the reaction.

Breathing exercises will help you better understand how to calm the nerves without sedative medications or addictions, because breathing itself is a natural process in the human body. If it is interrupted - the person is afraid of something, it becomes more frequent - the individual experiences stress, slows down - the person has a problem with the heart.

How to calm down and stop being nervous:

1. Setting the rhythm of breathing. Adjusts to the internal processes in the body - each inhalation-exhalation corresponds to the pulse rate. The pulse is measured at the neck or wrist.
2. One breath is taken for every 4 beats of the pulse. Slowing down the breath will lead to weakening internal stress. Do the exercise should be no more than 10 minutes.
3. Breathing alternates with air retention. For every second beat, a person holds his breath, after, for the 4th beat, he exhales and returns to the previous rhythm.
4. The interval between breaths increases, and the breath holding lasts from 2 to 4 seconds. It is important in what position a person performs the exercise: a comfortable sitting and standing position. Lying exercises are not recommended.

In order not to worry, the rhythm is maintained for 10-20 minutes. After 2-3 minutes, the body adjusts to breathing and nervousness automatically decreases. During the exercise, a person is completely concentrated on the task - it is impossible to be distracted by conversations or other things.

The advice of psychologists relates to abdominal and shallow breathing: after holding the air, you should not take a deep breath. Jerks in breathing exercises will exacerbate the symptoms of nervousness.

Acupuncture for nerves

A quick way to reduce the activity of the central nervous system is acupuncture. An ancient method that allows you not to worry about future events is based on the location of important points on the human body. You can do massage at home.

Energy nodes are responsible for the main systems. The effect on the central nervous system will help to calm down properly. Acupuncture does not lead to lethargy and confusion - composure before the meeting will not suffer. The main calming points are:

in the center at the bottom of the chin;
between the fingers (on the back of the hand);
at the base of the index finger.

To calm down, you need to press on the indicated points for 2-3 minutes. Moderate pressure without excessive pressure will reduce the level of anxiety. For a man, more physical effort is needed: working with points takes from 3 to 5 minutes.

After acupuncture, you need to stretch your hands and conduct a light massage. The palms are gently massaged in a clockwise direction. During the exercise, you can turn on soothing music.

Acupuncture can help you gain strength

Nervousness before a performance

Psychologist's advice on how to quickly relax relate to the morale. If a person does not cope with disturbing thoughts, it will be difficult to calm the body. Bustle - favorable environment for the development of neurosis.

The more organized the meeting and preparation for the event, the easier the emotional reaction will be.

If a person is frightened by the unknown, he needs to schedule a meeting in stages: the drawn up plan will help to avoid unpleasant surprises.

Peace of mind in a meeting

After breathing exercises you can do a light warm-up - you shouldn’t strain and exhaust the body a lot. Learn simple exercises you can at home: you need to knead the neck, hands, forearms and feet. Clamped hands and feet give the appearance dangerous situation, a person is literally trying to take up less space in environment. For the same reason, you need to keep your back straight.

During the meeting, you need to control body language:

Outward calm is expressed by relaxed hands: soft and flexible fingers hide nervousness. External self-confidence helps to relax. The body receives a signal to calm down and the level of anxiety decreases.
Cyclic affirmations help to relax. For any reason and at any meeting, in order not to be nervous, a person repeats a consonant phrase to himself. It could be a slogan, an inspirational quote, or a self-address. The more often a person repeats an affirmation, the stronger it becomes.
Control of facial expressions and gestures. A relaxed look and lack of nervousness is expressed in the way a person sits, conducts a dialogue. Hidden anxieties are expressed in body language. It is impossible to hide your worries without working on facial expressions and gestures. You can practice facial expressions at home in front of a mirror. The feedback principle works flawlessly - external confidence smoothly turns into inner peace.

Psychologist's advice finds its expression in two simple rules: no rush and no irritants. Before the meeting and directly during the acquaintance with new partners, exclude factors that can cause neurosis. The markers are removed from the speaker's field of view.

Panic for any reason around an anxious person will harm the performance - it is necessary to create the most comfortable and relaxed atmosphere. The rule of an experienced psychologist “watch yourself” will allow you to concentrate on important issues.

How to calm down after a meeting

Working people are worried about how to calm their nerves without drugs after a difficult meeting. Nerves, as a result of emotional stress, are not easy to get rid of: jitters and panic attacks continue. To calm your nerves and relieve stress, you need to switch to an easier task, for example, go to the gym. Exhausting workouts or yoga classes will help calm the nerves. Spiritual practices will lead to enlightenment and getting rid of heavy thoughts.

A tea break helps to get rid of nerves when performing a complex financial transaction. A person needs to drink any warm drink, thinking about a future vacation or a recently watched movie - distraction will ease the pressure on the psyche. If an employee becomes angry, leave the office or workplace. A change of scenery will quickly free your head from work problems.

After work, the accumulated stress should be removed

situations from life

How can you calm your nerves at home? Preparing for stress is its absence in reality. stressful situation. So, before the flight, it is recommended to review the travel plan again and do not think about it until the moment of passport control. Relaxing music will help you master yourself during takeoff.

From nerves at work in a large team, group games help. The psychologist's advice on this matter is simple: play Crocodile, or a road game.

Collective creative activity lowers stress levels. And field trips - The best way to strengthen relationships between colleagues.

Strengthening the nervous system

Psychology singles out the question "How to stop being nervous and start living" as important aspect mental health of the individual. Self-education techniques allow you to calm the nervous system. To stop succumbing to fear and aggression is the goal of a successful person.

How to safely calm your nerves at home? First of all, a person must pull himself together - the truth, whatever it may be, cannot change his goals. To stop being nervous is the same as to stop doubting yourself. Preventive actions will help to temper and calm the nervous system: they will eliminate the physical factor of anxiety. This can be done after deep psychoanalysis.

Bad habits do not help calm the central nervous system, but make a person even more nervous, so you need to get rid of them. A person should say to himself: "I can cleanse my life, I can change it." With a calm, measured step, a person moves away from haste and moves to a new level of development: to a world in which there is no need to be nervous. And forever opens up endless possibilities.