Most people underestimate their capabilities. Such people do not achieve the results they could achieve if they were confident in their abilities. What is low self-esteem, is it possible to fix it?
Psychologists say that if desired, everyone can get rid of doubts in a matter of months and love themselves the way nature created them. You just need to try to understand your desires and aspirations.
Low self-esteem is an extremely serious psychological problem that deprives us of happiness, luck, beauty, money, success, and love. You will never become talented until you believe in your talent, you will not become beautiful without believing in your beauty, you will not become rich without believing in the possibility of becoming one.
Contents of the article:
- it all starts from childhood
- three views on the problem
- principles and rules of conduct
Self-esteem is our perception of ourselves . This is how we evaluate our personality in various aspects of life: political, professional, social, emotional, personal, intimate. Deep inside us live beliefs about who we are: beautiful or ugly, smart or stupid, lucky or unlucky, talented or untalented, capable or mediocre. These beliefs are called self-esteem.
You can be intelligent, well-mannered, well-educated, smart, handsome, and at the same time work all your life in a position that does not require all these qualities. This suggests that your self-esteem is low. You don't know your true worth. You don’t believe that you deserve much more.
But our opinion, our belief is just a collection of some information. You can work with it, displace unnecessary things and replace them with positive ones. If they see potential in us, and we begin to doubt our capabilities, this fact indicates that underestimation is occurring.
We need to fight this, and the sooner we start, the better. We all look for flaws that others don't see in us. We're painting ourselves into a corner. We are engaged in self-criticism. We torment, we destroy. Lack of self-confidence and dislike are a dead end.
It all starts from childhood.
We all come from childhood. The period of childhood is the most important stage in the formation of personality. Neuroses, psychological problems, phobias and complexes originate from childhood. Parents are the whole world for a child. His communication with surrounding people, concepts, objects occurs through the prism of his parents’ views. He is isolated from most of his life experience, receiving it through a kind of microworld model - parents, close people.
When an adult believes that the world is not fair, the roots go back to childhood; by turning to his early childhood experience, you can find the reason. Perhaps his parents were not fair to him. By adopting the negative experience of our parents' behavior, we grow up unhappy, do not value ourselves, do not try to achieve more, and are content with only little. By adopting the positive habits and views of our parents, we make our lives happy and successful. And all because the parent’s life scenario of behavior is for life.
Most of us remember from childhood how:
- your parents compared you with other children: “Look, this boy is so clean, and you’re dirty...”
- devalued your work: “You did it poorly, you didn’t try...”
- always looked after you in everything: “Don’t go there, it’s slippery there...”
- were not at all interested in your life, giving you complete freedom of action.
From childhood, parents raise their children in a way that is beneficial to them: don’t interfere, don’t touch, don’t try, you won’t succeed. This will motivate some children to prove their capabilities, but most will comply and become passive and insecure. This is how complexes and blocks develop that they carry throughout their lives.
There are no happy people with an unhappy childhood. Then you can fight your beliefs all your life, achieve success, constantly try to contrast yourself with others, prove: “I can do everything, I will succeed.” But as soon as you hear criticism addressed to you or feel the first failure, it will unsettle you and return you to your previous childhood positions: “I am nothing!” And you will need to start this whole fight against complexes all over again. But you just have to work through your fears, and you can live a happy life full of joyful moments.
Low self-esteem can lead to a complex of impossibility of meeting the opposite sex, meeting with friends, the desire to achieve career growth, a salary increase, and various doubts and fears. Instead, you try to establish yourself through humiliation, insults, and insults to other people. This has become especially noticeable recently in social networks. Each of us has met such “speakers”. Or the other extreme is possible: a willingness to defend the needs of other people, but the inability to take care of one’s own interests.
The most difficult faith is faith in yourself. Parents are simply obliged to form positive attitude child to his personality from childhood, telling him: “You are the best. We love you no matter what." It is reasonable to support him in all his endeavors and to protect him from anything that devalues his attitude towards his own personality. Only in this case will a self-confident person grow up who will adequately relate to the world around him.
Three views on the problem of low self-esteem.
Some people think it is impossible to get rid of it. This is a completely erroneous point of view. An example is the many politicians, scientists and actors who gained confidence simply by believing in their importance to people.
Others believe that if their self-esteem increases, they will turn into arrogant, ill-mannered types. They will only bring trouble and disappointment to others. But self-confident people suffer from this. And confidence is fundamentally different from self-confidence. A person who is confident in himself will always be pleasant, polite, and calm.
Still others believe that increasing self-esteem is a long, boring process that requires a lot of work on oneself. But they are not ready for this. But if desired, this can be turned into exciting process, achieve results quickly and easily.
How quickly we achieve success depends on our views of ourselves, our thoughts about ourselves. The higher the score becomes, the less we succumb to criticism and failures, and our attitude towards them changes. For us they become an experience, an intermediate link on the path. We can take on more complex matters, projects that we can handle. The results we expect will appear. We will not be influenced by the views of other people, their evil jokes, ridicule, aggression. We will be confident in ourselves in all areas of life. Let us value ourselves in the professional and everyday spheres.
Life principles and methods of increasing self-esteem.
To believe in yourself and begin to appreciate and respect your own personality, you need to adhere to the following: life principles and rules of conduct.
Don't compare.
Start by stopping comparing yourself to other people. Every person is unique. And there is no other person like you in the Universe. Comparing your weaknesses and weaknesses with another person's strengths, we become upset. Everyone is guilty of this. This happens because we see and know our shortcomings, while others carefully hide them and will never tell us about them. That is why it seems to us that we are worse.
Develop your body.
According to psychologists, as soon as we begin to engage in any exercise, we immediately begin to feel more beautiful, more successful, luckier. Whether it’s yoga or fitness, running or swimming, from the very first lesson we will feel elation and confidence in our strength. Let's feel the visible result. Although, in fact, he will not be visible for a long time. But over time it will appear, and not only we, but also everyone around us will notice it. What these activities give us from a psychological point of view is much more important than what they give to our physical health. Therefore, you should go to the gym, first of all, not in order to acquire beautiful hair, but to increase your self-esteem and increase confidence. At the same time, changes occur in the entire hormonal system, blood circulates better, and increased production of serotonin, the hormone of happiness, occurs. The world shines with different colors.
Practice self-hypnosis.
It's not as simple as it seems. Tell yourself that you are the most (or most) beautiful, smart, loved. Believe it. Look at your reflection in the mirror more often. Try not to pay attention to the shortcomings. Notice what you like. Switch your attention from shortcomings to advantages. Do not limit yourself in compliments and praise, look in the mirror directly and openly. If you do this every day for a few minutes, you will see results.
Take failures more easily.
Remember that failures are the ingredients of success, and successful people Those who are ordinary people are always more likely to make mistakes. Great results are not achieved without making mistakes. Never reproach yourself for. Forget about your failures and focus on your successes.
Change your attitude towards criticism.
For those who criticize, it doesn't matter whether you are a good person or a bad person. There will always be people who will be dissatisfied with something and will find a reason for criticism. Usually we are criticized for not doing something. And often we have to be attacked for what we did, took some action, got ahead, leaving everyone else far behind. Criticism is not always an indicator that you are doing something wrong. Sometimes they criticize out of envy of your successes and achievements. Therefore, try to avoid relationships with people who criticize you in order to maintain your emotional state.
Do what you love.
Doing something you love will very quickly raise your self-esteem. If you know how to do something better than others, and even do it with love, it works great for you. Confidence appears, you grow in your own eyes and deserve the approval of others.
Praise and encourage yourself.
The most reliable and easiest way to increase self-esteem is to start praising yourself, noticing own successes, celebrate your victories. Buy yourself various gifts, take care of your health, pamper and delight. Keep a diary of your successes, be sure to write them down. Collect victories and be sure to receive rewards for them from yourself.
Never criticize yourself or belittle your merits in public.
In fact, people are obsessed with their loved ones and they don’t care about you. They either don't notice your shortcomings or don't care. This will happen until you start talking about it yourself.
Review your social circle.
Try to communicate with people who are open, friendly, have their own point of view and are confident - they will make your life brighter, optimism and success are contagious. Your environment should be charged with positivity. Make it a rule to stay away from people who are cynical, love to intrigue and gossip, and aggressive. You should not fight them, as this will not bring you closer to your goal, and your nerves and time will be lost.
Accept compliments with dignity.
People often do not know how to accept compliments with dignity. They are embarrassed, mutter something, make excuses, deny their importance. You shouldn't do this. If they give you a compliment, then you deserve it. Perhaps they are flattering you - trying to please you, to earn your favor. This shows that your opinion matters to this person. . Try to use only positive judgments. If you are dissatisfied with yourself, it takes your vital energy and there is absolutely no time or energy left to create, create, achieve anything.
Work with affirmations - positive beliefs. Eliminate everything negative from yourself and introduce positive things. It really brings results.
Affirmation (from Latin affirmatio - confirmation) is a short phrase containing a verbal formula, which, when repeated many times, consolidates the required image or attitude in a person’s subconscious, helping to improve his psycho-emotional background and stimulating positive changes in life.
This kind of work requires overcoming oneself and believing in success. A person with low self-esteem has a deep doubt that nothing will work out. And if you tell yourself that everything is useless, then everything will really be useless. Depressed people never succeed; they intuitively reject all changes. Be positive. Change your perception of the world and yourself in it. By working with your subconscious, you gradually get rid of the stigma of being a loser and cleanse your consciousness of negative beliefs.
Don't say that you can't do something, but say that you can handle it.
Believe in yourself. That's half the battle. Faith will give you strength and help you overcome all difficulties. Remember the sayings: “The eyes are afraid, but the hands do” and “The devil is not as scary as he is painted.” Take responsibility. Don't be afraid. Go for it. Get started without delay. Once your actions begin to produce results, your self-esteem will rise. And this will not go unnoticed by others.
Don't try to make excuses or try to live up to other people's expectations.
Making excuses is unworthy of a person. Learn to explain your actions. Talk about why you made this decision and acted this way. Always try to correct mistakes, instead of regretting, begging for forgiveness. Never, under any circumstances, try to live up to the expectations of others. Do as your conscience and common sense dictate. By doing this, save yourself as an individual. Always follow your own path - people value interesting, extraordinary individuals with unconventional opinions. You will always be interesting to others, your self-esteem will increase. . Set realistic goals for yourself. These are goals that you can bring to life. When setting exaggerated demands and goals, you will have to constantly push the individual into a certain framework and give up a lot. You will always feel pressure, which will not add respect or raise self-esteem. Stop for a while on the way, this will give you the opportunity to rest, gain new strength and open up new ways to solve problems.
Be public.
Try to be visible as much as possible. This is called publicity. Register on social networks and maintain active correspondence with friends and just strangers, shoot and post videos about yourself, your hobbies, achievements, successes on the Internet, publish your photos. Practice public speaking. This is a great way to express yourself and increase self-esteem. Try to encourage others to evaluate. Let them discuss you, talk about you, evaluate you. Meet people and your fear halfway.
Don’t use anything that destroys your personality.
Smoking, alcohol, drugs - these are things that make a person lose control of himself. And when we lose control over our behavior, we lose respect for ourselves, and our self-esteem drops sharply. Even coffee and tea can plunge us into depression and raise doubts about our success and achievement of results. . Try to earn good money. Money gives freedom, independence, respect. An excellent tool for increasing your self-esteem as an individual. Make an effort to grow, develop as a specialist, increase your range of skills. Broaden your horizons, gain new knowledge - this helps increase your income.
Take action!
Try to avoid moments of inactivity. At this time, disbelief in one’s strength sets in, goals begin to seem unattainable, methods and means are questioned. A busy person has no time to think, to delve into himself, to doubt. Always be on the move.
We form an image of ourselves in our heads. This can be either a portrait of a successful, happy, rich person, or a poor, unhappy loser. Everything depends on ourselves.
Read more:
How to increase a woman’s self-esteem: 20 great ways + 2 cool psychological exercises + 3 wrong ways.
It doesn’t matter why now your self-esteem has slipped “below the plinth” - your loved one left you, you lost your job, or the dress you bought for crazy money is making you look fat.
Need to find effective way make the sky blue again, your face happy, the ice cream delicious, and life beautiful!
Let's “try on” the ways how to increase a woman's self-esteem quickly and efficiently.
Anxiety! Call everyone up or 5 signs that it’s time to think about how to increase a woman’s self-esteem
If a woman cannot calmly accept compliments, gifts, or help, then she should work on her self-confidence and self-esteem.
Well, where did the idea that you are unworthy of all this come from in your bright head?
And if a man offers you a heavy bag, you don’t need to immediately fiddle with your pocket in search of a gas canister.
Due to low self-esteem, a woman agrees to a relationship with the first person who offers.
So what if he swears like a prisoner after serving his fifth sentence and hasn’t read anything but an ABC book?
After all, “I molded him from what was, and then I fell in love with what was…”.
A woman urgently needs to increase her self-esteem if she cannot say out loud about her desires.
No, no, we are not only talking about your favorite sex position (although this should also be voiced to your loved one).
Learn to at least tell your beloved what you want to order at a restaurant and finally decide on seafood, and not ordinary pasta with cheese.
A woman with low self-esteem is not respected by people around her.
For how many years now psychologists have been telling people that those who are next to you only reflect your attitude towards yourself and self-esteem, and “things are still there.”
If a woman sees competition in all other ladies, then it’s time to increase her self-esteem.
“One likes watermelon, another likes pork cartilage,” so don’t think that you, unlike the blue-eyed blonde, cannot be lucky in love.
“I am the most charming and attractive”: 5 ways to increase a woman’s self-esteem with the help of external changes
Not only men, but also women love themselves with their eyes (don’t take it as vulgarity!), so read about how to increase your self-esteem by playing up your appearance:
Time to do: 5 specific actions to increase a woman’s self-esteem
Get a pet.
No, just imagine how your self-esteem will skyrocket when you find out that you are able to get up at 5 am every day to walk your beloved dog.
A woman needs to find a new hobby if she wants to increase her self-esteem.
Oriental dancing and handicrafts, billiards and bowling, yoga and flower growing - you can’t list everything!
A woman can find a way to help those who need it.
And, who knows, perhaps that tall brunette from a volunteer organization who goes to the orphanage or a shelter for homeless animals, exactly your betrothed?
In order for a woman to increase her self-esteem, it is worth gaining new knowledge every day.
Think about courses foreign language, driving a car, personal growth training, etc.
During a period of acute dissatisfaction with herself, low self-esteem and unemployment, Olga signed up for free computer courses from the Employment Center.
The result is not only the coveted “crust” and increased self-esteem, but 5 months of fun studying, like in student times, and three amazing new girlfriends.
Visit perfect order in your home (make repairs, rearrangements, etc.).
It is difficult for a woman to increase her self-esteem and feel the harmony of the world if she has “Armageddon” in her closet and palm-sized spiders in the corners.
Mind games: how to increase a woman’s self-esteem by “reshaping” her brain?
The best scientific minds from the field of psychology are puzzling over how to make every young lady self-confident, like the Queen of Sheba.
Your own psychologist: 10 best tips from healers of souls on how to improve a woman’s self-esteem
- To increase your self-esteem, overcome envy, otherwise, self-doubt will bloom in full bloom.
Make a list of 50 of your positive qualities, holte and cherish it.
By the way, if you manage to get more than 50, that’s just wonderful!
But be as specific as possible, for example, don’t write that you are a good cook, but write: “I cook duck with apples in such a way that if James Oliver tries it, he will cry with envy like a three-year-old and leave the profession.”
I even saw one young lady's ability to draw perfect eyebrows with a pencil on the list! What is not a method to increase self-esteem?
Start your morning with affirmations (positive statements) to boost your self-esteem.
Agree, there is something about getting up without telling your dear boss to go to hell, as well as your colleagues, neighbors and future fellow passengers on the minibus, but saying out loud (this is important!) something like this:
“I am 100% aware of my worth and will make this day great!”
Stop communicating with radish people.
If your friend chuckles skeptically when she sees your new dress, muttering, “Well, you’re not 18 anymore!” and advises you to think about switching to anti-aging cosmetics and warm leggings instead of fashionable leggings - such a friend is in the “firebox”!
Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to your past self.
And if today you are one centimeter closer to the splits, then why is this not a reason for pride and increased self-esteem?
Learn to calmly accept compliments and attentions if you want, as a woman, to increase your self-esteem.
There is no need, the alley is like a May rose, to tell you that the whole secret is that you washed your hair in the morning and managed to iron your blouse.
Praise yourself even for the smallest achievements.
Didn't oversleep for work this morning? Holy woman, just holy...
Don't make excuses for your actions to others.
Yeah, well, go on a date with a person who doesn’t have a third degree and has a crooked nose.
You don’t have to tell your mom: “But he doesn’t have a beer belly and has a kind heart.”
Write down in a separate notebook everything “good, bright, eternal” that happened to you during the day.
Even if it’s a 20-minute lunch break in the park or a compliment about your hair from your hairdresser (oh, the rascal, he wears it smoothly to “unwind” it for an expensive dye job!);
Don't try to please everyone, as this undermines your self-esteem.
If you are under 25, then even if you wear knee-length skirts all the time and return home before 8 pm, for the grannies on the bench at the entrance you will still be a potential prostitute and drug addict.
2 cool psychological exercises that can help a woman increase her self-esteem
"Double".
When communicating with people, do you shrink, shrink and mumble something unintelligible?
Imagine your favorite actress or singer (or even the full cast of ViaGra) in your place, step back and let HER communicate on your behalf.
It's YOU who needs to boost your self-esteem, but this beauty is doing great!
"10 seconds."
Psychologists say that when assessing a woman’s appearance, only the first few seconds matter.
So just wait for them to finish!
How to increase a woman's self-esteem from the point of view of filmmakers: 15 luxurious films
To ensure that lovely ladies do not lose their composure and good spirits, many wonderful films have been made.
They will use vivid examples to tell you how a woman can increase her self-esteem:
| No. | Name | Country, year of release |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Million Dollar Baby" | USA, 2004 |
| 2 | "The Devil Wears Prada" | USA, 2006 |
| 3 | "Queen" | USA, 2007 |
| 4 | "Frida" | USA, Canada, 2002 |
| 5 | "Black Book" | Germany, UK, 2006 |
| 6 | “Moscow doesn’t believe in tears” | USSR, 1979 |
| 7 | "Erin Brockovich" | USA, 2000 |
| 8 | "Barefoot on the pavement" | Germany, 2005 |
| 9 | "Head in the Clouds" | USA, 2004 |
| 10 | "Eat, Pray, Love" | USA, 2010 |
| 11 | "Golden age" | UK, 2007 |
| 12 | "Joan of Arc" | USA, 1999 |
| 13 | “And in my soul I’m dancing” | Ireland, France, UK, 2004 |
| 14 | "The Barber of Siberia" | Russia, Italy, 1998 |
| 15 | "Another Boleyn" | UK, 2008 |
You are guaranteed pleasant hours watching these film masterpieces.
10 best books that will tell you how to raise a woman's self-esteem
Therefore, it makes sense to take a closer look at the following literature:
| No. | Author, title |
|---|---|
| 1 | V. Levi “The art of being yourself” |
| 2 | E. Robert “The main secrets of absolute self-confidence” |
| 3 | S. Mamontov “Believe in yourself. Self-confidence training" |
| 4 | M. Smith “Self-confidence training” |
| 5 | R. Bach "The Seagull Called John Livingston" |
| 6 | A. Nothomb “Fear and Trembling” |
| 7 | D. Millman “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” |
| 8 | P. Coelho “The Alchemist” |
| 9 | D. Murphy “How to become confident and raise self-esteem” |
| 10 | E. Tarasov “How to increase self-esteem and achieve success” |
How can you still love yourself and increase your self-esteem? Answers to these questions in an educational video:
Get off the wrong path, madam, or 3 methods on how to increase a woman’s self-esteem if she wants to completely ruin herself
Alcohol, drugs, promiscuous sex.
Come on, honey! In the evening at the bar you, of course, seem to be a better femme fatale than Carmen and everything is fine with your self-esteem.
But the morning will come anyway, and with the dawn all your inner “demons” will return.
Schadenfreude, gossip, manipulation, humiliation of other people.
Have you decided to play Doctor, or rather Doctor Evil?
Or feel special, close to the emperor?
Well, as you know, but the principle of the boomerang and the simple folk “As it comes around, so it will respond!” no one has canceled yet.
“Make yourself look like another woman” in order to increase your self-esteem.
We understand perfectly well that men drool just looking at Angelina Jolie or Anna Kournikova, but you remember that “the rich cry too” and these young ladies often have several thousand more problems than you.
So, various methods, how to increase a woman's self-esteem- more than enough.
The main thing is the desire to take care of yourself, and not walk around with a sad face, like Pierrot’s, and universal melancholy in your eyes.
After all, as we remember, “the rescue of drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves.”
We sincerely believe that you will be able to form adequate self-esteem.
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By applying at least some of the advice and getting even a slight increase in your self-confidence and self-esteem, you will significantly make your life easier, increase your income, improve your well-being and quality of life in general! You can actually achieve this quite quickly and easily.
Why is this important? Or what is self-confidence?
Your life success= Your Professionalism/Skills , multiplied by Self-confidence and self-esteem. Which means that you cannot compensate for your lack of confidence and self-esteem with new knowledge and professionalism. If you want to live better and earn more, develop your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Have you noticed that there are not very smart, but successful people, self-confident, perhaps arrogant, boorish, pushing forward like an innocent bulldozer and, oddly enough, “for some reason,” achieving what they want?
And vice versa, there are very smart, kind people, perhaps with 2-3 higher education, but unsuccessful because they lack self-confidence and low self-esteem? And no matter what they do, somehow everything doesn’t work out very well, it falls out of hand. It’s not a matter of professional knowledge; besides that, you also need courage, drive, and determination.
This is what the presence or absence of self-confidence and good self-esteem means. You cannot compensate for them by receiving another university or MBA diploma or reading another hundred books.
I know excellent, kind, beautiful people, with 3 higher educations, living in cities, who can hardly earn food for themselves, because they have great self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Having even a small grain of self-confidence, you will be able to “move mountains” of things to do. And it’s really easy to implement and develop in yourself.
Tip 1: There is no need to be ashamed of insecurity and low self-esteem.
We live in very difficult times and are going through several structural crises at once. We were not prepared at school for such difficult times and rapid changes. That's why economic crises are called depressions.
They hit the self-esteem and self-confidence of almost all people painfully. Even businessmen can't stand it. Stress, chronic fatigue and burnout are becoming major diseases that lead to heart disease, cancer and even death.
Shame displaces the problem from consciousness. In other words, what are you ashamed of - you try not to notice, not to talk about it and not to pay attention to it. The problem will remain, only you will not notice it and will not know what you are suffering from. For example, it took me 10 years to understand what was going on - I was ashamed. During this time, you could become more confident and increase your self-esteem dozens of times. And forget about it.
Living with low self-esteem creates a risk for health and life in modern conditions. Therefore, it is vital to figure out how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. Fear, shame and laziness have big eyes. Everything is much simpler than it seems, the one who walks will master the road, and luck is the reward for courage.
Tip 2: Perfectionism or learn to live with self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Even many celebrities admit that they consider themselves not very confident people. That doesn't stop them from achieving success. There is no limit to perfection. There is no limit to self-confidence. The topic is natural for everyone - it’s just that everyone has their own level.
Some lack the confidence and self-esteem to find a normal job. For others, to take their business to a new level, earn another million, or implement a grandiose project.
Uncertainty and low self-esteem will always bother you a little - this is normal. We are all living people. Once you achieve your current goal, you will want more and again you will not have enough self-esteem and self-confidence for a new goal.
Learn not to worry about insecurities and learn to keep moving forward in a state of low self-esteem! There are no ideal conditions, and they are not needed. You’ll go through the next step and won’t even notice how your confidence and self-esteem have improved “on your own.”
Tip 3: Why most trainings don't work? Psychology of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Insecurity and low self-esteem are very deep subconscious a habit that you have developed and, alas, been strengthened for decades. And then, through negative experience and stress, they were literally “concreted” into subconscious. We are controlled by the subconscious and habits - we need to change them first.
Work on changes must be carried out at two levels - at the conscious and subconscious levels. At a conscious level, for example, with the help of autosuggestion, it turns out quick effect, but short and you have to constantly do self-hypnosis or other exercises. Only at a subconscious level can deep changes be developed and the results consolidated forever.
Most of the trainings I have seen do not work on how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in subconscious level. Coaches simply don't know how to work with the subconscious. Well, or they are too lazy to bother. And the practices are somehow more like self-hypnosis - self-esteem “bursts” like bubble from the first difficulty.
It’s much easier to create a short-term surge of confidence in one day - quickly get great video reviews. The student will leave happy, but after 2 days, confidence and self-esteem fall through the roof. The trainer no longer cares - the review has been received and will be used to sell the course to other similar people.
Attempts to contact the coach again may end with a hint “that you are a fool”, “keep doing the exercises”, pay again. This may be repeated several times. The student, having wasted his money, remains a fool and continues to fuss over the same situations, but with ineffective exercises.
Tip 4: What should the training be like? Secrets of the psychology of confidence and self-esteem.
Training that truly teaches how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence and leads to long-term and deep changes:
- Last from 1 month to form the habit of thinking in a new way, the skills to stop doubting and being afraid.
- Contains meditation exercises to create changes and consolidate the skill of “stop being afraid” and doubting at the level of consciousness and subconscious.
- Has exercises that let go of previous negative experiences and doubts that concrete self-esteem below the plinth.
- Improves life literally within a month, and even increases the participant’s income.
- Tips and exercises should be simple. So that even the most insecure get results by stupidly performing the exercises. The quantity of exercises performed turns into quality - the skills of internal confidence and strong self-esteem are formed.
- It shouldn’t take a lot of time and a lot of effort. They just don't have them modern man. About 1 hour a day no more.
- "Carapace" of tension– is it being released? (“The shell” of tension - constantly tense muscles on the body on the lower back, shoulders, neck, hips, face - everyone has, but not everyone feels it) If not, then this is not training on personal growth, but nonsense, with loss time and money. The effect will be short-term - a few days or weeks, a maximum of a month.
- Qualitatively form new behavioral skills at the subconscious level - through simple exercises.
Exercise 1: You as an asset. How to develop self-confidence and improve self-esteem based on previous experiences.
The name suggests a solution. People with low self-esteem and lacking self-confidence do not value themselves, their experience, their knowledge, their past achievements, their skills. They say -
“Well, it happened by accident, I was just lucky,” “Oh, that’s nonsense.” They just forget that accidents are not accidental.
If you don’t value yourself and your achievements, who else will value you? First you learn to value yourself, and then others around you will catch up.
Keep a notebook that will be your “success diary”. There is something magical about keeping a diary - just by keeping a diary you can achieve sustainable personal growth, develop the skill of analyzing situations, changing oneself, and developing desired character traits.
Remember your past experiences and life stages: work, youth, university studies, school in different classes.
What successes, luck, victories, awards, achievements, skills, positive personal qualities have you had? What obstacles did you overcome to get them? Write it all down, along with your successes, in your diary.
- What did you do well?
- What did you do on your own? What did you do with your own hands?
- What could you do for free?
- What activities do you lose track of time in?
- What delighted you?
- What made your eyes sparkle in childhood or youth and your heart begin to beat with pleasant excitement?
Write down everything you remember in your notebook. Consciousness is capable of repressing (forgetting) unimportant events. And such events are definitely underestimated. It will take you several attempts to remember everything, and you don’t need to demand that you remember everything now. Just do this exercise for a few days. When you remember something, write it down.
Exercise – Daily Experience.
People tend to pay more attention to negative events and forget, belittle your dignity. It is recommended that every day, mentally go through the events of the day, remember what you accomplished today. Remember your small daily victories that you did not notice during the day, good luck, new opportunities, qualities.
Do the exercise for several weeks or even months until you develop a stable skill, a new habit of immediately noticing and appreciating any of your small achievements, noticing even small opportunities.
You will be surprised how effective this will be for you. It is from such “small” achievements that strong self-confidence is formed, stable high self-esteem and a successful life are developed.
Exercise 2: Subconscious changes or how to gain self-confidence and raise self-esteem deep from within.
Do you have grievances or doubts? For example, I considered myself a non-touchy person. But everything turned out to be exactly the opposite. I was very touchy and actually took offense even 
for the smallest reason. Gradually the understanding came that this was not normal and that it was just me. I began to gradually let go of grievances.
Remember the movie "Gentlemen of Fortune"? One of the main characters was constantly offended by the other: “I tell him I have the flu, and he: “Get in the water, get in the water!” Because of this insult, he forgot that he was forced to climb into the water to hide that same golden helmet. Which they couldn't remember where they hid it and couldn't find it for the entire movie.
It’s the same in life, because of grievances, we concentrate on the bad and lose sight of opportunities. And over time, it takes a toll on self-esteem.
At first I wrote down in my diary all the grievances that bothered me in at the moment, and what I could remember. There were 10-30 grievances. Then he released everything on the list. Then I wrote it down again and again and let it go until I let it all go. Now I have developed a strong skill and I need exactly a couple of seconds to let go of the offense.
How much easier it has become to live and communicate with other people.
I remember the times when I was offended with horror. Letting go of a grudge is a relief beyond words. Take a diary, write down 10-30+ grievances, start letting them go from the easiest to the most difficult. With every grievance released, you can gain a little self-confidence and raise your self-esteem a little.
- You can only offend the weak.
Is it possible to offend a strong, confident person with strong self-esteem? It turns out that any offense initially positions you as weak, vulnerable, and hard to touch. Letting go of a grudge means regaining your strength, self-respect, self-esteem and self-confidence that you can handle it. How nice it is to be strong from within and gain self-confidence and well-deserved self-esteem.
- All the grievances are such little things - complete nonsense.
Stop acting like a sissy - you are much stronger than you seem. Life can give you a beating and kicks, but so what? Is it really worth being offended for every reason? A kick in the ass means a step forward. A kick is not as terrible as our consciousness makes it out to be. The discomfort from certain situations is greatly exaggerated by our consciousness.
And you shouldn’t waste precious energy on them by being offended. Start letting go of grudges, and you will see how you will become much stronger than yourself. Let go of grudges for yourself, not for someone else. You need this first. Others do not care about your grievances - they carry water for the offended. Do the exercise, get rid of grievances and “they will stop carrying water” on your back.
You will find your strength, become confident with strong self-esteem.
Exercise 3: Mistakes in life or how to be confident, increase self-esteem and love yourself, despite past experiences.
Popular wisdom says:
- every cloud has a silver lining
- not flour, but science in advance
- There would be no happiness, but misfortune would help.
The list of similar proverbs can go on and on. The world is structured in such a way that everything is learned by comparison. Achievements and victories are therefore valuable, because losses can be painful. Only good things would be like butter, like sickly sweet.
Again, we are not taught or prepared for real and tough life. Yes it is beautiful world– but it is full of dangers. Society is the same jungle with the struggle for survival, only tougher. And your whole life is a struggle: with sleep, with your weaknesses, with challenges, and with anything else...
If you succeeded in something, then you received some benefit or reward. If you made a mistake and were wrong, then you have learned a life lesson. If you want to achieve a lot in life, you need to increase the number of mistakes. Without mistakes you cannot achieve success.
Exercise: Analyze in writing the errors that bother you.
What lesson did you learn from this mistake? Yes, it may have been painful - accept the lesson and let go of the resentment, towards the situation, towards yourself or others for what happened. This is a stage in life that you need to go through. Accept the lesson and move on.
Everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone gets hung up on mistakes. By rejecting a painful “lesson”, you will attract similar situations to yourself again and again. By accepting the lesson, you regain your strength, self-esteem, self-confidence that you can achieve what you want and reach a new level. By accepting the situation, you admit that you are stronger than you thought about yourself. That's how it is.
All your mistakes are dust, nonsense, raised to a power - not worth even one of your gray hairs. This is a fly turned into an elephant due to resentment. Let go and move on to new heights. This is exactly how strength and strong life skills are gained, this is how self-confidence and iron-clad self-esteem are forged and tempered.
Exercise 4: The roles you play. How to become a confident person and increase self-esteem.
We all play some role. For example, for a long time I played the role of a nice guy, a smart guy, a cheerful, perky guy. Of course, those around him liked it so much. Others play roles - I don’t care, I don’t need anything, I’m the most important, I’m cool. All these roles are not yours and are imposed in the process of socialization.
Externally, they can manifest themselves in the choice of clothing, gait, gestures, facial expressions, and behavior.
Naturally, the role prevents you from being yourself. Of course, to show your strength. For example, playing the role of a good guy, I couldn’t say “no” - I’m a good guy - and accordingly I was taken advantage of. Playing some role creates the illusion of security that everything is in order.
In fact, playing a role creates a rejection of a part of yourself, which naturally leads to low self-esteem and self-confidence. Embarrassment and self-consciousness. By giving up the role, you return yourself to yourself, find yourself, your strength, self-confidence. You allow yourself to claim what you really want deep down!
Look into your past. What roles have you played or are you currently playing? Why do you think you play this role? What are you running from by hiding in this role? What do you give up in yourself by playing this role? What are you afraid of and hiding behind this role? Describe how you should behave in such situations in order to be yourself?
Write this down in your diary, in more detail. Create the mindset that next time you will behave differently - just as you wrote down in your notebook. And you will become more confident and increase your self-esteem at the deepest subconscious level.
Exercise 5: How to become confident, love yourself and increase self-esteem?
In general, there are no special differences for men or women on how to become confident, love themselves and increase self-esteem. There are male problems, patterns of behavior, roles, weaknesses, prejudices, expectations or self-suppression. And there are women's ones. Therefore, in this section we will talk about gender patterns of behavior.
Letting go of men's troubles as a way to build self-esteem and self-confidence.
For example, I had a pattern of behavior - reluctance to cook or clean the apartment - this is not a man’s business, but I’m a man! As a result, often when trying to cook something, I unknowingly did something wrong, either the food burned out, or something else. It was a kind of unconscious protest against the fact that I lived alone. As if he was complicating his life in order to “kick” himself for living alone.
While cleaning, I became very irritated, angry with myself - this is not a man’s business. Trying to jump out of my pants to make myself a “real man.” Well, and other male problems that really interfere with life. After letting them go, for example, I realized that I really like to cook and I’m great at it.
And having accepted the fact that cleaning an apartment is the job of both men and women, the perception changed - I began to see femininity in women, and not an apartment cleaner. By the way, women began to feel more comfortable around me. And now we do the cleaning together, quickly, dividing responsibilities and helping each other.
Letting go of women's troubles - the psychology of true femininity.
Naturally, these gender issues interfere with life and prevent you from being yourself. Similarly, there are women's problems. For example, for many women, femininity and weakness are synonymous. And in an attempt to “strengthen” their femininity, some women make themselves not just weak, but infirm.
I saw one of these - she had difficulty carrying a folder with documents, and at the same time she was very angry that she, so feminine, had to endure such a horror-horror weight of 1 kg. How can a weak woman be confident or have strong self-esteem? Yes, no way. The best is the enemy of the good. Nobody forces you to carry heavy weights, just don’t make yourself weak.
Another example of a female pattern is to live for others: for children, for husband, for someone else. Which means self-suppression, self-sacrifice in the name of “good” goals.
Such people are unpleasant and cause rejection and hostility. Get rid of this “tuning”. Think about what female/male roles you play? What gender pattern of behavior do you have? Why are you actually playing this role or gimmick? What are you protesting against? Or what are you trying to prove? Did playing this role help you?
Discard this template - it is probably already very outdated and no longer effective. What new behavior would be more appropriate for you in the current conditions? Write it down in your diary and set yourself the mindset that next time you will behave in a new way and will no longer worry about these problems.
Exercise 6: Unfinished business. Performance. Simulation of vigorous activity.
Unfinished tasks drain your strength, health and reduce your productivity. It is impossible to deceive yourself, or your subconscious - the subconscious or some other inner part yourself, always knows who you really are.
If you are trying to get a new contract, customer or workplace, but at the same time you have a lot of unfinished things behind you - then your subconscious will slow you down. As if hinting - well, where do you need a new job if you haven’t finished the old one yet? You can't handle it. And he will begin to fill you with doubts.
Unfinished situations keep you in the past and do not allow you to live. Unfinished relationships are a hindrance personal life and are not allowed to create new relationships. Without letting go of unnecessary people, you are not letting the right people into your life. This all reduces your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Sometimes it is very difficult to let go of something or someone.
I remember I couldn’t let go of some situation and turned to my teacher about it. He listened and asked - do I know how they catch monkeys in India? They feed on them there. I answered no. Hindus tie glass jar, and put a banana inside. The monkey sees the banana and puts his hand in, but the hand with the banana does not pass through the neck of the jar.
The monkey is unable to unclench his fist and let go of the banana, so he loses his life. My teacher looked at me and added - Let go of the banana, don’t be a monkey. Let go of the situation - don’t waste your health and strength on it.
Do the exercise as quickly as possible: write down in your diary what unfinished business, relationships, situations you have? Think about how you could finish them to free yourself? Write down your new steps in order to end situations. Take action immediately. Let go of those who need to be let go.
You do this for yourself first and foremost, and not for someone else. Create a mindset for the future that you will complete situations, projects, work. Stick to this new rule. Remember - you have no restrictions except those. What have you created for yourself? You are the very person who is holding you back the most.
Exercise 7: How self-doubt and low self-esteem affect health.
People with low self-esteem and insecure tend to treat themselves and their lives. There is a disregard for health, a disregard for health. Low self-esteem and self-doubt create a state of apathy. They discourage the desire to do something for themselves. Includes ignoring yourself.
Some self-revenge is even possible. For example, one of my friends could drink in moments of hopelessness, and then get behind the wheel and drive around the city “drunk.” Well, this is her form of self-denial, self-punishment for the fact that something in life does not work out. There are other forms that I will not describe.
Remember that you need to take care of your health. Neglecting your health is tantamount to neglecting yourself. If you don’t value yourself, who will value you? And at the same time, valuing yourself and your health is almost the same thing. Be sure to take care of your health – do regular exercise – it’s not difficult.
A healthy body means a healthy mind. A healthy mind means healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. Take care of your health and don’t wait for better times - start taking care of yourself today and every day.
Exercise 8: Letting go of self-pity or how to become confident, love yourself and increase self-esteem.
There is such a pattern in behavior - poor baby, self-pity. Oh, what pain self-pity brings. When you feel sorry for yourself, some muscles on your head tense and cause incredible pain! Self-pity literally blocks your progress, rams your self-confidence and self-esteem into the dirt.
Self-pity greatly annoys the people around you. It is incredibly difficult to communicate with such people. Therefore, people subconsciously avoid those who feel sorry for themselves; they subconsciously want to get rid of such people as quickly as possible. Run further. It’s surprising - people don’t like to be pitiful, but they often fall into self-pity and want to be pitied.
Which means they will look pathetic, although few people can logically connect this. Get rid of this relic, hard times. With the help of pity, the most you will get is a handout in the form of a “crust of bread.” If you really want to succeed, you can't do it with handouts. You must achieve your success through strength, firmness, and character.
By letting go of self-pity, you regain your strength, restore and strengthen your self-confidence, and increase your self-esteem.
Write down in your notebook why you feel sorry for yourself? And start describing why you really feel sorry for yourself? Let go of pity until a strong skill is formed. Over time, you will be able to let go of pity in a few seconds. And a habit will appear to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Exercise 9: Look fear in the eye or the psychology of self-confidence and increasing self-esteem.
All people have fears and are afraid of something. Again, everyone has their own level. We need fear for survival - it is a harbinger of danger. But when emotions are added to fear, then “the fly turns into an elephant.” People say that fear has big eyes. Because there is no more than 1-3 percent rational in your fear.
And everything else that you are afraid of is dust, nothing. The other 97% of your fear is an exaggeration. Fear constrains and prevents you from acting. What kind of self-esteem can there be if there are fears? Fear is deposited on the body as a thick layer of tension. By letting go of fear, tension in the body is also released.
Castaneda (the most quoted mystic of the 20th century) argued that fear is our first enemy that must be defeated. But if you lose to fear, you will lose for life. I met a girl who lost the battle to her fear. Those. she's in right moment I couldn’t let go of some fear.
Her fear turned to paranoia. She was afraid of everything. Mostly her fears were contrived by her rich imagination. For example, she was afraid to stand with her feet on a chair 30-40 cm high. How can you let go of fear? Look deep into the fear. Find out what you are really afraid of. Write this down in detail in your diary.
Imagine what will happen if something that scares you happens? Is it really as terrible as fear makes it out to be? Will you really not survive this? Continue to look “in the face” of fear and try to understand and feel what you are really afraid of. Write down all your thoughts.
Before my decisive battle with fear, I psyched myself up for several hours.
I was shaking with fear, like a perch in the wind. But I gathered my courage, prepared myself mentally, prepared to look him in the face - to deal with this fear. Everything turned out to be so banal. It was some kind of complete nonsense that I invented for myself.
I let go and felt better. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders - the muscles of the shoulders and near the neck relaxed. Then I let go of many more fears. There were so many of them. And how they interfered with life. Has fear disappeared completely? No, it’s still there, just a little bit, 100 times less than it was.
That's how much should remain. Fear is like a harbinger of danger, which without fear we will not notice. Does this interfere with living, acting, reaching new levels? No.
Exercise 10: Letting go of guilt or how to gain self-confidence, increase self-esteem and love yourself.
As Confucius said: The one who imposes guilt on you wants to control you. Guilt literally hammers self-esteem and self-confidence into the ground with a sledgehammer. Trying to gain self-confidence and improve self-esteem while feeling guilty is like trying to fill a sieve with water.
When you have a feeling of guilt, ropes can be twisted out of you. And the worst thing is that there will always be people who will do this. First, a person is accused of omissions, negligence, and mistakes, half of which are invented, and the rest are exaggerated. And then they supposedly do a favor and forgive, but in fact they are asking for free work, obligations, etc.
Feelings of guilt are released, just like resentment, only more difficult. Feelings of guilt are such a big offense against yourself. I recommend letting go of a few dozen grievances first in order to gain experience before committing to letting go of feelings of guilt. The moment when the feeling of guilt was released - you will not confuse it with anything.
This is a moment of intense relief, liberation, as if a heavy burden had been removed from the soul. The biggest difficulty in letting go of guilt is that people really believe that they deserve it, that they themselves are to blame and should be punished.
You will be surprised, but you have no reason to feel guilty, even if you made some mistake.
And if you let go of the blame, this does not mean that you will make mistakes more often, it does not mean that you will go to great lengths and become crazy. Rather, on the contrary, the feeling of guilt attracts mistakes and problems like a magnet.
Feel free to let go of guilt - remember no one owes anyone anything. Just as you are owed nothing, neither are you. If you feel guilty, it means you have loaded yourself with something unnecessary. This kind of ego, look what a cool anti-hero I am, was able to ruin the lives of so many people. But deep down I’m good, so I torment myself with guilt.
It is impossible to be responsible when you feel guilty. Guilt replaces responsibility. You will act extremely irresponsibly, people will be angry with you, offended, but your conscience will torment you. This is not conscience - it is irresponsibility that torments you. Do you want to be responsible? Let go of guilt towards others.
Exercise 11: Self-deceptions and delusions. Self-hypnosis of negativity or who are you really trying to deceive?
I remember how at the very beginning, when I was just starting to work on my self-esteem and self-confidence, my teacher carefully caught me in self-deception. For me it was like a bolt from the blue. "How? Am I kidding myself? It can’t be like that.”
Later, of course, many self-deceptions were revealed and released. Each time it brought incredible relief and gave me a little bit of self-esteem and strength. If you think that you are not deceiving yourself, then this is your first self-deception! Nothing human is alien to you. Actually, just like any other people.
There is no need to judge yourself for this. We are all like this, to one degree or another. These are people, and you are the same - also, first of all - a person. Think about situations when you deceived yourself. Think about why this happened? Write down in more detail the reasons for self-deception in your diary. Don't be afraid to tell yourself the truth.
Remember or find a moment in the situation when you made a Choice in favor of self-deception. Mentally replay the situation. Imagine that you acted differently - as you should have. And set yourself the mindset that next time in a new situation you will act differently - without self-deception.
Your environment pulls you towards itself. If they are Taller than you, they will pull you up. If it is lower than you, then they will accordingly pull you down, and your confidence and self-esteem will fall. You can also choose a circle of like-minded people - those people who strive for more and really work on themselves - with such people you will also grow.
There is a category of people from whom you need to run - it is impossible to help them. You will not have enough strength, health, or life to help them get out of the hole into which they stubbornly plunge themselves. This is not bad. This does not characterize you as bad. Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved. If you try to save someone around you, you won’t save anyone, including yourself.
I'm not saying don't help others. You can help if they help themselves. What if they drown themselves? Will it not happen that the drowning person will drag the rescuer with him, i.e. You? There are some things that life has to explain. And if people harm themselves so much, then only life can force them to change their attitude towards themselves in order to begin to dig themselves out of the hole.
There is nothing wrong with choosing the right social circle for yourself, refusing to communicate with those who are drowning themselves and drowning others. Who will you hang out with...
Exercise 13: A mess in the head leads to low self-esteem and prevents you from developing self-confidence.
There is such a law of nature - what is outside is also inside. (maybe someday I will describe all the laws of nature in interpersonal relationships in a separate article.) If a person has a mess around him, then his head is also a mess. Sorry. Living in a mess is difficult. And by the way, establishing and maintaining order around you leads to order in your head.
I know people who have a complete mess everywhere: at their desks, trash in the car, a dislike for cleaning the house. And, “oddly enough,” in personal relationships, in business relations, in friendships, with children and even with parents - it’s also a complete mess. Without luminous. I feel sorry for the children - they can follow in the footsteps of their parents.
Well, I understand that unwritten rules must be broken if you want to achieve something. Serious projects impossible to implement in a perfectly organized office. Working for results means some chaos. And I'm not going to dispute this. But only a work mess, as a consequence of the work or creative process. And not a household mess, as a result of a mess in the head.
I urge you to fight the household mess.
Once you’ve done your work, remove the unnecessary stuff, put things in order as much as possible. Similarly at home - put things in order in the rooms, in the closets where your things are stored, in personal documents, in your car, in tools for men or in cosmetics for women, in the kitchen among dishes and utensils.
Don’t stress, if you need help, find and watch a few video lessons, there are a lot of them now. Buy devices for this: various hangers, drawers, folders, shelves are now full of them for all occasions - everything you need to put at least some order.
Start striving for order. It may be difficult at first, but then it will become natural. Learn to put the used item back in its place immediately after use. This will take 3 seconds maximum. Take off your clothes and put them back in their place straightaway or in the laundry basket. There is no need to accumulate it on chairs in order to collect everything later.
Clean up your apartment, your closets, your desk, your belongings. Throw away the junk.
When using a tool or accessory, put it back immediately. Once you have used the dishes, put them straight into the dishwasher – you don’t need to put them in the sink first because it’s quicker for a second, and then you can put everything in the dishwasher separately. By adhering to this rule, you will have order, cleanliness and will have time for much more. Much more.
And I guarantee you, you will respect yourself more, you will find yourself, you will become more confident, your self-esteem will increase - after you put things in order around you and when you strive for order. You will gain inner strength. Self-esteem is the foundation of self-esteem and confidence.
Exercise 14: Comparing yourself to others or how self-doubt and low self-esteem are developed.
Probably one of the most detrimental habits for self-esteem and self-confidence is comparing yourself to others. This habit fuels and cements your self-doubt and low self-esteem. One way or another, everyone has this habit. Some have more, some have less.
If you observe this habit more closely, you will notice features. Usually comparisons are made selectively, with those who are more advanced, with those who are more successful, who are at a higher high level, and without noticing the shortcomings of the comparison object. On the contrary, your own shortcomings are looked at under a microscope when making comparisons.
If the object of comparison is not cool enough, then consciousness quickly finds another, more advanced object for comparison. It turns out, a priori, a non-winning option, lowering self-esteem and self-confidence lower and lower than the plinth. This is unconscious self-torture, formed into a “sweet” sadomasochistic habit.
Naturally, such a comparison discourages, demotivates, prevents you from acting, improving your life, and can drive you into hopelessness and depression. To recognize and get rid of this habit, take a diary and spend some time observing how you compare yourself to someone else.
- How do you choose an object for comparison?
- How do you choose what to compare with what?
- What details do you pay attention to?
- What strengths do you not notice?
- What shortcomings do you not notice in others?
You need to notice and become aware of everything described above as a habit. After you have described the details, try to do exactly the opposite: look for your advantages, and look for the disadvantages of the object of comparison. You'll be surprised how much of both there is.
Tell yourself honestly - why are you better than the person you compare yourself with?
I am almost sure that you will find virtues in yourself, qualities that you have underestimated in yourself until now. Continue to look for your strengths and write them down in your journal. Do this every time you catch yourself comparing yourself to someone.
Having done this exercise several times, first in writing, then it will be enough orally - you will begin to notice more advantages in yourself, and more disadvantages in others, and, in principle, you will get tired of comparing yourself with someone, this is an empty matter. You will just know that you are okay. You will succeed.
form an internal ban on using their strengths, qualities and advantages. Over time, you stop noticing them at all. You need to bring this quality back - notice where you are superior to others. With practice, your thinking will change, and your skill will be formed.
You must learn to notice the weaknesses of your competitors.
Your mind and thinking must be sharpened to identify them. And develop this skill to the smallest detail. And somewhere in the background in the subconscious, your powers of observation should constantly be working to identify your advantages over others.
I am sure that you have incredibly many advantages, you just don’t notice them and forbid yourself to use them. And it became a deep subconscious habit. Start changing your thinking. Find your strengths and other people's weaknesses. Allow yourself to use this for business, in order to win this competition.
Compare yourself today with yourself yesterday. This is needed as a guide, so that you can see that you are growing, that you are moving forward. Do something every day to be better than yesterday. And with these small steps you will gradually but surely increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. You will be surprised how quickly you will move forward and upward.
Exercise 15: Excessive modesty, shyness, honesty, truthfulness - or how they are hidden in themselves.
Many people overestimate modesty. They consider modesty too much as a benefactor, almost in the last resort. But in the current world, it is impossible to succeed with excessive modesty.
I want to warn you right away that I am not calling for abandoning modesty altogether. There is some benefit from it. But too much modesty is extremely harmful in modern society. I urge you to abandon only “excessive modesty.” And I really hope that you are smart enough to distinguish between “modesty” and “excessive modesty,” because there are huge differences between them.
Excessive modesty, i.e. when there is a lot of modesty, this is nothing more than self-suppression, an internal barrier, self-deception, when the disadvantage hidden under modesty in the form of low self-esteem and self-doubt is presented as a virtue.
A complete lack of modesty is bad, too much modesty is also bad.
There must be some middle ground, neither more nor less. And so you need to let go of some of the modesty. Well, you are your own judge and are free to choose how much modesty to keep and how much to let go - it depends on the life you want to live.
Remember situations in which you were too modest and missed something. Write them down in a notebook, then analyze each one in detail separately. Find that line when there was too much modesty and it began to harm. Think about how you should have behaved differently so that you might not have been missed?
Write down the new behavior model in your notebook. Set yourself the mindset that next time you will behave differently - just as you yourself chose.
All of the above also applies to shyness, honesty, truthfulness - there should be neither more nor less of them. He who speaks a lot of truth is a truth teller. He who is too honest is holier than the Pope.
If you tell only the truth and don’t lie for at least 1 day, then by the evening you can become divorced, unemployed, without friends, beaten up with broken bones in intensive care. Yes, I know we are taught to be too honest from childhood, and then those who are “too honest” cannot get along with anyone because they are “too honest”.
Too much honesty, shyness, modesty is disguised self-suppression, elevated to benefactors of which one is mistakenly proud. There should be neither many nor few. Do an exercise with all the situations when you were too honest and shy - find an acceptable middle ground.
Exercise 16: Criticism - how to benefit and ignore bias?
One wise man was asked:
– Who was your teacher?
It’s easier to answer who wasn’t,
- answered the sage.
Everyone needs feedback and it looks nothing other than criticism. On the other hand, criticism can be unpleasant, annoying, painful, demotivating, affects self-esteem and lowers confidence. Criticism can be useful or useless, or it can be revealing.
The worst and most offensive criticism is hers. complete absence , which means that you swim too shallow and no one is interested in you. It’s better if it’s unconstructive, negative, useless – you can still get at least some benefit from it.
It follows from this that any criticism you receive is of GREAT value. As your self-esteem and self-confidence grow, you will be able to more easily endure harsher criticism and gain more benefit from it.
The most dangerous criticism is only positive feedback or praise. If you are not criticized negatively, it means you are too authoritarian, you suppress people, or they are afraid of you, so they prefer to remain silent, out of harm’s way. Only positive feedback means that you are being deceived, possibly robbed, and you are seriously missing out on something.
There are several types of criticism:
Constructive criticism or feedback.
Criticism is very valuable, when it is useful, it contributes well to correcting errors. Accessible to fairly advanced people who respect you. It requires incredible effort, life experience and wisdom to say exactly on target and without getting too personal or emotional. It can often take time to think about a topic and accurately give advice.
If you find a person who can give you constructive and useful criticism and feedback, hold on to him with your hands, feet, teeth, money, gifts. This is criticism that is worth and must be paid for, because it pays off with interest.
Often the majority forgets to pay for such criticism and this is very, very stupid - such people also need to eat something, but even they are not fed for free. If you want more criticism like this, which is essentially support, pay!
If the criticism is constructive and useless, biased, it means that a professional will discredit you. You may be facing a serious challenge. Which significantly suggests that there are great interests or money at stake. You have grown up, you have been noticed, perhaps you are biting off someone else’s piece or someone wants to bite off yours.
Emotional criticism.
With transitions to the individual, with some venting of dissatisfaction. The most common criticism. Most people cannot express their thoughts any other way. You shouldn't be angry with them. Although this is the most offensive, demotivating criticism. Cultivate detachment.
And it is certainly difficult for everyone to criticize without emotions - this is not taught in school, it requires a subtle mind, education, and life experience. A person who criticizes in this way is touchy, full of dissatisfaction, does not quite understand what he wants to say, and he also has little experience, education, or patience.
It may be indicative of this criticism that this person does not really respect you, otherwise he would choose his words. Perhaps you don’t respect yourself if you allow yourself to be treated this way.
Unconstructive criticism.
Something that needs to be thought about and meditated on in order to figure out what the critic wants to convey. It can be useful when the critic cannot express his thoughts accurately and is not fully aware of what he wants to say.
Often useless: someone wanted to be smart or is pursuing some other interests - it’s hard to remain silent when no one asks. Learn to completely ignore useless criticism: The dog barks, the caravan moves on.
Biased criticism, accusations, insults.
Very revealing situations. When you are subjected to such criticism, you are simply being deceived, discredited or wanted to be used. You are either in the wrong place, or you have seriously crossed someone’s path, they have noticed you and are trying to eliminate you using dishonest methods. Well, or you stepped on someone’s tail, hard and painfully.
Oddly enough, but it may be useful. Perhaps you accidentally touched someone alive and the person burst. It is quite difficult to identify anything useful from this. Rather, such criticism is indicative - what exactly is indicative - you need to figure it out yourself. If there is no benefit, feel free to ignore it 100%, as if it doesn’t exist.
Having such criticism from enemies and serious competitors means a big plus for you. And vice versa, the presence of praise from competitors means a big fat minus - you are missing something, making a mistake or doing it wrong.
They're trolling.
Mostly online. They envy you. Someone is taking out their frustration on you. Perhaps you have gathered the wrong audience, they have nothing to do, they have a lot of time, little money and are too lazy to think - people are having fun, being stupid, being mischievous.
This is revealing criticism. Starting from a certain level of popularity, trolls are a must, otherwise your popularity is a myth. Completely ignore what they say and write. But keep an eye on the quantity - this is indicative. If there are no trolls, it means you are still of little interest to anyone. Change your strategy - start taking more confident actions.
Too much negative and emotional criticism, which a person does not have time to realize and let go, can make a person neurotic by leaps and bounds, driving him into apathy and depression. However, we are not taught at school or university how to benefit from different types critics. It's a pity.
Essentially it means that education and upbringing do not teach how to live. Only parents can teach this if they have such skills or through training. And first of all, it is your task to independently develop the skills you need for a successful life. Remember - no one owes you anything, not even your parents.
Good feedback and gentle constructive criticism - on the contrary, it moves forward by leaps and bounds. Do not spare money for such criticism - pay, you will avoid many mistakes that will cost you tens of times more.
There are people who are completely closed to criticism.
And therefore, for years, banging their heads into the same situations, into which they periodically find themselves, like kicking into cow dung. If a person is closed, then he is closed. To criticize someone like that is to make an enemy. If you perceive criticism painfully, it seems to you that everyone is pestering you - perhaps you are also closed to criticism. Do the exercise and begin to gradually open up.
It is vital for you to be able to be open and learn something useful from criticism, and to include detachment. Psychological armor “like in a tank”, against incorrect criticism - let them bang their heads. Learn to distinguish one criticism from another. To do this, periodically analyze the situations and context of criticism in which you find yourself.
Remember now one situation when you were criticized. It’s very revealing, why did this really grab your attention? Don’t think about what the person said - think about why it really bothered you, offended you? Very often, during painful criticism, I caught myself thinking that I myself also thought it was terrible how I condemned myself for it.
I don’t change anything, I pretend that everything is fine - that’s why the criticism was so catchy. Think about what mistakes you actually made? What should you do differently to avoid such situations in the future?
For example, I had a conflict with an employee of a lower rank.
Formally, I was right - in “everything for the common cause,” but only formally. He spoke very badly about me and constantly created problems for me, the work was done terribly, we even almost got into a fight. After meditating on the situations, I realized that I was behaving arrogantly, overly demanding, towards him.
Having removed my arrogance towards him, the situation “itself” was exhausted in 5 seconds. We began to understand each other completely and realized together large number things that were previously almost impossible. We both forgot about the situation and only after 1.5 years I accidentally remembered that we once had a conflict.
To some extent, every person who criticizes you is your teacher.
Exercise 17: Responsibility = control = result = confidence = self-esteem.
We live in very, very difficult times. We were not prepared for this. Now several crises have coincided at the same time: a structural economic crisis, cultural, civilizational, demographic, religious, informational and others. It’s not that we weren’t prepared for this, all these difficulties were created for us, one way or another, on purpose or not on purpose – it doesn’t matter.
But you are still stronger than external shocks and problems. You have been given a LOT of strength from within to cope with all difficulties. There are still incredibly many opportunities to succeed, even in this time of crisis. By raising your confidence and increasing your self-esteem, you will see this.
And it doesn’t take much time. And for everything to become accessible to you, you need to take responsibility for your life, for the position in which you find yourself.
You need to firmly tell yourself that you alone are responsible for the troubles and victories that happened to you. Neither the victories nor the achievements were an accident. Your current situation is the result of decisions you made earlier, or inaction, the result of choices you made earlier. Only in some cases did this lead to victories, and in others to mistakes.
If you are not involved in your mistakes, then you are not involved in your victories.
By accepting your involvement in your mistakes, you thereby unlock your inner strength. If you made a mistake, then it was you who made the victory, and not someone or something. And this is not an accident. And, therefore, if you were able to win then, then you can win now and in the future!
Just keep in mind - you CANNOT spread rot on yourself or condemn yourself for mistakes. You need to accept yourself, although it can be difficult - otherwise it is not acceptance, but rejection of yourself. Acceptance is when you accepted a mistake, do not condemn yourself for it, you are not ashamed to tell yourself - yes, I made a mistake, I am, first of all, a human being.
By accepting responsibility for what happens to you, you can change. As Karen Horney, a world-famous psychologist, said: External problems are nothing if you are strong from within.
Take responsibility for what is happening - start doing these exercises, and your life is guaranteed to begin to improve by leaps and bounds.
Have I done all these exercises myself?
Yes, I have completed them dozens of times, each one. And I know a lot of such people. And by the way, not only these - I did many times more exercises. I have described for you only the most necessary and effective ones. Their life changed dramatically.
And the period of life, my youth, which should be the most beautiful part of life, is now remembered as a nightmare - because of all these stupid and small mistakes. Like fighting your head against a wall. Like a lot of mistakes, a lot of noise, disappointments and few results.
With each exercise completed, life became better and better. I continue to do them - life continues to improve. And it's oh so nice! And I am sure that you can significantly improve your life with the help of these exercises! And is there anything more important than this?
Performing such exercises means truly appreciating yourself and your life. This means self-respect, self-care. Getting rid of these minor troubles means loving yourself, finding yourself, getting yourself back - squeezing the slave out of yourself drop by drop. The reluctance to change and take care of your health is indicative: subconsciously (unconsciously) you do not value yourself and your life.
A person who does not do such exercises is simply deceiving himself. I hope this is obvious to you? I hope it’s obvious to you that a terrible life and old age await you if you give up all these little bad habits?
How to perform these exercises quickly and speed up your progress? Self confidence training.
Nowadays, it is not enough to practice the correct exercises. Life changes too quickly and becomes more complicated. People are overloaded with work, everyday worries, and there is little time left for practice, as well as strength. It is vital to achieve quick results.
1. An environment that motivates change or, practice in the company of like-minded people.
“It’s bad for a person when he’s alone.
Woe to one, one is not a warrior"
V. Mayakovsky.
Internal changes take place easier and faster when you are in an appropriate environment that is tuned to the same changes as you. In such places, a chain reaction occurs when group members help and stimulate each other.
While your current environment will demotivate and discredit what you do. On the other hand, it is very difficult to admit to someone that you are working on self-esteem - only very strong people are able to understand what you mean and appreciate it.
95% of people don't learn and don't want to change. I don’t know how they will survive in 5-10 years and I think that very serious problems await them. Look for like-minded people and an environment in which you can open up, and which will pull you towards change and finding yourself.
One of possible options joint practice and work on oneself - my “Inner Circle” - participants in my self-confidence trainings.
2. Meditation: Engine and fuel for moving forward.
Any change requires energy. Where can you get it when all your energy goes to work and everyday life? Answer: meditation to accumulate energy. Yes, it is with meditation that the speed of changing oneself increases tens of times and practice turns into an easy, pleasant process.
Thanks to meditation, you can learn to let go of some grievances, feelings of guilt in just a few seconds, according to the principle of remembering and letting go.
Teaching meditation through an article is like teaching swimming while sitting in the office. On initial stage meditation is practiced with a leader, and then independently.
Having mastered meditation once, you can then use it for the rest of your life. You can learn meditation at the training “Doubling Your Self-Confidence in 5 Lessons”
3. Intensive start with self-confidence training.
I hope you liked this article and exercises, and you received a comprehensive, understandable, constructive answer to the question: how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence?
- Do you agree that by applying at least half of it, your self-confidence will increase significantly?
- Do you agree that by practicing these exercises on a regular basis over the next year, your self-confidence will increase significantly? Namely 2 – 3 – 10 or more times?
- Do you agree that by completing at least part of the exercise, your life will improve significantly? Will you be less nervous, tired, and make mistakes?
The only thing left to do is start doing these exercises and get results. The bad news is that if you put it off now until later, you will return back to your reality and forget in 1-2 days not only about the exercises described above, but also about the article in general.
You and your life will remain without the changes you desire. Perhaps you will never be able to achieve your goals and dreams - because you lacked self-confidence. In order to change something, you need to act!
AND better time for action it is now. In six months to a year, you will greatly regret that you did not start doing exercises today. Follow the link and register for the training.
This training is the best way to start improving your life. Register now and see you at the training!
Change, i.e. Only active actions – doing exercises – can improve your life. Do the exercises regularly - and then the result is guaranteed to come to you, you won’t even notice it. Follow the link above, register for the training and start practicing today!
PS2
To be continued. Subscribe to my newsletter. And you will be aware of my new articles, new trainings, free classes.
and gaining self-confidenceIt is a fact that low self-esteem is harmful to a person as it leads to various unpleasant consequences, and in this post we will look at effective ways to increase self-esteem. The article will be of interest to a wide range of readers, as it contains wise advice that will benefit everyone. The methods listed below will also help you gain self-confidence and make your life more positive and harmonious.
Why is self-esteem low?
Because we live in a selfish society, where everyone, striving to be better than the other (or at least to look like that - in the eyes of other people or in their own), tends to “put down” others.
A person lowers the self-esteem of another only because he himself has low self-esteem - and he tries to compensate for this by suppressing others, using all kinds of available methods, direct or indirect. People with normal self-esteem will not make others “lower” or “worse”; they understand that we are all different and each is unique in our own way, and each has its own place and role in life. The idea of "I'm better than someone else" is a sign of being overblown and ignorant, nothing more.
How to properly evaluate yourself?
Before we look at how to increase self-esteem, a few words should be said about proper self-esteem in general. To properly assess yourself, you need to put aside your emotions and look at the situation sensibly, connecting. And it happens that a person, having read “smart” articles about increasing self-esteem with the help in various ways self-hypnosis, begins to imagine himself almost as God, which, naturally, from the outside looks funny at best, and at worst creates even more problems for the person.
Evaluate yourself wisely. Do not think that you can deceive life with self-hypnosis: the trick may work, but in the end everything will be balanced - everyone will get what they deserve. Losers are those people who past life They tore themselves a fat piece of the pie, but they tore it from their own future, so now that the future has become the present, they are left with nothing. People say it right: for every clever nut there is a clever bolt.
Therefore, the best way to increase self-esteem, a reliable and reliable means, is to work on yourself: , by improving in one activity or another and doing good deeds, a person really evaluates himself higher than when he says and does all sorts of stupid things, and therefore receives more according to his deserts. The conclusion is simple: you need to be good person and create more good, then problems with self-esteem will not arise. The idea that life can be deceived is completely delusional, and it is better to abandon it immediately.
The methods listed below are nuggets of wisdom collected on the Internet.
How to increase self-esteem: 20 ways
1. Refuse any destructive criticism and self-criticism. Destructive criticism is a negative assessment of a person, actions or events, which implies an attempt to impose one’s point of view on the world. Imposition is violence, and life does not like violence, so do not waste your energy on something that will turn against you. If you cannot live without criticism, change it from destructive to constructive, helping to improve the situation.
2. Give up negative thoughts, stop terrorizing yourself with destructive attitudes. Thoughts create our future - what we constantly think about is what we attract. We think about the bad - we attract the bad, we think about the good - we attract the good. Feed yourself and spread it around - this is effective way increase self-esteem.
3. Stop blaming yourself and making excuses. If you did something wrong and you are blamed for it, just admit it as a fact. Why unnecessary emotions and excuses? Yes, I’m guilty, yes, I’ll correct myself. Don't drive yourself into a feeling of guilt and don't look for excuses - it's all in the past. Be in the present and think about the future creatively and positively - this way of thinking is the most optimal for a person.
4. Communicate more with positive and confident people who are not trying to put pressure on you or make you “lower”. Choose or rearrange your social circle, as your self-esteem and self-confidence directly depend on it. They say, “Whoever you mess with, that’s how you’ll gain.” On our website you can- just for communication, or friendship, or maybe something more.
5. Engage in activities you love that bring true joy or satisfaction. If this is not about your work, then you need to find a hobby that will give you the feeling that life is not being lived in vain. By doing something you truly enjoy doing, you gain self-confidence and perhaps even meaning in life, which greatly improves your self-esteem. You can take a free purpose test to understand what activities will bring you success and true happiness, and start doing them. When a person knows his purpose and does what he loves, he lives happily, using his abilities and talents, and he simply does not have problems with self-esteem.
6. Be patient with yourself. By changing ourselves and introducing a new positive model of behavior into our lives, we want immediate reward for our actions, but we should take into account that in the material world the effect is separated from the cause by some amount of time, and reward does not always come immediately.
7. Plan your future. Set realistic (quite achievable) goals for yourself, write down real steps to achieve them and regularly implement them - this is an effective way to achieve success and gain self-confidence. Don’t put it off until tomorrow and don’t let your mind think about more than is really necessary, since the mind tends to think a lot of unnecessary things, doubt and find excuses, “why not do this.” If the mind (and in women, intuition) says “it is necessary” and “it is better this way,” then it is necessary, and exactly that way.
8. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and others. If we have regrets, it means we agree that the person cannot cope with the problem, that life is unfair, and that next time I might be the victim. If you can help a person, help, but do not tune in to the negative wave of sympathy and pity, because you will make things worse for yourself and others. Trying to get pity and sympathy (instead of real help) is a manifestation of a subconscious desire “so that others would not be better off than I am.”
9. Accept the gifts of fate with gratitude. Very often people think that blind fate sends blessings to people like me - unworthy. Fate never makes mistakes - there is simply a delay in time, and we cannot always track why this or that benefit came to us. When accepting the gifts of fate, continue to do good deeds, share positive things with others, and more and more good things will come back to you. This way of interacting with the world is the most reasonable.
10. Don't be overconfident: “Alone in the field is not a warrior.” Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wisdom. The weak are embarrassed and lose, and the strong, when they feel that they need support, ask for support, because they themselves never refuse help if it is within their power and does not contradict common sense. We can solve the problems that life puts before us, but no one says that we need to do it alone. On the contrary, interaction with the world around us is the key to success. Find your support - and you will become many times stronger, gain self-confidence and learn to trust the world around you.
11. Love your shortcomings and troubles. Any difficulties and problems make us stronger if we overcome them rather than resist them. Resistance to a situation only strengthens it, because we do not try to accept it, but push it away. Consequently, there is no solution, and the situation can only be corrected by accepting it. Coping with problems and situations that arise will greatly improve your self-esteem.
12. Take care of your body, because these are not clothes that you can change at will at any time. Keep your body clean, treat and prevent diseases. A sick person is always weaker than a healthy one. Why create unnecessary difficulties for yourself? Eliminate them as soon as you find them, without delaying until later.
13. Bring everything to completion, since unfinished tasks reduce self-esteem and self-confidence, reminding us of defeat and weakness. Never quit something halfway - then you will have nothing to reproach yourself with. This is a great way to gradually increase your self-confidence.
14. Don't get hung up on possessions. Any thing that belongs to you can suddenly disappear or break. And the more expensive she was, the harder her loss, and the more this loss will weaken you. Also, the people whom we try to appropriate to ourselves can leave us at any moment, but the dependence remains. Ultimately, and in our use it is only temporary, do not forget about it. So be for what you have, but don't get attached to these temporary things.
15. Stop showing your importance and pretending that you are better than others. If you don't live up to the image you present, others will put you in your place and you will look funny. In addition, with such behavior you will attract someone who wants to compare with you what they usually measure against, and you can lose shamefully, which will not contribute to increasing self-esteem.
16. Overcome your fears. Fears are the biggest destroyer of your self-confidence. Try more often to do things that you were afraid to do, but do without nonsense, unnecessary heroism and unjustified risks. It may turn out that overcoming fears is best way achieve .
17. Help people, benefit society and set others on a positive wave. This will give you self-confidence; and when you realize that you are bringing benefit to people, you will no longer consider yourself a failure.
18. Act decisively and purposefully, without looking back or worrying about past failures. Concentrate on the goal and boldly go towards it; and when you achieve it, there will no longer be a need to raise your self-esteem.
19. Explore wisdom while trying to penetrate life's most important mysteries(“Who am I?”, “What am I doing here?”, “How does this all work?”) and get answers to these questions. As one grows spiritually, complexes, self-doubt and other problems of material existence disappear.
20. Love yourself now and always. You are a unique person, with a unique set of qualities and abilities, you are an integral part of life, you have a unique role and place in life. God created you this way; If he wanted you differently, he would have made you different. The Creator accepts you exactly as you are at every moment of time, so there is no point in not accepting and loving yourself. Understanding this greatly improves self-esteem, doesn't it? Therefore, never expect that bright moment to come when you deserve your own love, otherwise this moment will simply never come.
Of course, there are other ways to increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence, and they can also be successfully applied in your life. Materials on the esoteric site will help you with this, for example, an article and other similar materials (links to which are given at the bottom of the page, under the article).
Discuss on the esoteric forum :
In this article we will consider the following questions:
- 1. What is self-esteem?
- 2. Why is having high self-esteem so important?
- 3. Reasons for low self-esteem.
WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?
Self-esteem- this is your attitude towards yourself, that is, how you see yourself, what you think about yourself and who you think you are. All these self-images are formed based on a list of beliefs about oneself. This list contains both good qualities and bad. Self-esteem is not who you really are or how people around you see you. Self-esteem is something WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF?. People don't always think of you exactly the way you imagine. Your level of self-esteem is yours SUBJECTIVE look at yourself. This quality is formed from the very beginning of your life and is done gradually and can be consciously or unconsciously changed.
In most cases, an unconscious change in self-esteem leads to its low level. Why? People are simply designed in such a way that they notice only the bad in a person, always looking for flaws in him, and for some reason all the good is filtered out. Positive qualities are taken for granted. And since more attention is focused on everything bad, of course, it takes root much better and faster in the subconscious, which accordingly affects the attitude towards oneself. carried out through thoughts and actions in different situations. Forming high self-esteem is very important for a modern person. Without high self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve anything significant.
Self-esteem is the very starting point from which it begins. If you don't love yourself, then how will others love you? High self-esteem is extremely important, because all your actions will directly depend on it. When your level of self-esteem increases, your level of performance in all areas of your life also increases. High self-esteem leads to confident actions and well-made decisions. Low self-esteem leads to timidity, doubts and, as a result, uncertainty at the time of decision-making. I will comment on this process point by point.
- You yourself participate in the formation of your own self-esteem.
- Thoughts and behavior correspond to your self-esteem.
- The influence of self-esteem directly depends on how others perceive you.
- Your self-esteem changes in a positive or negative side after realizing how other people perceive you.
- Let's return to point 2.
FORMING HIGH SELF-ESTEEM DIRECTLY INFLUENCES ALL YOUR ACTIONS, AND YOUR ENTIRE FURTHER LIFE WILL DEPEND ON YOUR ACTIONS.
As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can or can’t do it, you’re right in both cases.”.
REASONS FOR LOW SELF-ESTEEM
1. We are surrounded by negative people and very often deal with a negative society.
There are much fewer successful people, but they were able to break through this wall of mediocrity. Why is it so difficult? All because it is necessary to get out of the usual ideas of the masses and trust yourself, and begin your movement at the call of your soul. And this is not very easy. They lie in wait for you at every step, and in addition they indicate to you that you are not going where you need to go. Those people who cannot withstand such stress choose a simpler path - to merge with the crowd and forget about their own. These are the majority of people; society simply takes them away from them.
2. Human abilities and capabilities, appearance and intellectual potential have been ridiculed or questioned many times by teachers, parents, friends and many others when the opportunity arises.
No matter how poorly or well you complete a task, there will always be people who will criticize you. They will criticize you either for what you did or for what you didn't do. The main goal of any criticism is to increase your sense of importance. When you come forward, you leave a lot of people behind you, and then they try to bring you down with words. Remember: the level of your success will depend on your level of self-esteem.
3. Giving undue importance to some event in which you failed.
4. Self-promotion
Self-promotion is a short text of a descriptive nature. This text should describe you and your qualities with best side. Works very effectively in conjunction with technique No. 1 – "mirror". You take a blank piece of paper and write:
“Ivan Ivanovich, meet Ivan Ivanovich, a respectable and influential businessman. He has business in 35 countries around the world. He is among the 1% of the most influential and richest people in the world. A true leader. Ivan has grandiose dreams and is fluent in self-hypnosis techniques. He has powerful faith in God, in his business and especially in himself. His love is inexhaustible. He loves his job. He loves challenges because he sincerely believes that the more difficulties he encounters on his path, the greater the reward awaits him in the future. He dresses awesome and looks stunning. He has very high self-esteem, thanks to the fact that he knows very well who he really is and what kind of business is in his hands. Every day his business is thriving, and Ivan is becoming more and more perfect, more confident in himself, in God and in his goals. He can achieve absolutely any goals, because with God nothing is impossible. God leads him by the hand.”
After you write the text, read it every day, preferably in front of a mirror.
That's it for the article how to increase self-esteem has come to an end. I wish you success in raising your self-esteem.
How to increase self-esteem, What is self-esteem
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