What to do when it hurts a lot. Forget bad habits. Everything is very bad or why it happens

Today we will be discussing a topic such as "heart heaviness". Many complain that they can not get rid of this unpleasant feeling. We will consider the origin of this feeling, its various types and ways out of this unpleasant state.

First of all, let's translate this abstract expression into a more concrete direction. How does this feeling manifest itself? It manifests itself as a vague feeling of anxiety somewhere in the chest. There is a feeling that a weak one is allowed inside electricity. "Heart flutters." Highly unpleasant feeling no wonder people want to get rid of it. So, heaviness in the soul is a feeling of anxiety.

When does anxiety arise?

It arises when some unsolved problem hangs over us, when we feel the approach of some kind of trouble, when we need to fix something, and when we are in some kind of limbo and the unknown is pressing on us.

What do these situations have in common?

First of all, they are united by the need to find a solution and the need for immediate action. Feelings of anxiety motivate us to act and try to avoid some of the negative consequences of inaction.

Thus, one must understand that “heaviness in the soul” is not a disease, but a symptom. Our feelings stimulate us to act before it's too late. Thus, it would be wise to fight not with a sense of anxiety, but with the situation that caused it.

I will give an example from my own experience. One of my acquaintances, a man in his early forties, who complained of a feeling of anxiety in the wording "heaviness in the soul for several months." After I began to question him about the events in his life that preceded the onset of anxiety, it turned out that before they arose, he had a big fight with his son. During these few months, they never reconciled (why is a separate issue), but he did not connect his emotional state with the situation that preceded it. For some reason, my friend did not want to connect these two events. In the course of work, we sorted out the reasons for the quarrel and this man wished to make peace with his son. Soon he did it and the heaviness in his soul passed.

In this example, the person subconsciously felt that reconciliation was necessary, but his resentment prevented him from doing so. At the same time, he did not want to link the situation and his condition, trying to get out of the internal conflict (a feeling of resentment and a desire to make peace).

Thus, the heaviness in the soul testifies to some unresolved life situation, which, however, may not be realized. Based on the foregoing, work with anxiety should consist in clarifying the circumstances that preceded its appearance. This allows you to identify the "urge to action", which causes a feeling of heaviness in the soul.

I note that a person is not always able to do this on his own, since this can be interfered with by a person’s false ideas about what drives him.

Resolution of the situation.

It is good when the situation can be resolved easily, but it happens that it is too difficult or impossible to resolve it. This happens when the resolution of the situation does not depend on us, but on other people, or other circumstances beyond our control. Unfortunately, it is not always possible for our feelings to explain that we are powerless in something.

What to do in such a situation?

Everything is simple. Feelings require action from us, which means that action must be provided. If we can't handle the situation ourselves, maybe other people can handle it. You need to ask people for help. Asking for help is also an action that will make you a little calmer. In addition, there is a high probability that help will actually resolve the situation.

Unfortunately, there are situations that neither you nor other people can resolve. In such cases, a person needs the moral support of other people.

In such circumstances, diverting attention from the complexities can help.

For example, in the event of the loss of a significant loved one, in addition to other negative tendencies, a feeling of anxiety can also be observed. There is nothing you can do about such a loss, so distraction can help in such a situation. Maybe someone can help. But this is another, much more complex topic, which we will not dwell on now.

What should not be done?

Many people choose to deal with anxiety through various chemicals such as alcohol, sedatives, drugs, etc. It is important to understand that they are not able to help overcome anxiety, but can only slow down our nervous system. Thus, it can only make a person slower, but not calmer. In addition, these funds have side effects, for example, can cause sleep problems that interfere with psychological recovery. Therefore, you should never drink alcohol and sedatives to feel better at heart. This can only trigger new unresolved situations that will cause additional anxiety, which in turn forces you to increase the dose. Thus, a person can fall into a vicious circle.

This is where we will end today. I wish you only lightness in your soul. Good luck!

We have already written about depression and apathy, but what to do when your heart is just bad, and you seem to understand that this will pass, but you want to somehow speed up the process? First of all, accept this state, do not try to reject it - absolutely all people are prone to blues, to a greater or lesser extent. This is due both to the change of seasons and to the lack sunlight and hormonal changes in the body. In order to quickly return to good location spirit, use our advice on what to do when you feel bad at heart.

1) Eat positive! The first thing to do in the fight against blues is to reorganize your diet by adding mood-enhancing foods to it. These include milk, tomatoes, fish, blueberries, broccoli, red peppers, bananas, cottage cheese, whole grain flour, all kinds of cereals and almonds, as well as citrus fruits. Don't forget about the visual component of food - when food looks beautiful, mood and appetite increase by themselves. It will be just great if you are fascinated by the preparation of a new dish, for example, cottage cheese pie with almonds and banana. Inhaling wonderful aromas in the kitchen and enjoying the results of your labors (better not alone), you will quickly forget about all your worries.

2) "Injections" of joy. Imagine that your feeling of "not feeling well at heart" is a perfectly treatable disease, and follow the written prescription for the most positive films, books, series and magazines you can find. Review your favorite comedies, films about love, in which a happy ending invariably happens, re-read positive books, in general, remember everything that has ever made you laugh, touched you and cheered you up, and take it with shock doses!

3) Surround yourself with care. Very often, a depressed state is a sign of fatigue, so your body reminds the owner that he is not a machine, he needs rest, care and affection. Give it to him now! Go for a massage, take a fragrant bath, stop overworking yourself at home, let someone else cook food for several days, or go to catering with the whole family. It is imperative to reduce the level of stress, and for this, forget about problems and worries for a while, and focus on your loved one. The sooner you get out of the current state, the sooner you can return to your life with its sorrows and joys.

4) Get rid of the old. There are two wonderful and accessible to everyone techniques for those who do not know what to do when the soul is bad. One of them is general cleaning your archives and mezzanines. No, we do not force you to wash the windows and vacuum the far corners: your task is to get rid of all the unnecessary old rubbish that takes up space in the apartment for no reason, not letting new stuff into it. positive energy. Haven't used the item in the last six months? So you don't really need it. Give and throw away everything: old notebooks, clothes, broken furniture, unnecessary books and interior items. Pay attention to how much easier it becomes to breathe with each discarded bag or box - of course, because you get rid of the ballast, the burden of the past, which does not allow you to move forward.

5) Create a new one. The second practical technique, which is a logical continuation of the first one, is creation. Draw the sun or flowers on the wall, repaint (re-paste) the wallpaper in a bright color, enliven the room in which you spend the most time with flowers, fabrics, something new. This will help to breathe new energy into you, so that your soul becomes light and joyful.

In the article you will learn:

Hello dear reader! It always seems to us that our problems are the most serious, and therefore sometimes life is not sweet. But is it really so? Or maybe we worry in vain? Today I will tell you what to do when you feel bad.

Looking for the main reason

Surely everyone knows the feeling when troubles like a snowball knock down. There are more and more of them, large and small, it is becoming more and more difficult to restrain emotions and believe in the best. And one day he finds a terrible despair, even a wolf howl.

It’s one thing, they got nasty over little things, offended, the plan didn’t work out or a quarrel with a loved one. But it’s a completely different matter when health problems arise, a divorce is ahead, or something happened to a loved one. Sometimes you need serious psychological help to adapt to new life circumstances.

And, nevertheless, to make it easier and life get better, you need to try on your own. Until a person wants to help himself, no one will help him. Even the most excellent psychologist.

So what to do if in my heart bad and scratching cats:

  • We need to deal with the main cause of sadness.

This is the first rule. The fact is that difficulties do not appear by themselves, we ourselves are their main provocateurs.

Let's say my friend had a conflict with her boss. As a result, natural pressure began at work.

Every day is an experience, and sometimes nervous breakdowns. As a result, health problems began to run to the doctors. Then she fell on her daughter, and the already difficult relationship with her worsened. And then the ex-husband reminded himself so inopportunely ...

However, this whole chain of events was provoked by a single situation - a conflict with the leadership. But in the turmoil of days, we forget what was the source and bring ourselves to depression.

Eliminate if possible

Therefore, you need to figure out the main reason why you feel bad and eliminate it. My friend eventually quit, reconciled with her daughter, the symptoms disappeared after the dismissal, and in a conversation with ex-husband the right words found on their own.

Hence, the second rule applies when depression hits:

  • If the problem cannot be constructively solved, remove it.

Sometimes it’s much better to quit a disgusting job, to get away from bad relationships, to refuse ineffective treatment, than to experience them from time to time. negative impact on myself.

Having found and solved the main difficulty, you should take up the correction of all other situations that did not resolve themselves. You can, of course, let everything take its course and plunge into depression to the fullest. Sometimes this is helpful too.

However, it is enough just pay attention to the problem, think out possible options solutions and bring them to life! Moreover, it is necessary to act quickly, possibly with the help of specialists. Because the further you go, the harder it gets.

What else to do when it's bad?

So now, when there is an awareness that it is pointless to fall into despondency, it is necessary to correct mistakes, then moral resources will be needed to start acting.

  • Take care of your health, mental and physical.

Besides, right job the psyche will require a lot of energy, and if the diet, sleep and wakefulness are disturbed, then little energy will be generated and there will simply not be enough strength. Apathy, bad mood, weakness will prevent the necessary changes.

Therefore, one of the tasks is to track your nutrition, the time you go to bed, etc. And to make it easier and not so bad - more dark chocolate, bananas, cheese, oranges in the daily diet. These products contribute to the production of the "hormone of happiness" - serotonin.

Humility as a virtue

But it happens that it is impossible to solve, and it is impossible to get rid of the problem.

  • In this case, it is useful to have such a skill as humility.

This is not lack of will, but precisely the ability to accept the situation as it is, if there are no more ways left. " Endure with dignity what you cannot change» ©. For example, we can't do anything if close person or the husband fell out of love and left for another woman.

Of course, to survive these events, to grieve is not just possible, but necessary. Since this is a natural process of adaptation of the psyche. But then you need to come to terms with what happened and let go of the situation or person.

Learning to enjoy life

What if morally poorly from unrealized goals or you want to experience bad events sooner, then you need to do the following:

  • Gather friends. Loneliness will only aggravate feelings, provoke self-digging, winding oneself up. And the support of close friends, especially those who look at situations with humor and irony, will help you get distracted and look at everything differently, from the outside.
  • Workout. If there are no friends, even the most overwhelmed friend, then it's time to look for them. And it is best to do this among like-minded people. So go to where people do what you like, to classes and courses dedicated to interesting hobby. For example, sports, fitness. There you can find friends, many acquaintances, pump up your figure, distract yourself from sad thoughts - there are only solid pluses!
  • Go shopping. And girls will love this tip! Repeatedly tested on myself. Well, what brings joy to us girls when we yearn alone, without a loved one? Of course shopping! To please yourself with a new thing or pamper yourself with the services of a beauty salon, a spa center is a real balm for the soul. Just think, the guy quit - there is even better for such and such a beauty!

But we must remember that these are only means to cheer up, find the strength to act and solve difficult situations. Since some are confused and addicted to shopping or parties so much that they fall into squandering, frivolity, and in the meantime, troubles are not solved, but only accumulated. But you just need to not give up and act!

Perhaps that's all. June was with you.

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Many are familiar with such a terrible feeling of despondency, pessimism and disappointment. A bad state of mind is usually caused by external stimuli: events, people's behavior, a series of failures and the like. It is difficult to cope with this feeling, but nothing is impossible in our life. And the main reason why we need to cope with such a state is that it will definitely recur, so we must know how to fight back this sadness, depression or mental failure (call it what you want). Our life cannot consist only of good points and events, but you can quickly expel all the negativity that flies into your life from time to time from your soul and forget about it. So, it depends only on you how long you will feel bad at heart.

Very often on psychological forums you come across a topic, the meaning of which boils down to two sentences: “Why does my heart feel bad? and What to do? You need to start from the beginning, namely, to understand the reasons for your sadness. The causes of a bad state of mind can be divided into "Explicit" and "Transformed". Let's look at some examples of reasons.

Explicit reasons:

  • Family conflict- one of the most common causes, is precisely a family quarrel in which there is never a winner, since in any case, each of the relatives will feel bad after it: misunderstood, unheard, unloved.
  • Conflict at work- the well-known expression “parents are not chosen!” can be applied to the place of work, paraphrasing “the team is not chosen!”. It is rare when people with loyal and flexible characters gather in one team, so conflicts at work are a completely familiar situation.
  • Health problems- sometimes the cause is the problems caused by the disease. And moreover, it doesn’t matter at all whether you or your loved one are unwell, and one and the other fact can knock a person out of a normal life and make you experience not the most pleasant feelings.
  • confusion in love relationships - love and jealousy are one of the most complex feelings of a person that cause a lot of emotions (from tears of sorrow to tears of happiness), so it’s not relationships that can make you depressed.

Transformed Reasons:

These are the reasons that over a certain period of time can be transformed into other forms, thereby misleading in the search for reasons. For example:

  • Unrest at work caused you a lot of negative emotions, but when you came home, they naturally did not disappear, so any offense of a loved one (husband, wife, child, relatives) causes your nervous system to shake and bursts of negativity occur on those people who come across under the arm. There are family scandals and troubles. Then another neighbor, on stairwell, something ridiculous said in your address. Yes, and we parked in the yard not in the best way, because of which we had to go to the signals of other cars and re-park the car correctly and in Right place. Such a tangle of failures can subsequently lead you to emotional exhaustion, after which it becomes very bad in your soul, and you can’t even remember why it all started and what still torments you so much that it doesn’t allow you to live in peace.
  • Or imagine the opposite situation: the love idyll of your marriage is coming to an end, the husband (or wife) is going to file for divorce, takes the children, half of the acquired property. Everything is deplorable. Coming to work, you break down on subordinates, express unpleasant words on the phone to parents who called during working hours. You end up in line at the store, where you are rude, come home late, where you get a cold dinner. And after that, your next day passes in such a terrible state that the expression “it hurts in your soul” does not say anything at all.

In other words, the transformed causes always have a primary or first cause, and there are also associated factors that mask or complement the negative in your life. In these cases, first of all, you should deal with the main cause, and only then move on to thinking about the rest. In most cases, it is enough to simply solve the primary task, and the rest will unwind themselves, like a ball of thread.

Only after we know exactly the cause of our condition, we can apply the most suitable methods exit from depression.

What do I do when I feel bad?

One of the strongest positive charges can only be transferred to a person by loving family members or close friends. When you feel bad at heart and nothing pleases you in this life, it seems that everything is bad - gather your strength into a fist and call your good friends and offer them a meeting. Hanging out with friends acts not only as a distraction, but also as an energizer. They will immediately notice your change of mood, so they will ask what happened. After listening to your conversation about the sore, they will give advice, and most importantly, they will transfer the topic in a different direction, forcing them not to think about what worries them. Of course, it will be difficult to tune in to a cheerful mood, but only for the first half hour, after which you will plunge into the world of joy and happiness, forgetting about the troubles. Try to make the evening of the meeting as impulsive as possible - rich in events and meetings. To do this, you can visit as many entertainment establishments as possible: clubs, discos, karaoke bars, bowling, billiards, cinemas, etc.

A noisy company and a pleasant environment will help you focus only on all the fun. Try not to sit in the corner, but rather force yourself to be in the thick of things and emotions. Arrange contests with friends (for example: whose team will win bowling or billiards; who will collect the most phone numbers at the disco or who will go home to sleep first). Focus not on the number of such meetings, but on the quality. It is better for you to have such fun once a week than to just meet with friends in the courtyard on a bench every day, where unpleasant memories will torment you even more and your soul will ache.

When you are left alone with yourself, you are most vulnerable to pain in the soul. You begin to torture yourself with introspection, sort out what happened in your thoughts, play the situation over and over again, think through and mentally imagine the development of events that would change the vector if you say something differently. If you don’t scold yourself for what happened, it means that you will begin to feel sorry for yourself, blaming everyone and everything for your troubles, pity will cause no more negativity, since resentment will appear first, and then anger. Thoughts of revenge will begin to creep into my head, which, with strong rage, can grow into whole plans on how to take revenge on the offender.

If there is no other way out but to be alone, then try to distract yourself. However, you should not try to relax with the help of a book, unless you are going to sleep - it can relax you to sleep, but if you have insomnia, then the book will make you depressed and bored, especially if you read it in silence. By the way, silence can cause a feeling of panic and fear, which further enhances a bad state of mind. It is best for you to start listening to loud music and watching comedies. You can clean up at the same time, exercise also helps to defuse the situation. And speaking of them...

An effective method is sports, the fact is that exercise stress able to turn off painful emotional limits. The usual 30-minute physical exercise can give a good emotional release. In the morning, sports exercises contribute to the charge of wakefulness and can give you twice the strength to solve mental and physical tasks throughout the day. A short jog before bedtime and a 15-minute exercise can relieve you of all that burden of emotions that has accumulated during the day and it will be easier for you to fall asleep.

A punching bag, or rather blows to it, can also provide an opportunity for a splash of emotions, especially those that have accumulated as a result of resentment towards oneself or another person. It is also desirable to go to the gym in the company, then there will be more motivation for hiking and the time spent there will also pass much faster and more interesting.

After exercising in the gym, there is additional confidence in yourself, your appearance and strength. A self-confident person is able to overcome the emotional burden much easier, and he will stop asking himself such stupid questions as: “What to do when the soul sucks?!”. For guys, physical activity is an opportunity to pump up the muscles of the body and look more athletic, for girls, sport is a chance to lose extra pounds or centimeters on the waist or hips.

Sometimes, in order to get rid of the “stone” in the soul, you need to correct all the mistakes that you have made and which haunt you, making you worry and get nervous. Most often, such pain in the soul is called like this: “Conscience torments”, that is, when you did a bad deed and had the opportunity to correct it, but did not correct it. How long your conscience will torment you is unknown, the period only depends on your upbringing.

In other cases, correcting mistakes can overcome fear. For example: You are afraid that the owner of the car that you accidentally scratched in the yard saw that you did it, and will soon come after you with a group of young "thugs" to take revenge on you. In such cases, it is easier to confess your guilt and correct the mistake than to suffer and “die” from fear.

If it is no longer possible to correct your mistake, try to somehow make amends for your guilt or even do a good deed towards another - this can in some way calm the person.

Act fast! One of the main rules for you should be the condition that the methods of dealing with heartache You will conduct promptly and on time. You should not drag out the situation and believe that you can handle it yourself - this can only worsen the situation, since the longer the depressive state lasts, the more difficult it is for a person to lose it. In addition, procrastination can lead to problems with the nervous system, which in turn will cause retaliatory problems with the general health of the person.

A quick and effective method of getting rid of terrible sadness, or perhaps anxiety in the soul, will help a festive mood and gifts. Even if you don’t see any holidays in your honor in the coming days, still try to arrange an impromptu holiday: get money savings from the bins and please yourself with gifts, buy what you dreamed about for so long, but constantly held back because of savings. A vacation will also bring considerable benefits, in which you can go somewhere to relax. For girls, various trips to spa centers, solariums, beauty salons and, of course, shopping can also become a holiday. For men, it is more difficult to come up with a familiar place to relax, perhaps it will be a football match, an evening at a bar with friends, or fishing.

No less attention should be paid to the food that you will eat these days. Try not to overeat so that stomach pain does not add even more trouble to the situation. The menu for the days should be compiled so that each dish brings you pleasure, both from its preparation and from its use. If possible, then generally go to a cafe for dinner or lunch, especially if you are very stressed by activities such as shopping for products, cooking them, and the worst (for most) - washing dishes after yourself. A visit to the catering will relieve you of all these problems. If there is not much free money that could be spent on lunch in a restaurant, then there are all sorts of "Quick" where meals are served at quite reasonable prices.

A substance in the brain such as serotin is responsible for raising the mood, foods such as:

  • Black chocolate;
  • Bananas;
  • Coffee (at least 4 cups per day);
  • oranges.

Take care of these components in those days when the sad mood will take over you, and you will not be able to do anything with yourself. From salty dishes that are more relevant to use in main dishes, you can choose spinach, beef liver, as well as beans and soy.

Don't give up! If we talk about the mistakes of people who have a bad heart, then for the most part they make one, but the most unforgivable mistake - they give up. Understand that if you feel bad in your soul, then this does not mean that you are sick with something or this is the end of life that cannot be prevented, this is just one of the barriers in your path. And therefore, if you constantly give in to difficulties, you will never be able to defeat yourself and achieve great success in work, happiness in family life and change your character.

If the depression has dragged on and a bad state of mind has become a habit for you, now it will be extremely difficult to get rid of it, but it is quite possible. Now everything is decided by time, and if you decide to give up, then all your actions, done specifically in order to get rid of feeling unwell, will be in vain. Do not do that! Don't give up!

Sometimes a negative feeling is caused by a bad feeling about the development of future events. Therefore, your task is to prevent negative thoughts from entering your brain. There is a practice that claims that our thoughts attract events and if we constantly think about the bad, then it can happen. Therefore, you need to stop thinking negatively and experiencing a future tragedy in your thoughts. On the contrary, try to think only positively and believe in a happy future that will definitely happen to you. To do this, begin to fantasize in detail, namely, to imagine in detail the future that awaits you. For example, imagine what you will be wearing, what color your shoes will be, what your hairstyle will be, and even how much money will be in your wallet. When the future is ready, you can just start waiting for it. And expect it not as if it were a gift of fate, but as a common thing. By the way, successful people they say: "Treat a million dollars, not as a fantasy, but as an inevitability that will overtake you anyway." Be calm and confident in your happy future and do not forget to step towards it.

What to do when you feel very bad at heart?

Now let's talk about what needs to be done in cases where it is very bad at heart. After all, it’s one thing when we are tormented by stupid thoughts that don’t give us the opportunity to sleep well, and it’s quite another when the pain in our soul is so strong that we don’t even want to live - pessimism is seen in everything, and thoughts of suicide are already starting to slip ...

First of all, in such cases, it is necessary to take medicine, but this must be done carefully and carefully. It can be chosen without the advice of a doctor, for this you need to consult a pharmacist at a pharmacy. Describe your situation to him, and he will advise the best type of drug. If depression has been going on for more than a day, but it can already be considered a week (or even more), then preparations in the form of tea can help here, they must be brewed and taken 2-3 times every day. The effect of them is very good, but does not come immediately. To do this, you will need to wait 2-3 weeks (for a complete recovery). Also take some sedative medicine that works more quickly. For example: tincture of motherwort or valerian (some tinctures even contain a complex of different herbs).

We do not recommend buying medicines in the form of tablets, for the simple reason that in acute situations, you can overdo it with the norm, which can even lead to death. Which cannot happen if you choose preparations in the form of tea, syrup or tincture.

Perhaps the surest step in difficult situations- contact a doctor for help. Let it turn out to be ordinary excitement or overstrain, but the main thing is that the doctor will tell you this, and not you yourself will make a diagnosis. After all, in fact, everything can be more complicated. The cause may even be pressure and heart problems, which you agree is quite serious and you can’t risk it.

Therefore, to begin with, you need to visit a general practitioner who will find out about all your symptoms and give referrals to those doctors who can see any disease in you. Most likely, you will only need the help of a psychologist or a neurologist. Despite all the cynicism that a person feels towards psychology and other sciences related to this area, in fact, such doctors can really relieve you of mental problems and calm your nerves in a matter of sessions. In addition, the doctor will be able to give you practical advice about how to act in such situations and in your case, choosing the most effective methods taking into account your physiological and mental characteristics.

With this, we, perhaps, will finish our today's article on what to do when you feel bad at heart. We hope and believe that our methods will help you get out of such a difficult situation.

We also advise you to subscribe to our online magazine "site" in order to always be aware of the most relevant and useful tips for all occasions. And by the way, do not forget that you can send all your questions, wishes and stories to us by mail (through the contact page) or leave them in the comments to the articles. We will try to help everyone by answering your comment or a personal letter to the editor in as much detail as possible.

We wish you good health and all the best!


We all want to be happy, to experience joy. But this does not mean that life will always be cloudless. If a person is alive, there will inevitably be sadness along his path. And the more he loves life, the deeper his feelings for other people, the harder these moments are for him. There is sadness that comes and leaves a person without lingering. Sometimes suffering is caused by such causes, which will not be forgotten until the end of life. For example, in adolescence, parting with first love can be experienced very sharply and painfully.

But, after a few months or years, this is usually remembered with a smile. Such memories are more like a slight sadness for a bygone childhood. However, for example, losing a child is a loss that remains until the end of days. Ways to work with different types emotional anguish differ from each other. What to do if the soul is very hard? How can we relate to our state of mind in different situations?

Longing for loss: accept your feelings

Longing is always longing. You cannot get rid of it simply by trying to rationalize what is happening. When your heart is heavy and you want to cry, you can’t hide it. However, even if a person is in a state of deep sadness, this does not mean that he is forbidden to experience joy. In fact, sadness comes in order to be accepted - and even while experiencing this feeling, it is possible to experience a more meaningful feeling of joy. Not momentary enjoyment or laughter, but a deeper sense of gratitude for life.

Instead of running from sadness or trying to disguise it, it is better to listen to this feeling, to accept it. Longing and sadness mean that life once gave you a gift; and now, having lost it, you understand how valuable it was, how much it was worth being a part of your being for some time. It could be a relationship with another person, or a living being that was important to you, or something else - this gift was so precious that in its absence a deep sadness is born in the soul. Moreover, it was provided to you in a world where no one has any guarantees about their present and future.

Imagine a world without such gifts. Every human life would then be a continuous tragedy. “It is better to lose love than not to burn with love at all,” you will probably agree with this Shakespearean quote.
All things in our world, including sadness, have a dual nature. Ancient philosophers knew about this. Make sure you see more than just the dark side of your feelings. For what gift fate has endowed you with, you should thank her.

If longing arises for other reasons

But often the state of sadness arises for other reasons associated with certain events. Sometimes it also happens that it is not clear for what reason it is hard on the soul. This happens in two cases: either when a person cannot independently determine what exactly causes melancholy and sadness, or when so many problems accumulate in life that it becomes impossible to identify the true cause.

In both cases, you can use an approach that allows you to gradually solve the existing difficulties. For example, you may suffer because of the immense amount of work that needs to be completed within a certain period of time; because of real or imaginary flaws in your figure; due to a recent job loss or separation from someone significant to you.

If it is impossible to determine which of these factors caused depression, you need to gradually start working on all these areas: go to the gym, finally start doing work, post a resume on the Internet (or a profile on a dating site).

Of course, this approach seems obvious. But it is not so easy to take concrete steps in reality, when it is very hard on the soul, and the future seems hopeless. If a person manages to overcome himself and start working on at least some problems, this will already help to alleviate his condition.

What if sadness does not go away in a short time?

If sadness has settled in the soul, this state is not easy to cope with, even as an adult and morally mature person. Each of us periodically yearns for attention from others, care and support. Especially if the state of longing has settled in the heart for a long time. Therefore, if you have friends or acquaintances who can support you, do not neglect this support. If this is not possible, then you will have to take on this role. Unfortunately, many adults - especially residents of megacities - even with a boiling social life, can find themselves completely alone.

Of course, in this case, it is also necessary to treat your feelings with understanding. Try, if possible, to treat your “inner child” as carefully as possible, as psychologists sometimes conventionally refer to the emotional component. To do this, you can try a few simple techniques.

  • First, remember those people in whose presence you felt safe. It could be parents, grandparents. Look at yourself with their loving eyes. Feel the warmth from them. Feel their love, which does not depend on your achievements or the mistakes you make - it really is unconditional. Ask yourself: do they want (or would like, if they are no longer alive) to see their child or grandchild suffer so now?
  • Secondly, to make up for the lack of emotional energy, it would be useful to turn to your higher "I". You can also find a lot about this concept useful information. Let's say briefly - the higher "I" is a kind of ideal of a person, the model that he, consciously or unconsciously, seeks to become. This is an imaginary copy of a person who already has everything necessary for a successful and happy life qualities and skills. Sometimes a parallel is drawn between the higher "I" and the guardian angel of a person in the Christian tradition. In times of difficulty and despair, remember this ideal.

    To reconnect with him and get the energy you need, swipe. Sit in a comfortable position, relax. Imagine a higher "I" - yourself, who managed to go through all the difficulties, develop the necessary volitional and emotional qualities. Feel how strong this person is, how many wonderful talents he has. Then imagine yourself connecting with that copy, becoming one with it.

  • The third technique will help calm the inner child. No matter how old a person is - thirty or fifty - he will always live inside him. Small child, still requiring love and attention. To give him the right warmth, you can do the following. Make a bundle of any clothes you own so that it is the size of a baby in swaddling clothes. Take him in your arms. Now clearly imagine that you have a real child in your arms. That child is you. Visualize the baby's face clearly. Then tell your child how much you love him. Reassure him that you will never leave him. Then you can play with him, or continue to lull.
In addition to these techniques, it is also necessary to keep working on the actual difficulties. If, for example, you are weighed down by imperfect parameters of your physical form, the very fact of going to the gym will help eliminate negative emotions. After all, the mind sends them as a signal for a person to start working on the circumstances. When he begins to do this work, negative experiences become unnecessary.

Sometimes the best way out, when it is very hard on the soul, an appeal to a specialist can serve. In our country, unfortunately, working with a psychologist is not yet a fairly common way to help yourself. Often, not without reason, people do not want to trust psychologists. After all, many of them tend to evaluate people in a stereotyped way, referring them to one category or another and not paying due attention to the individual characteristics of the situation. Therefore, it may take time to find "your" psychologist with the necessary experience and good professional intuition.

However, in the future, these efforts will pay off handsomely. After all, difficulties, including psychological ones, are not resolved by themselves. And the knowledge of everyday psychology is of very little practical use - otherwise everyone who believes that they "solve their problems themselves" would have long been successful and happy.

In any case, anyone who experiences sadness should treat themselves and their feelings with due patience. Get help from family and friends. Remember to praise yourself even for things that may seem insignificant or self-evident. This will help the onset of a speedy emotional and spiritual healing.