How to choose a path in life and not make a mistake

Life is diverse, unpredictable and amazing. Life is boring, monotonous and monotonous. Life is filled with joyful events, creative impulses and interesting meetings. There are many things in life that would be better not to exist. She is capable of giving only unpleasant surprises and delivering unexpected blows. Which of the above is true? Depends on the point of view. What does the point of view depend on? That's right, it depends on who looks at it and how. Someone finds himself at the top and sees everything around him in rainbow colors. Some people have to look from the depths of despair and disappointment. And his world looks completely different.


Finding your path in life means deciding on your point of view. Understand yourself, determine what the space around you should be like, what kind of people you want to see next to you, what you want to do and what to achieve. This can be difficult, because a person can be mistaken about his own account, fall under the influence of others and act based on the wrong desires.

First, let's figure out what the path of life consists of.

Lifestyle
This value may be constant or may change throughout life. Some people live in a metropolis, at a fast pace and in a rigid rhythm. Someone in a small town or village where no one is in a hurry and time passes slowly.

Some people love to move in society, to be constantly visible, and cannot live a minute without communicating with their own kind. Other people are withdrawn, immersed in their inner world and do not need the constant presence of friends and acquaintances.

The lifestyle has other aspects: the desire for constant change and movement or a stable life in one place, the search for new opportunities and the development or strengthening of what exists and constancy, improving the body and spirit or accepting oneself as is.

A lifestyle may be imposed from childhood, but this does not mean that it cannot be changed. It all depends on your desire and understanding of your needs.

Profession
Most often the value is constant, sometimes unfortunately, sometimes fortunately. A situation where the choice of profession was accidental is not at all uncommon. Many people enter some institute only because their parents said so, or for company with a friend, or because the exams are easier there. Then they go to work in the profession they learned or where they can get a job. And after five years they realize that this is not at all what they would like.

If such an understanding has come, great. The main thing here is not to be afraid and not to be led by the force of habit and your own stereotypes. Understanding what he does not like and what he wants, a person can outline a plan of action and come to a state where his desires will come true.

It’s worse when a person realizes that he doesn’t like the work he’s doing, but it’s not clear what he wants to do. In this case, you can try to figure out your desires and skills on your own, or you can contact a psychologist and get tested to identify your abilities and talents.

Personal life
In this aspect, a person is influenced by many factors: patterns of behavior and relationships that have developed in the family and which he observed in childhood, stereotypes imposed popular culture, the example of friends and acquaintances, one’s own conflicting desires.

Someone is sure that his destiny is freedom and independence and follows this path, starting short-lived novels and non-binding relationships. Some people believe that the only acceptable option for existence is a strong, lasting family with children. There are also intermediate options.

In our time, the institution of family has changed significantly. Our grandparents got married and were married once and for life. Then they lived together for several decades, sometimes happily, sometimes not so happily, but most often they did not think about divorce. This was considered wrong and indecent.

Now everything is different. People get married, get divorced, get married again, sometimes more than once. They raise their children and the children of their spouses from previous marriages. Modern children take for granted the presence of natural and adoptive fathers and mothers.

So now there are more opportunities in terms of personal life. A person has the right to make a mistake and the opportunity to correct it with less losses.

Now let’s consider what motivates us and what should motivate us when choosing a life path and in the process of following it.

Desires
An obscure and controversial area. Desires do not always correspond to needs and capabilities. Sometimes a person’s desires become his enemies and lead him into dense jungle from which it is difficult to get out.

What does a person want? Love, prosperity, recognition. They often say – happiness. But not everyone can formulate what happiness is. It is important to learn to understand your desires, to understand which are necessary and correct, and which are momentary and do not lead anywhere.

Capabilities
Assessing them yourself is not always easy. Friends, colleagues and other people around you can come to your aid. If you conduct a survey among them on the topic: what talents and abilities do you see in me, you can learn a lot of new and unexpected things about yourself.

But your friends are also not the ultimate truth. For qualified help in this matter, you can go to a psychologist. Few people do this, considering turning to a specialist as a weakness and an indication that you yourself are not capable of anything. These are the prejudices of our society that need to be overcome. Going to a psychologist is not weakness, but taking responsibility for yourself, your actions and your future.

There is an option that will help you become your own psychologist. This is a test that requires pen, paper, and your full attention. Take a piece of paper and write down all your, even small and insignificant, abilities, skills and abilities. Try to remember as much as possible. On another piece of paper, write down all the activities that give you pleasure. There should be a lot of them too.

Now start crossing out. Cross off the activities that you only do when you're in a certain mood. Now the ones you like but don't want to do all the time.

It's time to compare what's left of your list of activities with your skills and capabilities. You will likely find that you have the ability to turn what you love into a profession and achieve success in it. If some qualities are lacking, they can be developed.

Possibilities
Opportunities are different for everyone and do not always depend on a person’s personal qualities and talents. Someone was born into a prosperous family, received an excellent education, and besides, lives in a city where there is a huge choice educational institutions and companies, where it will then be possible to apply the acquired knowledge for a decent payment. Some initially had nothing but the desire and perseverance to achieve their goals.

The result in both cases can be the same - favorite job, prosperity and successful personal life. Or it could be different: someone achieved what they wanted, but someone was disappointed, gave up on everything and went with the flow. And it is not at all necessary that success accompanied the first option, and failure accompanied the second.

And again desires
Desire is the main driving force in choosing a life path. The first thing to do, as we have already found out, is to understand your true desires. And the second is to outline the path to their implementation. Once you are on this path and take your first steps, you will realize that there are many resources and opportunities around you to achieve your plans.

You choose whether you want a calm, measured life, or whether you are attracted to activity and movement, whether it is important for you to find your love or freedom - your everything. Do you want to break through to the top of your career or is moderate success in your profession sufficient for you? Everything is in your hands.

Finding your path in life is half the battle. For the path to lead to the desired goal, it must be followed steadily, despite various temptations and distractions. On the other hand, the goal is not the main thing. You need to learn to enjoy the process. Then the temptations are not so terrible. Sometimes you can take a little break from the main straight road, turn to the side, take a walk, see and learn something new. Then, with new strength, you can continue on your path.

A man woke up in the forest. And I realized that I was lost.

He had suspected something similar before, but a Voice inside said: “ Relax, guy, it's okay!«

Out of despair, he burst into tears, but realized that this would not help the matter.

And then by chance his gaze fell on a tree and the man suddenly realized that to see what is behind the forest he must rise above the forest with the help of the tallest tree.

And from the height of this tree, the man finally saw his Path.

In order not to get lost in life and to know our Path, we also need such a “tall tree”. What kind of tree is this? I will tell you about this in my article.

We know where to go, we’re just lying to ourselves!

Usually, when people who don’t know advise choosing your Path (finding your purpose), they say something like: “ Remember what you loved to do as a child, what were you passionate about, what could you do for hours?»

Despite the fact that such a “one-step” does not in any way guarantee that you will find your Path, there is a drop of truth here. It lies in the fact that in childhood the child’s brain is not yet polluted with attitudes about the need to find a “normal job” and “live like normal people,” he can dream and is more free to communicate with his unconscious. This means he can feel his Path, but is not yet able to rationally comprehend it.


Having matured and begun his movement in social life, a person subconsciously, deep down in his soul, strives to get to a place where he will be maximally realized in accordance with his inner nature. This place (let's call it " point of self-realization") is characterized by a state of increased productivity and pleasure. IN different sources it is known as the “flow state” (Csikszentmihalyi), “satori” (in Buddhism), “action in non-action” (Bhagavad Gita).

What is important here is that in this state a person VERY HAPPY from what he does and what he strives for. He acts with enthusiasm, and enthusiasm is the best remedy cleansing karma (for those who care about this) or, in other words, improving one’s internal state and outside life in general.

So, if a person really knows where to go, then why can’t he go there? Why does a person think that he does not know where his Path is? Or he knows, but doesn’t follow it. The answer is simple: it's lying to yourself. A person lies to himself in order to justify his choice in favor of social “normality” and his own ignorance in general.

« First failure«

One can talk for a long time about the inferiority and injustice of the social order, but one thing can be safely stated - society as such, at a minimum, is not interested in a person fully realizing himself and moving along his own Path. Society is interested in a person realizing himself as a “normal member of society”, having mastered the appropriate cultural norms, the observance of which is strictly monitored internal Taskmaster.

All this leads to the fact that a person, subconsciously striving for the point of self-realization, encounters various barriers - social, educational, material, etc. (you can read about some of these barriers in the book by Heinrich Altshuller “How to become a genius: the life strategy of a creative person” ). But the main barrier becomes ignorance regarding one’s Path: a person does not know who he really is and where to go.

It's happening here "first failure"– when a person fails to come to “ point of self-realization“he begins to move towards a goal that is NOT his, not his activity (let’s call it social goal-I). Having reached social goals-I person may not experience strong passion or happiness there (or experience false ones), but overall he is doing well: he can buy a car, take out a mortgage, acquire household appliances, go on vacation and not get too tired at work. There is satisfaction from having achieved material well-being or social status, but there is no enthusiasm and pleasure that a person internally craves. There is no harmony in the soul.

People who have achieved social purpose-I are generally satisfied with their work, but are not able to achieve any significant creative results in it, are not able to be fanatically devoted to their work (like Henry Ford, who assembled his first car in a barn) and receive true pleasure from it. If they do, they will most likely stop doing it.

« Second failure« and downward spiral

If a person fails to achieve social purpose-I(due to social, educational, financial, internal or other barriers), or for external reasons he found himself outside of this state (the global crisis destroyed jobs in the industry or sharply increased qualification requirements), then he proceeds to achieve social purpose-II– for example, he gets an uninteresting job in order to earn money. Here he finds himself unhappy and dissatisfied with his work, his education, and his whole life in general.

Since feeling of internal betrayal(betrayal of oneself and one’s Path) intensifies, then a person begins to get tired faster, become exhausted faster, quickly lose the remnants of control over his life and get sick more. Inner emptiness is growing. Feeling unhappy and not realizing the true reasons for his unhappiness, a person begins to turn to sources of external support - these can be clubs, sects, alcohol and other drugs.

In the future, a person may lose this goal and slide even further - to complete depression and desocialization (you can regularly see such characters near liquor stores and at train stations). These people deserve not condemnation, but mercy and compassion. The majority are “lucky” and happily retire to finally “rest.” Retirement is a very cool indicator that shows that a person’s self-realization is not very good. If a person has his own Path, then pensions are for him DOESN'T EXIST ! He follows his Path until the death of the physical body.

Now, knowing this whole scheme (self-realization - full socialization - partial socialization - desocialization), you can determine your place on it, understand where you are and in which direction you are moving (or sliding). And knowing your exact location “on the map” gives you the powerful ability to choose new point to move. Are you ready?

6 things

To move to " point of self-realization"There are 6 things a person should know about himself.

Who am I and what is my place in life– we are talking about awareness of one’s truly spiritual nature and one’s function (in the Vedas brought by the Aryans to India they are called “varnas”; there are 4 main functions) in the human system: if a person was born with a craving for truth and knowledge of the world, he becomes a brahmana (or sorcerer); if with a craving for power and fair order, then a kshatriya (or knight); if a person has a craving for wealth, prosperity and material well-being, he is a vaishya (or vesya); if a person doesn’t particularly strive for anything and only wants to do his job and get enough money to live on, he is a hard worker, a sudra (or smerd).

What is my Mission(or destiny, what is predetermined, destined before the birth of the physical body on the spiritual level) is the answer to the question “why did I come into this world” or “for what am I living”; As a rule, this is a rather abstract idea, expressed by a certain verb - to help, facilitate, create, etc. And here it is important to have maximum precision in the formulation, otherwise vacillations arise.

What is my Purpose in life– what is the most important result in my life (or even beyond) I want to achieve, why and for whom; As a rule, such a goal is so grandiose that it becomes the equivalent of a human life. And as soon as a person has such a Goal, he immediately has a Path.

My values– in other words, what exactly, what ideas, principles guide me in life. And these values ​​must be one’s own, and not borrowed (i.e., not be the values ​​of cultural or religious systems).

My talents- these are a person’s abilities and skills, that is, what he can do very well, naturally, as if by itself.

Personal characteristics- these are desires, interests, genetic inclinations, personal qualities and traits


All these things (elements) must be coordinated with each other, otherwise it will turn out “ swan, crayfish and pike“in the unconscious – different motivations will conflict and pull in different directions.

For example, someone really LOVES playing with children, but he doesn’t last long and he doesn’t have the talent to come up with games, holidays and be very attentive.

And at the same time, a person has a completely conscious goal - to teach people how to eat properly.

It is clear that if such a person chooses a profession children's teacher(babysitter), then he will either not be able to realize himself or will fail.

Or a person who loves everything new, who has the talent to intuitively find simple solutions, who wants to change the world, chooses to work as a marketer in a large corporation as his life's work. It is obvious that he will not be happy and will not be able to realize himself (this is perfectly shown in the film " 99 francs«).

It’s even worse when a person doesn’t know who he is, what his place in life is, what his mission is, what his Goal is, his true talents, values, personal qualities

Such a person will be like a ball in billiards - constantly hitting the walls and never hitting the hole.

Well, as a result, life will not be lived as well as we would like, it will be meaningless.

When all these elements are brought together, it becomes clear to a person how to realize himself, what is his “life’s work,” i.e. professional occupation that corresponds to his Mission, Goal, function (varna), inner nature, talents, values, interests.

As a result, a person receives a complete picture, where there is an understanding of himself and his place in life, his mission (or purpose) and his Big Goal along the Path to which he realizes himself in his life’s work

This is the foundation on which a person builds his edifice of life.


Practice of finding your Path

It is intuitively clear that our Path is programmed (predetermined) even before our birth. But if we try to ask ourselves the question of what exactly it is, then most likely the answer we will get is something abstract. For example, something like “help people be happy” or “teach people to be strong” or “show the world what harmony looks like.” Such an answer is valuable, but not in itself, but in conjunction with other elements of our system - talents, abilities, inclinations, our varna (i.e. function in the human system).

I described this situation as follows - imagine that you have one single leader (God, Tao, Absolute Truth, Supreme Intelligence, etc.), who sits very, very high and defines strategic goals, the truth of which you intuitively feel, but unable to rationalize with reason.

And this leader sets, for example, the following task for you - to help children around the world learn to enjoy life more (this is a sense of mission, purpose). And how to carry it out - decide for yourself, this is your responsibility.

If you take the task entrusted to you seriously, then set a Big and Worthy Goal. For example, such a Goal could be to come up with real children's holidays (according to creator of TRIZ and TRTL Heinrich Altshuller purely children's party with all its special attributes, humanity has not yet created this). Developing a methodology (technology) for generating such holidays is your Path, your “life’s work.”

Naturally, such a Goal must be consistent with the other elements of the system - with your nature, talents, desires, interests. But the general essence, I hope, is clear to you.

« One-move« or system?

Nowadays, the “market” for finding one’s calling/destination is dominated by techniques and exercises that can be called “one-steps.”

Here are some examples of typical “one-move” moves::

  • Analyze 100 goals and choose yours
  • Imagine that you have 1 year, six months left to live...
  • Imagine that you have $1000000-10,000,000 - what will you do?
  • What did you like to do as a child, what did you like to play?
  • If you had all the necessary resources, what book would you like to author (other than an autobiography)?
  • Listen to yourself, to your reactions to the world, to your emotions, to your heart and soul.

“One-movers” in themselves are not evil. Another thing is that they are of little use. This can be compared to the following example: imagine that you need to clean a huge window. You take a small piece of cotton wool and begin to vigorously rub the dirt. After 5 minutes, a piece of cotton wool becomes unusable and you take the next one, and the next one, and the next one... And so on until you have absolutely no clean pieces left - only used ones. You have cleaned some area of ​​the window, but the rest of the space remains unclean.

This is how “one-steps” work – they solve the problem very, very slowly and with minimal effect. Don't believe me? Try sawing with a weak file cast iron pipe one meter thick.

The system works differently. The peculiarity of the system is that the elements included in it do not simply interact, but through their interaction they generate a new system property. Let's say we take 100 liters of water, a long hose, a motor, and something else. Each of these elements individually will not help us clean the window, but by combining them into a system we create a powerful flow that will deal with unclean places in 5 minutes. The analogy is rough, but understandable.

By practicing “one-steps” you become a person who wanders in the fog - you take a step, the fog does not change, you take another step, the fog still continues to surround you, you take a third step and again find yourself in the fog. And then “walking in circles” begins. Theoretically, you can get out of the fog in this way, but I don’t think anyone can give an accurate forecast of exactly when this will happen.

The system is movement THROUGH the fog. Yes, it is there, it doesn’t disappear anywhere, but ahead you see a LIGHTHOUSE. Or a guiding star. And you are moving. Because you know WHERE move and HOW EXACTLY move (to make it more interesting, safer, and faster).

By following the system, you not only figure out what you need to do to lead a happy, exciting, harmonious, interesting life in complete harmony with yourself and the world - a life in which there will be a Path and a Great Goal, a life that you will be proud of. You will also see very clearly in which area of ​​activity you can achieve outstanding results, because this area is completely consistent with your mission, your inner nature, talents, values ​​and personal characteristics.

When to make a choice?

It's never too late to find your Path and move along it. Even if you are 70 years old and you have decided that your life has already been lived. Another thing is that the sooner you start, the more time you will have and the more fruitful, interesting and richer you will live your life.

When Roald Amundsen set the goal of becoming a polar explorer (and reaching the South Pole); he was 15 years old and his health was not suitable for the “assault on Antarctica”. That's why I started skiing, slept at open windows and etc. At 70 years old it would have been much more difficult for him to do this.

Nicholas Roerich, thanks to chance (“miracle”), I became interested in the topic of antiquity at the age of 9 thanks to my acquaintance with the archaeologist Ivanovsky. In fact, this determined the entire further life Path of this undoubtedly outstanding person (“he had already come to the Academy of Arts with his internally conscious theme related to archeology and history Ancient Rus'"). Of course, he could do this at 70 years old, but...

And many more such examples could be given. Their essence is the same: the sooner you start, the more you will achieve. Therefore, if you are faced with the dilemma of “start your Path now or wait a little,” then understand that there is REALLY NO dilemma. There is only an unconscious fear of the new (ignorance) and the actions of the Taskmaster, who forbids leaving the comfort zone. If you really If you want to realize yourself, find your Path and do the “work of life”, which will make you a free and happy person, then you can only have one solution..

Do you want to know WHAT SPECIFICALLY need to be done in your individual case to find your Life Path, create and implement your life’s work, which will bring you pleasure, recognition and profit? Then

Human life is a continuous movement. The line along which a person moves is the path of life. It consists of events that happen over a lifetime. In other words, it can be called fate. Each person has his own destiny, which he builds himself. Some people believe that nothing depends on them and go with the flow of life, maybe this is so, because there is no confirmation or refutation of this. In any case, a person makes a certain contribution to his destiny. Well, for people who want to choose their own path in life, a few tips will help.

If you want to choose a path in life and not make mistakes, you will have to give yourself the right to make mistakes, because without trying, it is impossible to understand whether it is right for you or not. In addition, life goals can change with age and there is nothing surprising if this question interested you at 30, 40 or 60 years old - the path of life can change several times in life, because only those who do not develop do not change.

We should not forget about ancient teachings, no matter how strange they may seem. If you pay attention to some exotic stories, you will notice that the person himself has nothing to do with the choice of his destiny. It is formed long before his birth.

Stress has a negative impact on the choice of life path, since a person in an uncertain state will not be able to concentrate and do right choice. An irritated person is very unbalanced, so his opinion is not confident and inaccurate. Depression not only worsens nervous system, but also have a negative impact on one’s life position.

The choice of life path directly depends on your mood, so you need to smile more often and look positively at all current situations. Even from the slightest joy you need to be able to “squeeze out” all the pleasure. If something does not go according to plan, it is worth remembering the proverb: everything that is not done is for the better.

Almost every person is familiar with the phrase: if you repeat a thought often, it will come true. Maybe that's true. This option should not be excluded. If a person wants something, thinks about it, moves towards its realization, then it must come true. People do everything to fulfill their desires, and only the confident and purposeful manage to fulfill them.

But we should not exclude the possibility that a person chooses his own path in life. After all, he commits actions that later decide his fate. Also, those around us make a significant contribution to a person’s destiny. They can both positively and negatively influence his development, help him choose a position in life, or vice versa.

When choosing his life path, a person sets a goal to which he approaches throughout his life. The main thing is to set this goal correctly and not give up under any circumstances. It's important to never stop. This is the only way to achieve success.

How to choose a path in life and not make a mistake

The search for the meaning of life has concerned people for many centuries. But neither the great sages, nor philosophers, nor ordinary people could give an answer to this question. In life, we constantly have to make choices: profession, university, place of work, spouse. How to find your path in life so that after many years you don’t have the feeling that your life was lived in vain.

First of all, decide what exactly you want from life. This could be a strong, friendly family, a fast-paced and successful career, monotonous everyday life devoid of strong emotions, or, conversely, a life full of passions and dangerous adventures.

Sometimes we simply follow the wishes of others (for example, parents), who determine our destiny for us. This is not correct. Every person has the right to independent choice and mistakes. Intervention, even from a stranger, can cause significant harm to the psyche and self-esteem. The habit of shifting responsibility for your life to others cannot lead to anything good.

To choose a path in life and not make a mistake, decide for yourself what exactly gives you pleasure. Perhaps this is what will push you on the right path in life. Perhaps you enjoy drawing, or playing music, or communicating with children, maybe you like to heal people or simply do good deeds. This will be a hint on how to find your path in life.

Try to spend as much time as possible on what you love. Do not put duty above your own interests, as you can forever give up your happiness.

Take risks, do stupid things, don’t be afraid to change your life. Open your life to something new.

Which movie or literary character most appeals to you, with whom do you associate yourself? To choose a path in life and not make a mistake, select several options; this will help you establish what you really want from life.

Don't give in to problems. Overcoming obstacles will only strengthen you on the difficult path to your intended goal.

And remember, it's never too late to change your path in life. Even if at the age of sixty you realized that your life does not suit you at all, and you were doing the wrong thing, you should not despair. It's never too late to change yourself, and by changing, we ourselves change the world around us.

And finally, do not forget about your loved ones, because their fate is inextricably linked with yours, therefore, they are not at all indifferent to what path in life you have chosen for yourself. And if somewhere, in something you made a mistake and regret it, do not be afraid to admit your mistake and move forward.

How to find your creative path

Sometimes it seems to us that all talented people absorbed talent with their mother’s milk and spend absolutely no effort to achieve creative heights. This is not entirely true, every talented person is talented in his own way, and it takes years of hard work to develop natural abilities. How to find your creative path? Undoubtedly, every person has talent, but how to find it?

We can live and not suspect the existence of talent in ourselves, which is why we do not realize the creative abilities and energy inherent in us by nature. It is very good if parents direct their child on a creative path from childhood, engage in aesthetic education, and send him to an art or music school. It is easier for teachers to figure out what the child is most inclined to.

If the development of creative abilities in childhood was not given enough attention, talent can sleep for quite a long time. How to understand that you have not realized your creative potential.

The first sign of the need for creativity is boredom. Everyday activities do not bring you pleasure, but you are also reluctant to do anything else. In this case, you need to realize your internal resources and determine what kind of creativity you are inclined towards.

There are several methods on how to find your creative path.

You need to remember what you were interested in as a child, what business brought you joy and pleasure. Throw out of your head thoughts about the profitability of this business, just enjoy the process. A new hobby will be a wonderful relaxation and fill your life with energy and happiness.

If the first method does not help, try turning to your subconscious. Psychologists say that in our subconscious you can find the answer to almost any question, you just need to ask it correctly and hear the answer. Take a comfortable position, relax and look inward. Mentally ask a question that concerns you. Don't expect an answer right away. It may arise as an idea or thought a few days later.

If the previous two options did not bring results, you should use this technique. To choose your creative path and not make mistakes, just watch the people who surround you and note for yourself what you admire or simply like. Write down all the things that interest you, and after a while, look through the notes you made and choose what exactly you would like to devote your time to.

Do not give up in the face of difficulties; only through hard work can you achieve mastery.

Life is not a simple biological phenomenon; rather, it can be called an individual socio-historical fact, the reason for which is that every living creature on Earth grows and develops. But here, too, a person is distinguished by an additional feature - he is also formed as a person, has his own claims, dreams, values, aspirations, achievements and his own worldview.

Achieving delivered goals, the individual makes his way in this world. However, not everyone is able to experience this joy and understand what their calling is. Many people live aimlessly, without asking themselves main question: how to find the right path in life?

Let's try to figure out what is the reason for such indifference, and what will help in determining our own importance.

To begin with, it is important to note the fact that human life is divided into five phases. Special attention This statement was made by the famous German psychologist K. Bühler, who found that the first two phases are entirely related to the search for one’s place in life.

He said in his research that the first phase lasts from 16-20 years, and is beyond the mission assigned to a person. This time is allotted for self-determination. The second phase begins after this period and continues until the age of 25–35, when a person begins to look for himself in different areas activity, faces obstacles, his own uncertainty, realizes the responsibility for choosing a profession and determines what he really needs.

The problem of choice

Sometimes a person is confused and cannot find his own “I”, which constantly requires self-realization. This is exactly that case When you can’t sit back and torment yourself with failures, you need to act. And the first step is to eliminate the problem by finding out the reasons that led to the loss of life direction.

Psychologists believe that a person’s lost state is associated with the following circumstances:

  • due to loss (loss of a loved one, status, job);
  • due to the inability to change the situation due to any restrictions (health, financial barriers, etc.);
  • due to the imposition of someone else’s opinion by relatives or close people (for example: “You will never become a writer!”, etc.);
  • because you are completely satisfied with your comfort zone;
  • if there is no main goal;
  • with stunning success (mass recognition often results in dangerous depression);
  • due to self-doubt (the reason for this: a lack of understanding that the desired can only be realized through efforts) and fear (which can paralyze consciousness, including in defending one’s own beliefs).
  • fear (can paralyze any attempts to defend beliefs, move towards a goal, or even expand your comfort zone).

Finding a calling

To understand yourself, you first need to listen to your desires, because desires are part of human nature. Often they are social in nature, but thanks to them, conscious activity begins. And constant thinking about an unresolved issue over time degenerates into the main goals of life.

If there is confusion in your desires, then you need to expand your sphere of interests, find new connections, try new things. The essence of one's significance may be beyond one's perception, but when a person covers By paying attention to areas that were previously closed to him, from a different perspective, he begins to determine what he needs and wants to realize it.

You also shouldn't limit yourself. Many people believe that efficient work bears fruit in only one direction. This is not always the case. Undoubtedly, there are goals that require “total immersion,” however, it is not necessary to spend all of yourself on their implementation. Psychologists recommend combining the main goal with others that take less time; they distract and are in perfect harmony with each other.

Finding your path will be much easier if you analyze yourself, imagining that “I” is the source useful resources to complete a specific mission. To do this, you need to ask yourself the following questions:

  • What can I do?
  • What actions am I capable of?
  • How far can I go in pursuit of the meaning of life?

Abilities are of great importance, since they are personality traits that determine the implementation of a plan, its implementation and success.

In order to come to the “point of self-realization”, you need to learn 6 important things about yourself:

  1. Who am I? Where is my place in life? - in the answers to these questions lies the awareness of the spiritual nature of man and the function assigned to him.
  2. What is the Mission of man on Earth? Why did I come into this world? - it is important to find an understanding of life on a spiritual level, that is, to determine what is destined.
  3. What is my main goal? - what needs to be achieved, the reason for this, the desired result.
  4. What are my values? - personal ideas, principles and beliefs that guide people.
  5. What are my talents? - these can be abilities when something works out well as if by itself.
  6. Personal characteristics - important Honestly admit to yourself both shortcomings and advantages (these can be personal qualities, character traits, genetic inclinations, desires, interests, etc.

When a person “puts things in order”, he will immediately understand how to choose the right path in life. It is also important to note that the answer here needs to be clearly formulated, since all elements of such self-analysis must be consistent with each other. Otherwise, different motivations will lead to internal conflict.

Numerology. Life path number

A numerological characteristic will help you determine your life path. After all, what is destined for a person is often hidden in his date of birth. Astrologers have long learned to reveal personal characteristics, goals and objectives, which they have conveyed to our time.

So, by sequentially adding the numbers of the full date of birth.

For example, date of birth is December 26, 1982.

Add it up:

  • day: 2 + 6 = 8;
  • month: 1 + 2 = 3;
  • year: 1 + 9 +8 + 2 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2;
  • results obtained: 8 + 3 + 2 = 13 = 1+3 = 4.

Thus, the number that contains a person’s mission is 4.

Number meanings

Unit- a symbol of confidence. The owner of this number is a leader in everything. He is ambitious and independent, will always find a goal and will strive to her, not counting on outside help. His weak side is excessive self-confidence and errors in assessing his own capabilities. When choosing, it is better for such people to stick to what is most convenient.

Deuce talks about relationships with the outside world. Depending on how strong and harmonious these relationships are, well-being is expressed. The goal in life is to have perfect relationships with others. People of this number are friendly, sociable, compliant, and objective. Weakness is manifested in gullibility, uncertainty and inability to defend interests.

Troika. Mo it is, one might say, a brilliant number, bright, bringing joy. The owner of a three is a great storyteller and a pleasant listener. He is talented in almost everything and the reason for this is to tell people that life is beautiful. Such people need to try everything and choose according to their taste.

Four is, at first glance, an unfortunate number. But this look is superficial! This number is not about difficulties, but about hard work. The owner of a four does not get anything for nothing, but the satisfaction from achieving his goals is off the charts.

Not everyone succeeds in finding a foothold in order to turn the world upside down, but those with this number can do this, since these people feel a lot and stay close in hope. They are sincere, reliable, characterized by resilience, but are often dissatisfied with their current life, because it seems to them that everyone around them is lucky, and their fate has deprived them of this, but this will not prevent them from achieving their goal, because such people are “masters of their destiny” .

Five- a parade of opportunities, a festival of interests and abilities. These are people who are full of enthusiasm and are constantly in motion, they love to take risks and know how to get away with it. Their calling is to travel and communicate with different people, which will undoubtedly bring benefit and pleasure.

Six- this is balance in everything: in relationships with people, material well-being, talents. The owner of a six strives not only to receive, but also to give, has the abilities of a two and the talents of a three, however, he receives the greatest satisfaction in the family.

Destiny sevens- aspiration, research, solitude. This is the most mysterious number. Its owners are mysterious people, very intuitive, striving to understand everything mysterious (phenomena, spirituality). Seven is capable of achieving enormous success in religion and mysticism.

TO eight are complete materialists. Their motto is: “What I don’t know doesn’t exist.” They don't believe anything and demand proof for everything. These are strong-willed, decisive, responsible and fearless people, whose level of demands is not only on themselves, but also on others.

Nine reflects in the owner of this number service to people and main problem here: learn to serve them without demanding anything in return. These are people who have great opportunities, unlike others who follow the path of self-improvement and share their experience with others.

The main difficulty of the Nine is that it cannot resist everything in relation to the general culture, which only does what dominates the concept of immediate exchange, even when you are infinitely generous. Therefore, it is important for such people to learn not to expect immediate gratitude, because they may be haunted by the same thought that the main target not achieved, and all efforts were in vain. This means that not everything has been done, and the person has not fully realized that he has already been given a lot.

Number eleven has strong intuition and the ability to use her internal reserves, which are not so accessible to other people. The task of the owner of this number is to make important discoveries that will move forward everything that is on Earth. These are people with well-developed psychic abilities, receiving some kind of insight (information) from above. They have the ability to lead people and, thanks to their powerful intellect and unusual worldview, see phenomena and events from a different angle

By developing and improving their own abilities, which will be aimed at service and creation, such people have the knowledge of how to enlighten humanity. But if the owner of the number was unable to realize his mission as the number eleven and manifests his essence in the fate of the two, this will only add good things to his characteristics developed intuition and charisma.

Twenty two- a number higher in essence than eleven. If eleven reflects enlightenment and carries constant new ideas of enormous proportions, then twenty-two brings new projects into the world and implements them.

Here it is necessary to note outstanding abilities in all areas of human feelings and knowledge, the ability to create and implement the most ambitious plans that can change the lives of almost all people.

The mission lies in a deep awareness of existing opportunities, the ability to implement and control them.

If this number manifests itself in the life of its owner more like the meaning of the number four, then fate enriches him with the necessary desire for his own improvement and forces him to work tirelessly on himself, and also increases his demands on himself.

Attention, TODAY only!

Each of us has a choice about how to spend our lives. Unfortunately, most people don't think about it. People simply do what others expect from them: parents, friends, acquaintances. As a result, they forget about their own desires and doom themselves to endless regrets about dreams that could not be realized. How to find your purpose and become happier, says writer and artist El Luna in the book“Between I need and I want”.

A little about the author

El Luna is an artist who forgot about her purpose for ten years. She had a good job that took up all her free time, but one day the girl felt: a career alone was not enough to be happy. Something needed to change.

Oddly enough, she started by looking for a new place to live. A different environment helped me find the right mood and get creative again. El Luna began to draw with gusto. A little later, the girl quit her job because she decided to devote herself entirely to her life’s work.

“I need” and “I want”

“You need to get a technical specialty.” “You need to get a mortgage.” “You need to build a career.” There are too many of these “shoulds” in our lives. But do we really need all this? Often we simply listen to others and don’t even try to look for our own path, which means we give up true happiness.

If you cannot exist without creativity, then a career in engineering will not bring you joy. At best, you will be satisfied with your salary and career success. But deep satisfaction with life will only come when you do what you really want to devote yourself to.

Do you feel like you've taken the wrong path? Right now, put everything aside and think about who you are, why you live and what you are striving for. What principles are important to you? What do you like to do in your free time? What brings you joy? What would you be happy to get rid of? Don't try to live up to other people's ideals, feel free to follow your own.

How to understand what you want

Am I following my dreams? Or maybe I’ve been content with numerous “shoulds” all my life? And if the latter is true, then what exactly is my purpose? Isn't it better to leave everything as it is? Sometimes these questions are difficult to answer. El Luna offers several exercises that will help you understand yourself.

1. Write down as many phrases beginning with the words “You need/don’t need...” as you can think of. Analyze each of these thoughts. Why did you have such attitudes? When did you decide to include them in your value system? What emotions do they evoke in you? Do they prevent you from developing and feeling happy? Should I get rid of them?

2. Place two chairs next to each other. Sit down on one of them and imagine yourself as a person who is going to live by the “should” principle. Defend this position, give arguments in favor, talk about your plans.

Then move to another chair and argue with the previous speaker. List all the desires that you will not fulfill if you do not change anything. Explain the benefits of finding your purpose and the disappointment you will experience if you don't try this path. Move from place to place and carry on a dialogue for as long as possible.

3. Think about your childhood dreams and passions. Do you have bad memories of yourself at a young age? Then ask your parents or other relatives to tell you what kind of child you were and what you liked to do. This will help you better understand your own desires.

4. A slightly shocking, but sobering task. Write two obituaries about yourself. In the first, tell us how you will spend your life obeying the “should” attitude. And in the second, tell what you can achieve if you follow your dreams. Which text inspires you more?

5. Make a list of everything you would like to learn. Every month, try something new from it and cross out the next item. Over time, you will understand which of these activities you like best and why, how they relate to each other, and what they can tell about your inclinations.

No "ifs"

Many people still have a few questions at this stage. El Luna answers the most common ones.

What to do if what you love doesn’t bring you money?You don’t have to give up your main job, especially if it’s your only source of income for now. The main thing is that you still have time to do what you like every day. This is the only way to achieve brilliant results.

What if there is no time at all?You can do what you love in the evenings, on weekends, while stuck in traffic, during your lunch break, and in general at any free minute. If your job really doesn’t allow you to spend your energy on anything else, try to find another place, even if it has a lower but acceptable salary. Remember: there is nothing more important than a calling.

What if I don't succeed? IN In any case, it is better to try than to regret missed opportunities later.

Take courage and take the first step towards your dream. The book will help with this “Between I need and I want” .

Illustrations from the book

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