According to statistics, 80% of men are engaged in masturbation. And this is done not only by people who do not have a sexual partner, but also by those who have permanent relationships or even marriage. Below are the main reasons for this behavior of a man.
The reasons
In order for a man to relieve stress, he needs to either get drunk or have sex. This can be done either with a woman or with your hand. When choosing the latter option, much less energy and strength is expended, the hand does not require long foreplay. I went to the toilet for a few minutes, did the job - and again a good mood. If your loved one is engaged in masturbation, then approach him yourself and help him relax, while you need to show that you really, first of all, want to please him, and then only yourself.
The next reason for this behavior is that the wife eventually became uninteresting. Pay attention to yourself, walk around the house in a beautiful dressing gown, and not in old, untidy rags; make it a rule that cosmetics should be used daily, and not just when you go out. Talk to your man, let him tell you what he lacks.
It happens that a man simply does not have enough sex. If the husband wants to make love every day, and the wife only sometimes, then the man has nothing left to do but either endure (which not everyone can stand), or turn to his right hand for help, or maybe even go “left”. In this case, most likely, the woman is missing something from sex, tell him about it, but rather show what you would like. After all, both partners should receive pleasure from making love, if a woman enjoys it, then the desire will arise more often.
The reason may be that a man simply cannot enjoy sex. This may be due to a small penis, a man is not confident in himself, or he harbors some kind of resentment. As a result, a man becomes withdrawn, he fixates on his inferiority. Such a man is unlikely to be able to enjoy intimacy and it will be difficult for a woman to achieve the opposite effect. To do this, you need to increase the self-esteem of your loved one - tell and show him how wonderful he is, that you feel good with him in bed and not only, bring something new to your intimate life: poses, places, clothes, etc.
It is possible that for a man this is in the order of things. He is sure that he should masturbate because it is like eating, drinking or brushing his teeth. In this case, tell him what excites you to watch him do it, and you will gladly join him. Let it be for you as some sexual game.
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Experienced men or men who have had experience of self-satisfaction, as a rule, easily achieve ejaculation and orgasm during masturbation. An innovative idea is protected by law in order to avoid unfair competition. It is necessary to grasp the head of the penis at the very base with the index finger.
How to please a woman in an intimate relationship so that your relationship remains long and bright? A satisfied woman must scream with orgasm. In fact, everything is much simpler than it seems. In the question of how to satisfy a woman in bed, the main thing is to feel what your beloved wants, try to understand her desires, and not behave repulsively.
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Consider her sexual desires and remember that her complete satisfaction is only in your hands. A woman already in the first minutes of a sexual game determines whether she will be satisfied or not.
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Clitoral orgasm in women is elicited by clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is usually protected from external stimuli by the labia.
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In order for a woman to be truly sensual in the moment of intimacy with you, try to show a little patience and a lot of tenderness. A satisfied woman is able to become a lioness in bed and allow herself. Good helpers will be a glass of wine, a cozy atmosphere, pleasant music, so that nothing can distract you in a moment of passion.
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When your caresses make goosebumps run on her skin, take her breath away - you are on the right track and your woman is satisfied. On the first night, don't pretend to be a super giant. You must determine whether the woman wants another intercourse or.
Ways of self-satisfaction at home men photo.
Ways of self-satisfaction at home men photo
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Boasting about your rich intimate life will also be superfluous - a woman will begin to compare herself with previous passions and relax.
43 ways of male masturbation. Discussion on LiveInternet - Russian Service of Online Diaries.
Show a little more tenderness, hug, gently kiss the neck and shoulders. These caresses will be very pleasant for a woman and will enhance the effect of sexual intercourse. Such attention will be highly appreciated - the beloved will be grateful for the wonderful sensations and will want the next meeting.
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Move on to intimacy gradually: Do not rush if your beloved does not want to. Slow, but passionate caresses excite a woman, making it clear that she is desired.
Methods of self-satisfaction. Male self-satisfaction is the stimulation of the penis with the hands in order to achieve orgasm. Experienced men or men who have had experience of self-gratification, as a rule. When a woman thinks about how to satisfy herself at home. Please note that many men like to watch videos where women are engaged in self-satisfaction. There are ways and secret manipulations on how to satisfy a woman. A woman satisfied with sex is a hint for men.
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Do not put her in a framework that is familiar and comfortable. Give a woman the freedom to be imaginative and she may well surprise you with her unspent passion. Often, intimate female fantasies are more extensive than they sound out loud.
A woman satisfied with sex will always do everything to satisfy a man. For men, we recommend the Israeli aphrodisiac Solomon's Vector in the form of drops. Thinking about how to satisfy a woman in bed, remember that for her sex is not just physical relaxation, but unity with a man.
Tata (name changed): Hello, dear Olga! I really like your magazine, although I discovered it not so long ago, but immediately it became one of my favorites. Very different people write to you, and you help everyone with a kind word, advice. That's what I decided to write. The fact is that I can’t decide what to do, I don’t understand what is good and normal, and what is not. I want to apologize in advance for the possible confusion in the letter, because This is the first time I want to ask for advice like this...
My husband and I have an odd relationship. We have been together for three years, of which we have been living together for a year. He proposed to me very quickly. I pulled, finding all sorts of reasons, but in fact, marriage was my "fad". Just the thought of it horrified me.
Gradually (thanks to his efforts) I calmed down and agreed (without a wedding, without other conventions, meaning that there is no step back, to which he agreed). While we were friends, everything was fine, but as soon as I moved in with him, I found out one oddity - he preferred to engage in self-satisfaction in front of the TV, leaving me alone for two or three weeks. Moreover, before marriage, in this sense, everything was just great. What was he talking to me about. I became very nervous, especially since I am a temperamental woman. On attempts to talk about this topic, he replies: "I hate to talk about it." Tantrums began on my part - to no avail. I decided: I’ll pass by, maybe everything will normalize with time. Then a computer was purchased and my husband was not "seen" at all - the Internet, the abundance of relevant sites swallowed him up completely ... but he does not want to watch something like that with me. I take it as cheating. He can't explain anything and apparently doesn't want to. With all this, he really loves me and does not want to lose me. And I’m in a fog, and I’m not ready to leave, probably, and I can’t stay either, and, as it seems, I shouldn’t. Maybe you can help me with something?
Goodbye. Thank you in advance.
Best regards, Tata
Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Tata! You decide - I do not think that such a background of your relationship can lead to harmony. If you could calmly relate to these oddities of his, then you could still somehow come to terms with his cooling. But since you react so violently (and how else can you react, not do the same thing?), Disappointment in him becomes irreversible and will grow. Moreover, he does not think to change anything. He wants to pervert, not really hiding it, and to have a living person nearby - to wash, wash, clean. You won't be jealous, that's for sure...
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Tata: Hello Olga! Thank you very much for such a quick response. I fully agree with you. In principle, the decision has already been made. I wanted someone else to tell me that this is not quite “correct” (the fact is that my husband keeps telling me that I am “crazy” and it has already become incomprehensible: maybe really, ha ha!). And now I have more strength to break. I'm afraid he won't let go
It's easy for me... And to break love in half, you need, oh, how much strength... Once again, thank you very much for your support. Good luck to you! More warmth and good people on your way.
Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Tata! Thank you for your kind wishes! What does "abnormal" mean? And is he normal? Even if he does not hide, and you should admire his "fun". Normal people somehow don't stick out such things. But, even if he were more tactful, what about his cooling? Since you are a temperamental woman, and he prefers to satisfy himself, this is offensive to you, insulting and incomprehensible. Even back and forth, if you were frigid, and he was categorically denied intimacy, and he would be forced to do this in order to relieve tension, not wanting to cheat on you. But "normal" even in this case would not show it to his wife.
If you had nothing to do with him, except for the bed, then it is probably better to disperse until you become hysterical and have a feeling of disgust for life.
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Tata: Hello Olga! I'm sorry for the intrusiveness, but it's so nice to get another letter from you. Thank you very much for your responsiveness! The thing is, he didn't really want me to know about it. It happened by accident... I just feel strong sexual energy and it woke me up "at the wrong time". There is a lot that binds us besides the bed. I love him very much, I think he also loves me very much, this is something strange ... His love was confirmed throughout our relationship. BUT
problems in the sexual sphere began immediately after my move to him. It was not even in two weeks, not in a month (then I could think that he had lost interest in me), but immediately. It is not clear why it was so necessary to persuade me about living together? And the most impossible thing in this situation is that in general, in everything else, we are very suitable for each other, it seems to me. All this drives me crazy ... If I thought that he had stopped loving me, then I would have left. Yes, it would be very painful, but I know for sure that over time I would have returned to normal. And so, on the one hand, he keeps me, albeit somewhat one-sided, but love, and on the other ... I myself don’t understand what to do ...
One more thing: to my attempts to talk about this topic, about preferences, about some kind of joint decision, he very categorically denies everything. Perhaps I'm not trying to talk to him about it correctly? And is it even worth trying to do something if a person does not want it? It is so difficult to understand this: on the one hand, he does not want a break (as he claims), and on the other hand, he does not want (or cannot?) change anything. Today or tomorrow I want to talk about the gap. I'm only afraid if he asks (and he will probably ask) - there will not be enough strength
leave...
All the best to you! You have a very kind heart! Good luck.
Best regards, Tata
Olga-WWWoman: Tata, thank you for your kind words. You know, if you just "caught" him and he did not deliberately stick out his weakness, but still hid it from you, then I want to tell you this: if you have sex with him, then you can close your eyes to his childhood habits. Well, he can't get rid of
habits acquired during the years of loneliness. Understand it. The Internet excites him, he looks at all these beauties and he wants to. He can't stand it, and he doesn't want to wake you up. And here - your hand at hand (pun intended).
It is unpleasant that you will always suspect him of self-satisfaction. Well, how can I explain to you .... He will not let you into this area - because he is used to being with himself, in silence.
In general, I think you need to listen to yourself. If you can't digest your "discoveries" - leave, if everything is fine, try to convince him that watching porn is all dangerous - then without it, you may not get up. Let's not abuse it.
And there may also be such an explanation: he sits a lot, stagnation in the pelvis, impotence began, and only porn saves. With you, he is embarrassed to look at her, looks without you, he gets an erection, he starts ... and you are already sleeping ... Try to go to bed together and get up together.
We need to find a way out, since everything else is fine. In the end, the sexual climate in marriage depends on the woman. Start by undressing together, drinking wine and caressing each other in the evening. Can't you call him and say: I want you here and now. Bolder. You are close people, arrange a holiday for yourself.
Write, we will think further.
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Tata: Hello Olga!
Thank you very much for your support. The fact is that somehow, I don’t even know why, it happened that the initiative always came from me. When everything was fine, I didn’t even notice it, and then he began to refuse me this. For a long time I tried not to pay much attention. I thought maybe she was nervous about something and everything would normalize over time ... But gradually I developed a fear of rejection, and even in principle not a fear, but an unwillingness to once again make sure that I was undesirable. At first I thought that maybe he didn’t like my activity, but I don’t like passivity either ... If I could react calmly to this ... But at first I had suspicions about his fidelity. After all, otherwise it was difficult to explain preferences. Then, from these thoughts, she began to behave inappropriately ... Naturally, this did not contribute to the establishment of better relations. There was no one to consult with, because this is such a sensitive topic and I don’t particularly want to discuss it with my friends ... Now, when it’s pressed and, perhaps, it’s too late to change something, a way has been found for you. Thanks again for your support. You are doing a good and necessary thing for people.
Goodbye. Best regards, Tata
Olga-WWWoman: And how do you like this option: I used to do this, looking at the pictures and got involved. I met with you - novelty, excitement - everything was fine. Now it's a little pall, it's become habitual and it doesn't excite you anymore. And since the initiative constantly came from you, it means that he generally prefers to satisfy himself - for some reason he is so comfortable. The point, apparently, is not in you, this is his problem and his preferences. And he needs you, a wife is a lot of other things besides sex. And he married, it seems, not because of a lack of sex, but precisely on a loved one.
I have a question: if he constantly pushes you away, were there any gaps, did he not show any initiative? In such a situation, many find a replacement for themselves in a sexual way, and continue their family life, but still, sexual disharmony always has a bad effect on relationships. Is there any hope to talk, to find out the prospects? Why does he not want a woman, can he not go to bed with you at the same time, maybe he wants to watch you caress yourself, talk to him, this is solved - there would be a desire.
Write, we will look for a way out.
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Tata: Hello Olga!
He showed initiative. Sometimes (as I felt) because I understood that I could no longer be "restrained", sometimes because I myself wanted to. One day I decided to experiment. More than a month did not give any signs. There were quarrels over trifles. And in the end he: "You don't want me!". And at first I was generally very offended: I felt his desire, but at the same time he pushed me away. But then I learned not to pay attention - maybe in men an erection does not mean desire at all? He really enjoys watching me caress myself, but that's the part of the game he so rarely wants to play...
About the replacement in sexual terms. Due to my nature, this is not possible. In principle, maybe it would be better, but even the thought of it becomes bad. Maybe you shouldn't keep fighting? Sometimes it seemed to me that something radical, new could restore our relationship, but to this: "You need to be treated." Although earlier: "You and I will never be bored in this regard - we will always come up with something new!"
Maybe it was the fact that he was raised by one mother. And now he subconsciously wants to see me as a mother? On one side of life, everything is fine, but on the other, this is already incest. Is that why you have to engage in self-satisfaction in order to "not defile"? If so, then, apparently, our relations have no prospects? By type, I do not fit a woman-mother, rather the opposite. And this role does not suit me at all. Or maybe I'm wrong, and I'm not a mother to him at all? The fact is that, due to my temperament, I cannot put up with the absence of sexual relations, due to my character, I can’t change, due to emotionality, I can’t pretend that everything is fine and wait patiently. Naturally, quarrels occur over all sorts of different little things, but this is the reason. I exhausted myself and him. Thank you very much. Good luck.
Best regards, Tata
Olga-WWWoman: Kind of a dead end. I don't understand anything. There is an erection - it repels. He himself is engaged in "this" without a woman - and he says to you: "You need to be treated." Yes, he seems to be with great oddities, he does not need a woman, he needs a housewife mother. I'm afraid to advise you something is not right, but I already felt bad, but how do you feel? Okay, words. What about things? Unfortunately, I am unable to understand. Why does he not want to talk about everything, explain himself. This means that in other respects, your contact with him is not so close, human contact. Why is all this necessary, this marriage? If so much suffering? For what?
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Tata: Hello Olga! Once again I want to thank you for your support. It helped me a lot to communicate with you. Everything somehow sorted itself out. Indeed, if I cannot get past all this, "digest" and feel normal, then there is apparently only one way out - a break. Yesterday I had a conversation with my husband, and we decided to leave. Let each of us go our own way. Good luck to you. Thanks again. All the best.
Best regards, Tata
Olga-WWWoman: It's a pity that I could not help to reconcile. But is it necessary? It seems to me that if everything was like in a normal couple: mutual understanding, mutual desire to meet halfway, you would not part. It's not even about sex, it's about deeper reasons.
I'm sorry ... and I wish you good luck and success in life, despite this such a vile, sometimes cruel life ...
Once, such an alarmed letter came to the online consultation of our portal: “My husband is 65 years old (I am 61). He recently learned how to use the Internet and came across porn sites. Now, for a month now, he has been visiting them daily and secretly masturbating. Tell me, is this some kind of mental disorder? Should he be protected from this activity or not? How does masturbation affect men? How harmful to health is daily masturbation at his age? Do many men at his age do this, or is my husband an exception?
The woman who sent the letter can be wholeheartedly praised for the correct reaction: despite anxiety and bewilderment, the wise wife did not faint and break plates, but asked a question to a specialist psychologist. There would be more of these - how many problems could have been avoided. Particularly pleasing is the very posing of the question: is it necessary to protect a man from such a pastime or is it still not necessary? The author personally knows a lot of women who would be worried about completely different things in this situation: to cut off the right or left hand of a partner who has committed a fine? Or both at once? Moreover, not all of these ladies belong to the puritanically educated older generation.
... On one forum, a completely heartbreaking case was described when a wife, catching her husband in this intimate activity, first made a scandal for him, and then a boycott. She simply stopped letting her into the marital bed, saying that she was disgusted to deal with a dirty pervert. It is not known what she wanted to achieve with such measures: the educational process ended with the lady successfully bringing her husband to impotence, which had to be treated for a long and difficult time.
Those who like to relax and dream alone still live easier in our time than a hundred years ago. Masturbation was finally crossed out of the list of sexual deviations detrimental to physical and mental health, recognizing that people from this activity do not go bald, do not go blind, do not grow dumb, do not lose their bed wealth and do not experience an obsessive desire to walk at night with a cleaver. In principle, most women are ready to accept the fact that their partner has the right to relax in this way during periods of forced abstinence. However, not everyone will be able to forgive their man "masturbation" on the sly in the toilet. This is where panic questions begin: is he not having enough sex with me? Doesn't he want me anymore? Is he a secret pervert?
So anyway, what is the reason?
Alone. Well, this, in principle, has already been said. You are on a business trip, visiting your mother, at work, you have critical days, you are pouting at him for something, but you never know why there are more reasons. What now, to deny yourself elementary pleasures?
At a wrong time. Let's say you had a hard day, you got tired, went to bed early. And if suddenly you wake up from the rhythmic movements nearby, do not rush to turn on the light and start to resent. On the part of your man, this, one might say, is a manifestation of care, he did not bother you in the name of his libido. So just choose one of the two behaviors. Or gently whisper in your ear: "Oh, you're ready, as I see - well, I don't mind" - and join. Or convince yourself that you all dreamed up while awake and sleep on. In any case, you can't go wrong.
Lazy. The opposite situation: he was tired, “the head of the shop yelled at him all day” ©. I want to eat a plate of cabbage soup, drink a can of beer and lie down in front of the TV, but first it would be nice to relieve the accumulated tension, to discharge. Of course, you are nearby, all tender and inviting, he, of course, loves you and invariably lusts, but all sorts of foreplay, ten poses of the Kama Sutra, and in general so many movements, uuuu ... For older people, by the way, this is quite often applies - after all, full-fledged bed acrobatics gives a greater load on the body than five minutes of manual manipulation. However, frequent masturbation in older men is still harmful (as is excessive sexual activity). Masturbation can be compared to a lightweight cigarette. Yes, it has a little less nicotine than the regular one. But lightened you will smoke twice as much. So is masturbation: three or four sessions a day will deplete the body more than sexual intercourse.
It won't be enough! There are men who are categorically not enough for half an hour of sex before going to bed. Well, here's a libido, what to do. And such good health. Women will start to sigh and roll their eyes now, but believe me: five hours of sex with a break for coffee and cigarettes is perfect for a holiday romance. However, living with such a man is a heavy cross. The poor fellow-supermacho has two options: either get himself a mistress (two, three, four), or restrain his impulses manually. Which option suits you best? It's a shame. Masturbation in men can be a kind of challenge to a woman. For example, if for some reason she does not let him near her (this, by the way, does not do her credit: sex is one of the most effective, but at the same time the most unsightly tools of physical and psychological manipulation). Or if he is unhappy with how divergent their views on sexual relations are. Let's put it this way: the missionary position under the covers only pleases a man for the first couple of nights.
Dreamily. Who knows, maybe he fantasizes about someone else. Do you really think that you are the only heroine of your husband's sexual fantasies? No matter how insulting it is, Angelina Jolie appears there at least as often as you. Although - what to be offended? As if you didn’t dream yesterday, how the three of you with Brad Pitt and neighbor Vasya on silk sheets ... solved crossword puzzles.
Without complexes. Perhaps, for him, masturbation is just another element of sex that has the same right to exist as everyone else. Basically, he is right. Have you tried to share this simple action with him? And try. You will learn and feel a lot of interesting things.
Well, absolutely without complexes. There are men (usually young ones) for whom masturbation is generally a little sexual entertainment, a simple pleasure, like drinking a cup of coffee. Well, relaxed - who is worse from this? Only to the partner, who for some reason got it into her head that the right (left) hand is her competitor. Dear women, if male limbs were your competitors, the world would die out due to their high availability and problem-free nature.
In general, sexologists say that about 90% of men are engaged in masturbation. Most of them probably have permanent partners. Sex with you and self-satisfaction can coexist perfectly in the psychology of a man, because we are not talking about any kind of competition. Men, as a rule, understand very well the difference between love and the process of getting an orgasm. Therefore, it is not worth sounding the alarm in any case. If your husband's "hobby" still bothers you a lot, the best course of action is to take care of yourself and your relationship. Be more attentive to each other - this is universal advice for all occasions of married life.
It is hard for a 25-year-old man to endure even a two-week abstinence. Self-satisfaction and casual sex helps to solve the problem. In guys of this age, forced abstinence has practically no effect on sexual function. Problems begin when a man gets older. After the age of 35, a long-term refusal to have sexual relations is fraught with problems with sexual arousal and premature ejaculation.
At an older age, the sexual function "as unnecessary" - if the representatives of the stronger sex do not use it in any way - begins to gradually die off. If a long break in sexual relations occurs after forty, treatment by a doctor may be necessary to restore the normal functioning of the genital organs. After a break of at least 3-4 months, a 50-year-old gentleman may never experience sexual arousal at all.
Men are not as selective in terms of choosing sexual partners as women. The problem of the absence of a girlfriend or wife is quickly solved with the help of self-satisfaction or casual acquaintances. However, guys who have wives and mistresses are also engaged in self-satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with that. Self-satisfaction is not only a way to remove the accumulated sexual tension, but also a kind of "training" of sexual function.
Most of all, it is casual relationships that cause problems without counting on the continuation of the relationship. Most often they are tied in a state of intoxication. Sexual relations in such situations are not always safe. What this is fraught with, every adult man knows: at best, you will have to be treated by a venereologist, at worst, you will get to know the program of rehabilitation of HIV-infected people closely. So having a permanent partner, in whose health the guy is sure, is also important for maintaining his overall health and life.