When failure haunts a person, the question arises what to do when everything is bad in life? Practical psychologists a special algorithm of actions has been developed that will make it possible to change the situation in better side. But in order to achieve change, you have to work on yourself.
Stage 1: Getting rid of the negativity in the conversation
Many have become accustomed to complaining about fate and arousing pity for themselves. This must be fought, driving away negative words, thoughts and emotions from oneself by willpower. You need to force yourself to stop complaining about life, and not to show negative emotions, if you can’t force yourself, you can use some kind of exercise, for example, come up with a reminder in the form of a colored thread, tying it around your wrist, that negative conversations should be avoided for a certain time.
This reminder is very useful because, willy-nilly, you will have to think about your problems, look for the cause of their occurrence and the opportunity to get rid of them. After such exercises, you will not want to talk and complain about a hard life, even with others when they complain. Here you need to learn how to translate everything into a joke or change the topic of conversation.
The negative conversation was sorted out, but there were emotions and inner feelings that poison life.
Stage 2: Getting rid of negative emotions
Your emotions are hard to control. They arise spontaneously, making a person angry and irritated. But, if you look at it, emotions do not appear by themselves - they arise on the basis of a person’s thoughts. So you need to analyze your thoughts.
Before thinking about your thoughts, you need to convince yourself of the following:
- worries about what to do when everything is bad in life, do not change anything, but only spoil life, the problem remains;
- most of the difficulties are trifling and not worth attention;
- learn to look reality in the eye, and not run away from the answer.
All problems are divided into two camps:
- those that depend on the person himself - they must be solved immediately, and not be engaged in empty experiences;
- those that do not depend on a person - they must be accepted as they are, understanding that a person is not able to influence them.
And you need to define the boundaries of your experiences for yourself. A person often mixes these facets and spoils relationships with others. This is especially true for children and spouse. But this does not preclude concern for some person.
Stage 3: Caring for others
It is necessary to take care of your neighbor not in words, but out of love. Often, grumbling, reproaches, and experience are called care. Such concern is suspicious. Some, probably, are satisfied with the state of anxiety in order to do nothing, to think about anything, but not about solving their problems. In this case, the question arises - is there a way out of this situation?
Instead of problems - new things!
Instead of useless experience because of any troubles, one should look for an opportunity to correct the problem that has arisen. This does not mean that you have to find good moments in everything, as some teach. It's not productive. From any situation that has arisen, one must be able to find a way out. To do this, you need to focus on actions and your development, and not on the passive expectation of help from someone.
For many people, it sometimes happens in life when everything is bad, everything is not going well in the family, business does not grow, they are fired from work, relatives turn away one after another, and they don’t talk about health just to not be scared to death at all. But no matter how bad everything is, sooner or later this period passes, and it is thanks to it that such transformations take place in life that would hardly have been realized in a quiet, peaceful state.
This is not to make you think that you can achieve something only through complete collapse. And to the fact that even if everything in your life collapses, this is definitely not the end, but rather the beginning. To build a castle, sometimes you have to demolish simple huts. What to do when everything is bad?
You cannot give specific instructions on what to do - do this and that, and everything will be “ok”. Everyone has their own path, and there is no common procedure for all. But there are some things that are key and should be kept in mind no matter what. Without them, breaking out of the vicious circle is very difficult. And we will talk about them now, it will help to understand what to do when everything is bad. So let's get down to business.
How to overcome the period of complete hopelessness? What to do if everything in your life is literally bad? 10 tips from psychologists, as well as those based on life experience, will help you get out of the crisis.
If only because it won't change anything. Perhaps now you think that before a lot of things needed to be done differently, and you did everything badly. But there is one simple truth: if you then, for some reason, did so, it means that at that moment it was necessary. You had reasons for doing this. And if you think you could have done otherwise, know that you couldn't!
Over time, your view of previous circumstances changes, you become older in your life wisdom. So just take what is happening as a life lesson and move on. You still can't change it. But it is in your power to do things differently in the future. Focus on what you can do now, you just don't have time for useless regrets. Think about what to do next, try to take into account past mistakes, learn from them valuable experience and move on, and not lament that everything is bad.
2. Remember that destruction is necessary for transformation
Growth implies destruction. You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. Therefore, when something breaks in your life, this is a sign that you are ready to build something new, you need to think about what to do. But if you give up and tell yourself that everything is bad, then you simply will not see a gap through which you can slip away to a new life.
So keep your eyes open and remember that as we go through hardships, we grow. But, without making efforts to do this, we are bent, not having time to get to the top, such a formulation of the question will help you understand what to do when everything is bad.
3. No problem is given without the ability to solve it.
If you are given trials, then you have room to grow. But on the other hand, it means that you are ready for this growth. As there is no door without a key, so there is no problem without a solution. Therefore, even if you do not see the paths, this does not mean that they do not exist and that everything is bad. Not everything is in plain sight, but sooner or later a chance appears and you will understand what to do. Your task is to catch it in time, find it, see it, generate it in your head.
Do not regret what you do not have, do not think that everything is bad, but focus on what you already have. At least you have arms and legs. And if this is not there, then there is a head on his shoulders. This is already a resource!
Either drown in milk or churn butter, like in the old fairy tale. The frogs were exactly the same. The decision was different. And the next steps.
No matter how bad and hard everything is, do not fall into an emotional hole. Very many immediately rush into a roar and regret. They say: “I have nothing to be happy about”, “Everything hurts”, “I don’t know what to do”. What did you do to find out? What are you doing to make you more happy? There is no reason to smile until you find it yourself. The only generator of happiness is within you. If you find the strength to become happy even when there are no reasons for this, they will appear.
Reality is always sensitive to our thoughts and tells us what to do. If we tell ourselves that everything is bad, then as if by order we receive life to match our thoughts. After all, if we think about it, it means that we like to do it (otherwise we wouldn’t spin so much in our thoughts) - the world does not distinguish whether we like it or not.
If we are completely immersed in this or that state, it will again and again find confirmation for itself.
But what if you switched to a positive, but still nothing changes? Firstly, this is definitely not a reason to fall into nowhere again with your thoughts. And secondly, not everything happens instantly.
Any movement can continue by inertia. And it takes time to adjust to a new trajectory. And it's not always two or three minutes.
5. Remember that everything ends sooner or later.
They say that King Solomon had a ring with the inscription "Everything passes." When a situation arose in his life in which he could not control himself at all and even these wise words seemed stupid and ridiculous to him, he tore the ring off his hand ... but then he saw an inscription engraved from the inside: “This too will pass ...”
Everything passes sooner or later. Everything has a beginning and everything has an end. Such is life - for the dawn to come, in the evening the sun must set. Therefore, remember that the night is not eternal. And it's darkest just before dawn. Sooner or later, the situation will improve. What to do when everything is bad is to know that it will pass!
And even if you are, as if in the Arctic Circle, where the sun does not rise most of the time, you can always gradually, even in small steps, but move to the equator. Where is the sun, palm trees, bananas and coconuts. Well, heaven in general!
6. Take action. Do at least something!
Try different ways. As Edison said, “I didn’t have a thousand failures. I just know a thousand ways that don't work!" If one thing doesn't work, do another. The main thing - do not stop, but do it, even when everything is bad! As soon as you give up, it becomes difficult for you to hold on to emotional fear, feelings. But when you do something - firstly, you have a feeling of movement, which already gives strength. And secondly, no matter how trite it may seem, action brings more results than inaction. It's that simple!
Not "for what", but "why". Remember the point about transformation? Life is a school where we all learn something. Try to understand what kind of lesson the current reality holds for you.
It is useful to know the reasons, but it is even more important to understand what it is given to you for. How useful is this situation for you? After all, if you learned the lesson wrong, sooner or later it will be repeated. A retake is always tougher than the main exam.
Therefore, act, look for solutions, but at the same time decide for yourself - what exactly do you need to start doing in a new way? What do you need to change? What needs to be learned?
Very often, as soon as you find the right answer, the situation resolves itself. Sometimes you intuitively understand what needs to be done, and the problem goes away only with your action. Whatever it is, nothing just happens. Everything has a specific purpose. And she, too, again, is not always visible immediately. Perhaps you are getting rid of some complexes. Perhaps learn to work harder and lie on the couch less. Maybe your situation is aimed at you reconsidering your life views and understanding what exactly you want. Or maybe to revise your circle of friends ... By the way, about the circle of friends ...
8. Pay attention to the people around you.
They say that sometimes you need to simulate the wreck of the ship so that the rats escape from it.
I am not telling you to complain about life, you should never do it.
But there will always be people, usually relatives, close friends and so on, who will somehow know about your situation. If you really have an edge, there will definitely be people who will support you from falling or even pull you out of the abyss. But there will be those who pass by indifferently.
And, in some cases (you can’t cancel this), comrades may appear, literally pushing you down. Or persuading break. The phrase “a friend in need is a friend” is by no means an empty phrase. Just watch what happens around you when your life is at the foot of a mountain, not at its top. Sometimes it turns out that even close friends leave you in trouble. And sometimes the friendship grows even stronger. What option do you have? Pay attention to this, especially when things are bad.
9. Rehearse your success
Once upon a time, when the author himself was in a similar situation, in a telephone conversation with a friend’s question “How are you?”, I answered: “Yes, everything is great! ". No, it wasn't sarcasm, it was sincere words that things are going on, that I am not standing still. The friend remained silent in bewilderment and smiled: “But it’s hard for you now, as far as I know?”
To which he received the answer: "I'm rehearsing how after a while I will say this to everyone." At that moment, it made us both smile, and very soon life really became much more fun, despite the fact that everything was bad and I thought what to do.
A successful performance is always preceded by rehearsals. So rejoice in everything - that things are going well, that something is starting to work out, that the sun has finally risen. Think about how you will feel when you finally break through, and try to bring that feeling into your current reality. Who knows, maybe it's already a dress rehearsal?
10. Believe in the Miracle
Just believe. Just in case.
These ten points I would call key. They will tell you what to do when everything is bad and help you choose the right path. Be that as it may, it is much easier to survive difficulties with them.
From time to time, each person has a situation when there is disappointment in the world around him and a reassessment of values. When everything that was important disappears and life goes downhill. When everything is bad in life and there is no light. In such a period, everything that supported the whole world disappears, and with it some people who were dear.
There is such a kind of individual Armageddon that puts pressure on consciousness, as a result of which heartache, loneliness, financial and health problems, and then separation of oneself from the world.
Everything is bad in life. What to do?
At such moments, it seems that there is absolutely nothing holy and bright, simple and joyful left in life, everything is covered with clouds and it seems that there is no way out (even though you were once a cheerful and optimistic person). And you understand that no one cares about you, and no one cares what is hidden behind your duty smile. And the people around seem soulless, who only consume and consume, giving nothing in return.
And you always owe something to everyone, because all you hear around is “a woman must”, “peace in the family depends on a woman”, “a woman is to blame if a man cheats on her or even beats her”, “a woman must warm and feed everyone ", and all in the same vein. From everywhere you can only hear that a woman is a flower, a ray of light that decorates and warms the world, and she should be filled with love and happiness.
But how to be this flower, how to be this light, when everything around seems empty and meaningless? How to constantly be in a state of happiness, if there is pain and longing in the soul? When everything is always bad and there seems to be no way out. When many times they betrayed and did not appreciate, when they rejected and did not love. When everything is bad and rolls pain and despair. And in a fit of such despair, the woman says: "No one loves me, no one needs me, no one cares about me, I'm alone."
What to do when everything is bad
The most important thing is to understand that everything in your life depends on you. And just at such moments you can realize that everything is really in your hands. And that if something unpleasant is happening in your life now, then on a subconscious level you yourself wanted everything to be like that. The reason may be different, for example, so that you grow spiritually, so that you realize some truths, so that you transform into a different you, happier and more successful.
In a word, so that your whole life changes, and you make a certain leap into another, better reality. You just have to want to do it. And understand that everything you see is just your idea of the world. And you use only your imagination to see the world and feel yourself in it. And even people you yourself first draw in your imagination, and only then they materialize in your real world. But often you simply do not inform your brain about what exactly these people should represent in your world, how they should treat you, and why you need them at all.
Because at the level of consciousness you cannot understand this, since this level is only 3%, and the remaining 97% is our subconscious, which rules the ball called “my life”. And when you stop being offended, suffering and complaining and instead of asking the question “Why” you start asking the question “Why” - everything will change in your life. Not “Why did HE do this to me?” But “Why did I make him do this to me?”. Not WHY these events happen in my life, but WHY they happen in it.
There can be several settings for one situation, when you ask yourself “why”, they will begin to come out, and understanding will come to you. Your subconscious will give you signals and point to the key point from which the negative changes began. You will definitely get an answer to the question “why”, this can happen both within 1-2 minutes, and within a few hours. And then relief will come and a change in the situation for the better.
And so in all spheres of life - do not look for the guilty, look for the reason. your personal reason. And then you will understand a lot. And consider any of your problems or failures, any of your failures, any unpleasant situation not as a bandwagon from the world or bad people who supposedly wish you harm, but as an occasion to reconsider your outlook on life and change your behavior.
If this article was useful for you, and you want to tell your friends about it, click on the buttons. Thank you very much! And by perception. For some, the problem that has arisen passes quickly and by, but someone takes it to the soul and worries. Everything begins to fall out of hand, constant screams and breakdowns in the address of loved ones and dear people. As a result, relationships become bad, and sometimes even in general. And then it begins to seem that everything is set up only against you. This is even more annoying, there is aggressiveness and uncertainty. And while some are ruining themselves, others live quietly and enjoy life.
Even if you have a tragic event in the family, problems with work, personal life is not built, etc., you should not always reproach yourself for something. This is a life that brings not only good moments. Learn to rejoice in what is now, and not once was or will be. Everything in life comes and goes. All negativity will eventually pass.
The main thing is not to sit still, but go forward, overcoming all the difficulties in your path. Do what interests you and makes you happy. Take a break and make other people feel good, but in no case do not take it out on them. Life is too short, sometimes there is not even enough time to correct your mistakes.
If on soul bad, then give someone joy. Go outside and let little child candy. You will see how much sincere happiness from one small sweetness. It will become much easier for you. If you like shopping, then go and buy yourself new thing. If you can't live without Japanese food, then treat yourself to a trip to a restaurant. Problems and hardships will sooner or later go away or be forgotten. Look for pleasant moments in every day and minute. Just live for yourself, for the sake of your loved ones. Difficulties make people stronger, more experienced and wiser. If you offended someone, then ask for forgiveness. Fix minor bugs that you can fix now. Don't put it off until later, because it may no longer exist.
And finally, lie down on the sofa, turn on good and favorite music, analyze your life. Understand what's bothering you and fix it. Remove the weight from your soul. If this is not done, then you can regret the rest of your life. And give people joy and happiness. And everything will come back to you.
Learn to enjoy the little things.
Sources:
- bad at heart
Sometimes problems and troubles pour in, as if from a cornucopia. It seems that life's difficulties will never end. It is not surprising that only sad thoughts come to mind, faith in oneself disappears. To get out of the "black streak", you first need to regain good spirits and a positive attitude.
It happens that wherever you look, everything is bad. Hands drop, I don’t want to do anything, my heart is sad and, as luck would have it, friends don’t call, blockage at work, and on TV it’s a nightmare.
Are there any reasons why a person can despair, give up and fall into depression? If you find yourself in this situation, then you urgently need psychological help. And first of all, you must accept it from yourself.
And I will help you do it. How to cope with depression and regain the joy of life. What to do when everything is bad? I hope that the following ingenuous advice from a psychologist will help you overcome problems and change your life for the better!
1. Don't hold back your emotions:
What to do when the soul is bad? When did you most recently experience a deep emotional upheaval? Give vent to feelings. Everyone does it in their own way. Someone is crying on the shoulder of a close friend, and someone is planning a grand party to distract themselves. Do what you want (of course, within the law), and you will see that it will become easier.
2. Take the problem apart:
Try to think about it objectively and dispassionately. Identify the cause and think of possible solutions to the problem, which can be done now. When everything is bad, you want to withdraw into yourself and grieve, but this is not a way out of the situation. To stay in this state for quite a long time means to register two new tenants in your house: depression and hopelessness. Strong people act while the weak sit and feel sorry for themselves. Be strong, call me and make an appointment with a psychologist and then you will receive true psychological help and support.
3. Despite the fact that the current situation brings nothing but grief, as it seems to YOUR PSYCHOLOGIST for the first time, still think about what she taught you. It is problems that temper character, make a person more experienced and wiser. Think about what your problem has taught you, what experience you have learned from it.