If you have already decided that it’s time to add something to your life, but don’t yet know where to start, you can choose a few ideas from those proposed by my LJ friend, these are wonderful 25 ways to change your life for the better and become happy.
We often see people whose lives are riddled with suffering and full of pessimism. They complain about fate, family, work, society and the state. They don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and believe that someone else is to blame for their plight. Even I, a person who is far from having the most cheerful disposition, next to them seems to be an example of an energetic jokester. So sometimes when they ask me what they need to do to change things, I think for a moment and give them some advice.
Without claiming great achievements in the field of personal growth, in today’s post I collected all such things that I have ever heard, applied or advised. All of them are tested for own experience, and I will be glad if this is useful to someone.
1. Find out what you really like. This is both the most important and the most difficult. There will be a separate big conversation about this, but the golden rule is: do what gives you true pleasure, and then you will become much happier. With the development of the Internet, everything has become even simpler - the results of your efforts are very easy to convey to the public, and they will definitely appreciate them. Moreover, having a job that really lights you up is a key factor in attracting the opposite sex. But you must be prepared for the fact that finding your way is a marathon that can last many (tens?) years. (more details)
2. Stop the junk you eat, drink and smoke every day. No secrets or tricky diets - just natural food, fruits, vegetables, water. You don’t have to become a vegetarian and give up drinking completely—all you need to do is limit sugar, flour, coffee, alcohol and all plastic food as much as possible.
3.Learn foreign languages. This will incredibly expand the depth of perception of the world and open up unprecedented prospects for learning, development and career growth. There are 60 million Russian-speaking Internet users. There are a billion English speakers. The center of progress is now on the other side of the border, including the language border. Knowledge of English is no longer just a whim of intellectuals, but a vital necessity.
4. Read books. An approximate circle is your professional field, history, natural science, personal growth, sociology, psychology, biographies, qualitative fiction. If you don’t have time to read because you’re driving, listen to audiobooks. Golden rule- read/listen to at least one book a week. That's 50 books a year that will change your life.
5. Make the most of every weekend. Go to a museum, an exhibition, play sports, go out of town, skydive, visit relatives, go to a good movie. Expand your zone of contact with the world. When you've already traveled around everything, take your friends with you and tell them what you know. The main thing is don’t sit still. The more impressions you let through yourself, the more interesting life will be, and the better you will understand things and phenomena.
6. Start keeping a blog or a regular diary. It doesn't matter what it's about. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have eloquence and you will have no more than 10 readers. The main thing is that on its pages you can think and reason. And if you just write regularly about what you love, readers will definitely come.
7. Set goals. Record them on paper, in Word or blog. The main thing is that they are clear, understandable and measurable. If you set a goal, you can either achieve it or not. If you don’t put it in, then there are no options for achieving it at all.
8. Learn to touch-type on the keyboard - not being able to do this in the 21st century is the same as not being able to write with a pen in the 20th. Time is one of the few treasures you have, and you should be able to type almost as quickly as you can think. And you should think not about where the desired letter is, but about what you are writing.
9. Ride the clock. Learn to manage your affairs so that they work almost without your participation. For starters, read Allen (Getting Things Done) or Gleb Arkhangelsky. Make decisions quickly, act immediately, don’t put it off “for later.” Either do everything or delegate it to someone else. Try to never let the ball stay on your side. Write down on a piece of paper all the “long-term” things that have not yet been done and are interfering with your life. Rethink whether you need them (keeping in mind point 1). Do what's left for a few days and you'll feel incredibly light.
10. Give up computer games, aimless sitting in social networks and stupid surfing on the Internet. Minimize communication on social networks (even to the point of optimization - leave only one account). Destroy in the apartment TV antenna. So as not to feel the urge to constantly check email, install an agent that will notify you about incoming messages (including mobile messages).
12. Learn to get up early. The paradox is that in the early hours you always get more done than in the evening. If on a summer weekend you leave Moscow at 7 am, then by 10 you will already be in Yaroslavl. If you leave at 10, you will be there by lunchtime at best. The same goes for weekend shopping. 7 hours of sleep is enough for a person, subject to quality physical activity and normal nutrition.
13. Try to surround yourself with decent, honest, open, smart and successful people. We are our environment from which we learn everything we know. Spend more time with people you respect and can learn from (especially your bosses). Accordingly, try to minimize communication with people who are negative, sad, pessimistic and angry. To grow taller, you must strive upward, and having people around you to whom you want to grow will in itself be a great incentive.
14. Use every moment of time and every person to learn something new. If life brings you together with a professional in any field, try to understand what is the essence of his work, what are his motivations and goals. Learn to ask the right questions - even a taxi driver can become an invaluable source of information.
15. Start traveling. It doesn’t matter that there is no money for Argentina and New Zealand - the quality of the holiday has nothing to do with the money spent, and my best trips were to regions that are not at all distinguished by pathos and high cost. When you see how diverse the world is, you will stop focusing on small space around you, and you will become more tolerant, calmer and wiser.
16. Buy a camera (or a simple one) and try to capture the beauty of the world. When you succeed, you will remember your travels not only by vague impressions, but also by beautiful photos that you brought with you. As an alternative, try drawing, singing, dancing, sculpting, designing. That is, do something that will make you look at the world with different eyes.
17. Play sports. You don’t have to go to a fitness club where jocks, pick-up artists, Balzac ladies and freaks hang out. Yoga, rock climbing, cycling, horizontal bar, parallel bars, football, running, plyometrics, swimming, functional training - best friends a person who wants to restore body tone and get a surge of endorphins. And forget about the elevator - if you have to walk less than 10 floors, use your legs. In just 3 months of methodical work on yourself, you can change your body almost beyond recognition.
18. Do unusual things. Go somewhere you've never been, go to work a different way, figure out a problem you know nothing about. Get out of your “comfort zone”, expand your knowledge and horizons. Rearrange the furniture at home (and do this about once a year), change your appearance, hairstyle, image.
19. Invest. Ideally, you should invest part of your income every month, because a rich person is not the one who earns a lot, but the one who invests a lot. Try to invest in assets, minimize liabilities and control expenses. If you set yourself a financial goal and put your personal money in order, you will be surprised at how easily you will move towards achieving it (more details)
20. Get rid of junk. Throw away any items you haven't worn or used in a while. last year (next year you won’t get to them either). Keep only what you really like and need. It's a shame to throw it away - give it away. When buying a new item, get rid of the old similar one so that the balance is maintained. Less stuff means less dust and headaches.
21. Give more than you take. Share knowledge, experience and ideas. A person who not only takes, but also shares, is incredibly attractive. Surely you can do something that others really want to learn. At one time, coaching became a discovery for me - I began to give trainings and lectures on a voluntary and free basis, which ultimately grew into a very big story that brings me great satisfaction.
22. Accept the world as it is. Give up value judgments, accept all phenomena as initially neutral. And even better - as unequivocally positive.
23. Forget about what happened in the past. It has nothing to do with your future. Take with you from there only experience, knowledge, good relationships and positive impressions.
24. Don't be afraid. There are no insurmountable obstacles, and all doubts live only in your head. You don't have to be a warrior, you just need to see the goal, avoid obstacles and know that you will achieve it without a single chance of failure.
25. The last one is the first one. Do what you like. Learn. Teach. Develop yourself. Change yourself from within.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. But even if you systematically do at least some of this, then in a year, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you won’t recognize yourself. And the world will simply have no choice but to follow your example and change in response.
Hello, dear Friends! People often ask me: “Anya, you are engaged in self-development, you are constantly doing something... Where should I start changing my life?” Of course, I often answer this question differently, based on the individual qualities of the interlocutor. There are many approaches. In this article you will find a list of the main 16 points. What point you start from is essentially not so important.
Your Intention to Act is important! Don't think, don't plan, but ACT!
Brief background
Is there a chance for a greenhouse rose to grow in the wild without breaking? Most likely, the delicate plant will have to acquire good thorns and learn to survive in conditions of a minimum of water and heat, otherwise it faces death. Well, if a flower, in addition to everything else, begins to scold itself for the “wrong” color of the petals, the aroma is not wonderful enough, or the stems are too thin, nothing good will come of it at all.
Do you get the gist of the analogy? A person without an inner core (or self-confidence) is the same rose that real life you will have to fight for your existence by growing sharp teeth. Only the strongest can win, who is not afraid to take risks, to show their true selves, who is ready to take responsibility for their life and goals.
Complexes and internal indecisiveness give rise to fear, making a person vulnerable. This is why you need to develop self-confidence. And below we will tell you how to do it correctly and where to start changing your life!
How to develop self-confidence or where to start changing your life: 16 useful tips
1. Working on external manifestations of insecurity
Changing the image
Take a careful look at your image in the mirror and think about what you have long wanted to change, but didn’t dare? Are you satisfied with your hairstyle and clothing style? A correctly chosen image will not only emphasize the advantages of the figure, but will work wonders for self-perception.
Don't try to change your style yourself. This is not very effective! Seek help from stylists or friends with good taste.
Learning to speak beautifully
What distinguishes self-confident people from notorious losers? Manner of speech.
Hard? Sign up for a public speaking course.
Keep your posture straight
When a person slouches, he sends signals to the body on a non-verbal level. environment who speak not in his favor.
Keep your back straight, you will be surprised how much this will affect your well-being and mood!
2. Changing behavioral habits
Turn on activity mode
Instead of sitting within 4 walls and eating low self-esteem with a bucket of ice cream, isn’t it better to work on yourself?
Sports, travel, acquiring new skills and creative dedication give a wonderful reason for pride, filling life with meaning.
Making new acquaintances
The wider our social circle, the more influence and power we have; we can get timely support for our ideas and capabilities.
It is important to learn to make contacts, build a positive conversation and not be afraid to open up when meeting people.
You will find some tips on how to make new acquaintances in our article
We are engaged in self-education
A good strategy for strengthening your inner self is constant development. Strength is not only in the muscles, but also in practical application knowledge that can be gleaned from books, scientific journals or advanced training courses.
Mastering public speaking skills
A good workout for developing self-confidence is speaking in front of a large number of people - at meetings, lectures, presentations, etc.
Don’t be afraid to take the floor first, ask clarifying questions, or act as a representative of your team.
Helping the weak
A wonderful way to increase self-esteem is kindness and mutual assistance. Don't be afraid to lend a helping hand to those who are weaker.
Generosity of soul is real strength! By helping those in need, we feel that we are worth something in this life, which means we are not living in vain.
3. Mastering the basics of goal setting
We define goals and life principles
If a person has no principles, it is easy to take advantage of him; after all, he himself does not know by what criteria to evaluate himself. Decide why you came into this world? What do you live for, what kind of people do you want to see next to you?
Focus on solutions
Instead of whining about how bad everything is around and how many problems have piled up, it is better to refocus your energy on solving the problem. Not “life is bad” or “I’m lazy,” but “how to make life more interesting” and “where to get the energy to fight.”
We approach dreams realistically
You can set yourself an unattainable ideal and immediately give up, losing all desire to fight. Or you can draw real goals and slowly implement your plans, each time congratulating yourself on a new victory. The second option has a positive effect on your self-esteem.
Learn to praise yourself
You shouldn’t wait for recognition of your merits from the outside; your biggest critic is yourself. It's time to learn not only to scold yourself for laziness and failures, but also to praise yourself for your achievements. Celebrate your next victory with a trip to a restaurant or a vacation, you deserve it.
4. Set the right internal mood
Rediscovering ourselves
To defeat internal complexes and strengthen weaknesses, you need to get to know yourself! Start keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Analyze everything that happens to you during the day, look for the roots of fears in the distant past. This will help you understand how to change behavior in better side, become more confident and take a fresh look at life events.
Cultivating our personality
Limiting beliefs, stereotyped thinking, living according to social stereotypes - all this only strengthens low self-esteem. Stop following the herd, it’s time to discover the real you, learn to think for yourself and act without regard to the opinion of the majority. There is no point in trying to please everyone, you are unique!
Mastering meditative practices
What is good about meditation? It helps you relax and find a state of harmony. The noise of the city blocks out the true desires of the soul, the bustle around us prevents us from getting to know ourselves, figuring out where we are going and what we want. Meditation helps you gain inner knowledge and confidence in your path.
Working with thinking
By changing the way we think, we can change our lives. It is very important to remember to learn to look at positive points of your actions, to find the bright side in negative things. After all, what we focus on is what we get!
Don’t be afraid to change the rules of the game, grow and discover the world anew - this will help you become more confident in yourself by rewriting the book of your life in a new way.
That's all! All the best to you!
For every person, changing one’s own nature is not an easy task, but it is the transformation of oneself that can bring enormous benefits and benefits.
In today's article, I want to move a little away from business topics. I hope that you understand that often it is not tools, knowledge and technical issues that bring you closer to the result.
Below you will find tips on how to change yourself and become a better person.
1. In order to change, you must have a strong desire to get closer to your ideal.
Don't expect the Universe to do everything for you, and one day your life will change on its own.Find the benefits that self-improvement will bring you, this will help you strengthen your aspirations. Consciously choose a better life for yourself and go towards it.
Stop clinging to past hurts, failures and despair. Wish to become happy, understand the need to overcome your own weaknesses and fears.
2. You cannot change your own character by considering yourself ideal.
Only when you sincerely admit your own imperfections and wish to change will this become possible. Inner desire for better life will allow you to give up bad thoughts, sadness and negativity.
How to change yourself - get rid of harmful thoughts, sadness and negativity. You should radiate positive energy and joy of life.
3. A person’s inner world cannot change overnight.
When working on yourself, there must be stability in achieving results. You must constantly reject the negative ones. Always remember that you want to achieve great results.
When your thoughts are running in a negative direction and you feel like giving up, immediately shake yourself up and pull yourself together to get on the right path.
Watch Video: 5 Secrets of Productivity
If, when asked whether a person is happy, he says yes without hesitation, it means that the way he lives, what he does, the people around him, etc., suits him completely and every day brings him a lot of happiness. positive emotions, which provide a charge of strength for new achievements. Those who were less fortunate, or rather, who lacked something in order to fulfill their desires - perseverance, patience or courage, will most likely think twice before claiming their happiness, because their plans were not realized. Phrases like “it’s impossible to change”, “I don’t have enough character to achieve more” are absolute nonsense, because according to psychologists, it’s quite possible to change yourself, and thanks to such changes, you can change your life.
Each of us wants to change ourselves in some way: get rid of shyness or irritability, become more purposeful or cheerful... Changes do not happen instantly. Transformation is a road that we must walk step by step. What awaits us on the path of change?
1. Insight
In general, you are satisfied with everything about the way you live - everything is convenient and seems to be safe. But something is happening. Bright or completely invisible, it violates usual way of life your life, and you suddenly feel an unpleasant stirring of dissatisfaction in your soul. Reality seems to be pushing you: think about it, is this the kind of person you wanted to live?
Awareness of thirst changes in one's character comes suddenly. Something happens that tears off the blinders of everyday life, forcing us to rise above the everyday routine and ask the question: “Who am I and how do I live? Am I happy with this? Do I always want to live like this?” Various internal and external events, intense or not very intense, positively or negatively colored, can push you to such a conversation with yourself. Illness, dismissal from work, good book, betrayal of a spouse or a chance meeting with a friend.
But in fact, this fateful event that provokes insight is only a trigger that opens the floodgates of consciousness to thoughts that previously remained outside of it. Most likely, you have been thinking about this for a long time, but did not fully realize your own dissatisfaction - it was too convenient to live according to habit, without changing anything.
You suppressed irritation, did not notice the decrease in self-esteem, compared yourself with someone who had achieved more... And then a meeting with a fellow student who touched something inside, causing both delight and indignation at a way of thinking and lifestyle different from yours... These moments lead to acute awareness of the need to change internally - in order to become yourself. Getting carried away with ideas, making plans and realizing our desires often paradoxically takes us away from ourselves. We get used to imperfections, restrictions and almost no longer feel tightness and spasms. That’s why it’s so important at the moment of insight not to ignore your own feelings, but to listen and try to understand yourself. Why, for example, has it ceased to be interesting in the company of friends or no longer wants to perform feats of labor.
2. Uncertainty
This stage is a test of the strength of our thirst for change. He either confirms your desire to become different, or nullifies noble impulses. How valuable are new ideas to you personally? What is this - a manifestation of your nature or a stupid attempt to put on someone else's dress? A period of doubt will help separate the wheat from the chaff...
“It would be great, but...”, “How will my loved ones perceive this?”, “Will I find more than I lose?”, “Will I be happier than I am now?” - these questions overcome us as soon as we decide change your life. Any change means taking risks. After all, you are moving away from your usual state towards uncertainty. It's always scary not to be able to predict the future with 100% certainty.
However, the stage of doubt is necessary. Uncertainty does not deprive us of freedom of choice - it only creates the conditions for our choice to be conscious. This stage makes it possible to avoid mistakes inherent in rash actions. It allows us to assess the importance of what we are going to do and the risks we are willing to take in the name of change.
However, if we doubt for too long, it kills our desire to change our character. We “cool down,” lose the energy needed for action, and return to the starting position. Perhaps your expectations from change are excessive, and the bar is too high? Ask yourself honestly what you expect from change, do you realize that working on yourself will require a lot of effort and time and, perhaps, the ability to rise after defeat and start again? And if, after frank answers to these questions, the goal does not become less desirable, limit the time of hesitation and make up your mind.
3. Resistance
After the period of doubt comes a stage of resistance to change. He is characterized by the thoughts “I won’t succeed,” “I’m not capable of such actions.” Is this a reason to abandon the plan?
Inside each of us lives a kind of saboteur who does not want to change his life and blocks all our efforts. Sigmund Freud was the first to discover this universal property of the psyche and call it “resistance.” The function of resistance is to counteract the awareness of desires, feelings or ideas that can destroy the established self-image and lead to changes in life or relationships dear to us. Despite the fact that this is the terminology of psychoanalysis, we constantly observe manifestations of resistance in everyday life - remember how often we tend not to recognize obvious things!
An instrument of resistance is a formed system of attitudes, unique filters through which we look at our lives. In everyday situations, they can greatly help us, automating routine decision-making, saving enormous amounts of time and energy. The uniqueness of these attitudes determines our character and shapes our individuality. “The best is the enemy of the good”, “I am always right”, “I must” - you need to know these attitudes and take them for granted. This will allow you to make an “adjustment” for them in the situation of making an important decision. At first, this will not always be successful, and even then only in hindsight. For example, you realize that the reason for yesterday’s quarrel with your husband is that the eternal “I know better” worked. You should not try to forcefully “turn off” your filter starting tomorrow. This will only create an “overfilter” designed to control the previous one, and will only complicate your system of attitudes and slow down the movement towards change. Just know your settings. Being aware of them, you will be able to make a choice, use your usual way of thinking or try to look at the state of things in a way that is unusual for you.
4. Implementation of the plan
Internal transformation is a long path of specific small steps-actions aimed at realizing your plans. Having gone through three stages of change, you have come to perceived need transformation. What happens next? How do you feel about yourself? Do you consider yourself by and large good person? A positive, healthy self-attitude will help you move towards your goal effectively and at a good pace, while self-blame, which may have pushed you to work on yourself, will be a serious obstacle. Therefore, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and friendly attitude to yourself are very important in order for the process of changing your character to begin.
Violent activity and a sharp transition to a different behavior are not always signs of internal changes. Radical actions are more likely to indicate a superficial belief that everything will happen instantly and easily, while personal transformation involves deep, lasting changes that manifest themselves in the most ordinary, everyday actions. These are moments of reflection, spoken words of gratitude to my wife, an attentive conversation with my teenage daughter. Every day, every minute everyday life doing ordinary things with a goal orientation is a recipe for profound change.
Treat yourself kindly. Notice your small achievements and praise yourself for them. This will help you stay motivated, patient and determined. Your brain does not immediately accept new behavior patterns - this is normal. Take your time and don't get upset. Maintain a positive attitude and tolerance towards yourself. Perfectionism and haste will be extremely harmful now. Give yourself time change internally, and for those around you to realize and accept the changes taking place in you. And one day you will hear the cherished “you have changed so much!”, spoken with gratitude and admiration.