The wedding night is as it should be. What should newlyweds do on their wedding night? What to do on your wedding night

The first wedding night in Rus' was arranged in a special way and had many differences from similar traditions of other nations. Among the peoples of Africa, Europe and India, the right of the first night implied intimate contact between the bride and a stranger. Often it was the elder of the tribe, a noble gentleman, or even just the first person they met.

In Rus', the right to deflower a girl traditionally belonged to her future husband. According to church canons, a married marriage is sacred and any attempt on someone else’s marriage bed is a great sin. Later, feudal lords often neglected this law and used the right of the first wedding night, but the church did not welcome this.

Time spending

The wedding ceremony in Rus' was a very complex sacrament that combined Christian and pagan traditions. The timing of the wedding was always chosen very carefully. In many peoples of the world, the first intercourse of newlyweds could occur on the third or fourth day, or even later (some Muslim countries, India, etc.).

For Russians, the first wedding night took place during the wedding celebration, so it was very important to schedule the wedding on the date permitted by the church. According to Orthodox laws, it is forbidden to have sexual relations during Lent and during church holidays, therefore, weddings were not scheduled for this time. The date of the celebration was carefully selected, in accordance with the church calendar.

Ritual of preparation for the wedding night

For a long time, the Russian people called their wedding night a basement. This is due to the fact that the newlyweds’ bed was always arranged in a cool place: in the basement of a hut, closet, barn or bathhouse. This always happened on the territory of the groom, since the girl after the wedding went to live with him.

For the newlyweds they prepared a high bed on a strong wooden base. It was covered with bedding that was taken from the girl's dowry. The preparation of the bed for the bride and groom was carried out by female matchmakers. The groom's mother or sister could also prepare the bed.

Many ritual objects were placed on the bed, which were supposed to protect the newlyweds from damage and provide them with a comfortable existence in the future. Such amulets included small sheaves of rye, bags of flour, mattresses, and feather beds. The bed was covered on top with a snow-white embroidered blanket.

Several logs, a frying pan, a poker, and a juniper branch were placed under the bed. These items were supposed to protect the couple from all evil spirits. The logs symbolized future offspring, so more of them had to be placed.

Seeing off the newlyweds

The newlyweds were escorted to the “bedchamber” prepared in this way by a whole crowd of guests: boyfriends, matchmakers, relatives and in general anyone who wanted to take part in the noisy and fun action. The farewell was accompanied by songs, obscene jokes and advice. The friend hit the box with a whip, driving out evil spirits. He then had to pay a ransom to the bedwomen.

Alone

After all these rituals, the newlyweds were finally left alone. The door was locked, and a cage guard was left near it. He also had to protect the newlyweds from evil spells and various evil spirits. But guests often stayed at the door and simply spied on the young people.

Left alone, the bride and groom first treated themselves to bread and chicken. This food was supposed to give the couple fertility. After eating, the girl was obliged to take off the guy’s boots. Thus, she demonstrated humility before her future husband and showed her readiness to obey him in everything. Also, the girl had to ask her husband for permission to lie with him.

Then sexual intercourse must take place. A friend came to inquire about this several times. As soon as the girl lost her virginity, the marriage was considered physically confirmed, which was loudly announced to all guests. The newlyweds could be taken out to the feast again and delighted with songs of the most obscene content, or the guests themselves came to the basement of the newlyweds and stayed there with them until dawn.

Innocence as the main attribute

The most important moment in this whole ritual was the demonstration of the bride's shirt with blood stains. If the bride retained her virginity before the wedding, she was considered honest. Otherwise, she brought shame not only on herself, but also on her parents. A collar was hung around the neck of the matchmaker and the parents of the dishonest newlywed. They brought my father a glass of wine with a holey bottom. The girl could even be returned to her father's house.

The loss of virginity on the first wedding night was symbolically celebrated by hanging towels embroidered with red threads and beating pots. After this, the girl became “young”, and the guy became “young”. After the wedding night, the young woman was dressed in the clothes of a married woman and given an appropriate headdress. The entire ritual had to be strictly observed, otherwise the new family would be threatened with infertility and poverty.

Nowadays, for most newlyweds, the first wedding night is just a tradition or a formality. This is due to the fact that for not everyone this is really the first night of love. Modern couples often do not expect legal marriage and live for some time as lovers or in a civil marriage.

But this does not mean that the first wedding night should be ordinary and no different from all previous ones. After concluding the union and blessing your parents, you can arrange an extraordinary night that will mark the beginning of a new stage in your relationship and your family.

I came across some interesting statistics about how newlyweds actually spend their wedding night, the results are amazing:

  • 10% - after finally managing to retire, imagine, they begin to sort things out. Most often this happens due to indecent behavior of one of the spouses at the wedding.
  • 15% immediately start calculating their family capital. They make plans for the near future.
  • 65% are sleeping. As soon as they touch the pillow, having managed to say a few words to each other, they plunge into the long-awaited sleep.
  • 2-3% - do strange things for a wedding night: search all over the city for their missing soul mate, communicate in the kitchen with distant relatives, have fun at a club.

But the remaining 7-8% are passionate about what they should do on their wedding night.

The tradition was accompanied by various rituals, without which the wedding night itself would have no meaning.

Our Slavic ancestors had premarital relationships. There was such a thing as a “trial marriage,” and only after the first child was born did the young people get married and celebrate their wedding. Of course, despite this, the tradition of the first wedding night was relevant.

The spouses were locked in a separate room where they could be alone, but relatives always listened at the door, looked through the keyhole, checking whether the newlyweds had fallen asleep? They immediately started banging on the door, shouting parting words.

How to survive until your wedding night

The most important thing for two is to reduce the load from organizational issues at the wedding. Try to distribute all responsibilities mostly among your close relatives.

Let go of all worries and enjoy the moment. And then, after a wonderful wedding day, an equally wonderful wedding night will begin.

Try to get enough sleep before the wedding. Of course, you will be overcome by anxieties and worries, but in order for everything to be at its best, you need to cope with them.

It will be best if you plan everything in advance, including where you will spend your nightly solitude. If you are going to spend them at your parents' house, ask them to spend the night somewhere else. This time they will understand you anyway.

Or consider staying in a nice hotel for the night. Sometimes banquet halls have rooms for young people: a sauna, bedrooms in different styles(eastern, European).

The wedding ceremony lasts the whole day, the newlyweds sign their names, walk in the park, pose for a photographer, then invite all the guests to the banquet, cut the cake together and only then, after escorting the last guest home, are they left alone.

Of course, after such a long day there is unlikely to be much energy left to organize a unique wedding night. Since parents are largely involved in preparing the wedding, you can have time to prepare the night's entourage in advance.

You need to start by deciding where to spend this romantic and unforgettable night. This should not be a place where you will be disturbed by guests, parents or anyone else. There is absolutely no need for someone to be located behind the wall. The next morning will be awkward not only for you, but also for unexpected witnesses.

That's why good option will own apartment, a hotel room designed and pre-decorated for newlyweds, a chartered yacht or country house with amenities. The most important thing is that no one distracts you.

The whole point of decorating a place for the first wedding night is in the details. Prepare various incense, rose petals for the bed, decorate the room with candles, vases that will be filled with flowers presented at the wedding. You can also take care of snacks in advance by stocking the refrigerator with fruits and sweets.

Decorate the bedside table with a white tablecloth, a bottle of champagne, glasses and strawberries. Separately, you need to carefully choose bedding for your bed. It must be new and made from pleasant, preferably natural fabric. Often this is satin or silk.

If you don't have enough time for this, ask your close friends to help. You will be pleasantly surprised at how they handle it.

After preparing the surroundings, you need to think about yourself. What is the best way to appear before your loved one after you take off Wedding Dress? Of course, this should not be something simple and banal.

Accordingly, think in advance which one to wear. It is very important that your future husband I haven't seen it on you before. Give him a pleasant surprise.

Your wedding night outfit should be just as chic as your formal ceremony outfit. The main thing is that it evokes desire and excitement in your husband.

The ideal option would be beautiful snow-white linen. Ideally, you should create the image of an innocent girl, and White color best symbolizes purity. Let it be a lace set of bra and panties.

If you want to make the process of undressing more interesting for your husband, complement the look with stockings and a belt for them. All elements should also be white and look like the bride’s outfit. They will help with this decorative elements(rhinestones, beads, embroidery, ribbons).

You can leave the bride's veil on your head as a decoration. If it was chosen for the ceremony and is very long, buy a miniature version and make the image of the young wife completely complete.

The main thing this night is not to rush to take off all your clothes and quickly go to bed. Extend the pleasure. You can start by taking a bath together with foam and aromatic oils.

Turn on slow music, light candles and relax together, because now your whole life will go exactly like this. Believe me, there is no need to spoil such a romantic moment by counting the money given or looking at gifts. It can wait until morning.

After a joint bath, you can continue the relaxing massage in bed, smoothly moving on to the erotic one. The bride must carefully prepare to look well-groomed. Therefore, do not be afraid to leave the groom alone for a couple of minutes and get your body in order.

Epilate in advance. Use the cream to make your skin pleasant to stroke and touch. But it is better to avoid strong odors and perfumes. Give preference to body sprays that will add a light, fresh scent and make you look like a fresh flower.

Conclusion

As you already understand, only by doing everything with your soul, you can break out of those boring statistics that, unfortunately, haunt all newlyweds. The “let it be” principle will not apply here, because it is in such cases that there is no strength left for the wedding night.

Love, appreciate, understand each other. Let your first wedding night become an event that you will remember throughout your life.

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    Trembling time full of secrets, worries and expectations. How to properly prepare yourself for a magical sacrament?

    The first wedding night in Islam is a special time. A girl who has just left her parents' home meets a man for the first time. She is modest and innocent. That is why the husband should be especially gentle and careful with her. The Prophet said that women are like flowers: they are beautiful, but their petals are delicate and fragile. A man should treat his wife on the first night like a delicate, vulnerable flower. What does Islam say about the sacrament? The first wedding night should begin with prayer. Beautifully dressed, anointed newlyweds, left alone, can treat each other to juice and sweets, and then separately perform two rak'ahs of prayer, asking Allah to fill their lives with happiness, love and abundance. Namaz carrying powerful psychological impact, will help the newlyweds calm down and get into the right frame of mind. The wedding night (Islam does not prohibit intimate relationships at this time, but does not insist on them) should take place in an atmosphere of tenderness. Naturally, if the night falls during a woman’s physiological days, then intimacy should be postponed to another time.

    Patience and delicacy

    A husband should not undress his wife: this can greatly embarrass an innocent girl. It is better to take off your clothes behind a screen, and you can get rid of your underwear in bed, under the covers. The first wedding night in Islam should take place in the dark: this way the newlywed will be less embarrassed and will not be frightened by the sight of a man whom she sees naked for the first time. A man should not rush, he should not act rudely. Tactlessness can lead to the fact that the bride will forever have an aversion to the sacrament of marriage. The first wedding night in Islam is an opportunity for the spouse to show the affection, tenderness and tolerance characteristic of a real man. In order to receive much later, a man must give more on the first night. When the newlyweds go to bed, the husband should lay his hand on his wife’s forehead and ask Allah to bless the marriage and its sacrament, send many children and give the spouses mutual love and understanding. After this, the young can begin mutual caresses and love games. If a man is skillful and delicate, then the girl will gradually begin to relax, she will stop being embarrassed, and will begin to shower her husband with tenderness and affection. There is no need to rush into defloration: a rough act can cause vaginismus in a girl. This disease, which is expressed in painful spasms of the female organs, can permanently ruin intimate side couple's life.

    Advice to relatives

    In some families, it is customary to wait for the end of the wedding night at the door of the newlyweds, in order to be sure that the young woman is a virgin. Such an attitude can cause deep emotional wounds to young people, especially the bride. This cannot be done. Islam prescribes not to peek or spy on others. Waiting at the door and then displaying the sheets is nothing but a violation of the injunctions of the Koran, leading to haram. The first wedding night in Islam should forever remain a sacrament, the details of which are known only to two.

    Although many modern couples enter into intimate relationships and even live together even before the wedding, the wedding night remains an amazing time for them, filled with love and tenderness for each other. How to spend this amazing night so that it is remembered for a long time and gives only positive emotions? Yes good advice portal Svadbaholik.ru.

    Where, when and how to spend the first wedding night?

    When thinking through the details of their first wedding night, newlyweds should answer three questions: important issues regarding its organization:

    1. Where? There are many options for locations where you can spend your first wedding night after the wedding: from home to a hotel room.
    2. When? Yes, even that! Nobody forces you to organize your wedding night immediately after the celebration. You can totally bear it an important event a few days in advance, especially if after the wedding you immediately go on a romantic trip. Let your first night be organized somewhere in paradise, it’s so romantic!
    3. How? This is where it’s time to use all your imagination to the fullest, so that your wedding night doesn’t turn into something banal and unmemorable. What can I do to make her special? Let's discuss further!



    What to do on your wedding night: create the right atmosphere!

    So, if the location of the newlyweds’ first wedding night is more clear. Usually couples choose either their own apartment or rent something: a hotel room, a house at a recreation center, or even a beautiful studio apartment, because... Sometimes newlyweds live with their parents and have no idea how to spend their wedding night at home if their relatives are behind the wall! But you really want to relax and give free rein to your feelings.



    With the question “When should the bride and groom spend their wedding night?” It is worth understanding based on the circumstances. But the question is “How to carry it out?” It’s worth discussing in more detail, because this largely determines how romantic and memorable it will turn out.

    Beautiful textiles and linen

    Everyone knows how the first wedding night goes, so the most important point in preparing for it is the choice of beautiful bed linen and an important part of a woman’s wardrobe - seductive underwear that will impress the groom on the spot. And even though he has seen you in beautiful lingerie before, now there are so many interesting models that among them you will definitely find something new and original. Well, some advice for sophisticated couples: no one has canceled role-playing costumes for the wedding night - husband and wife can realize their old dreams!


    If we are talking about the first wedding night among Muslims, then it is definitely important for the bride to choose beautiful underwear for herself, because the husband will only see his wife without clothes after the wedding, which means she should look especially attractive and sexy to him.


    What to do on your wedding night to pleasantly surprise your chosen one? Prepare a surprise for him/her, for example, a girl can dance a beautiful private dance, and a guy can prepare a bath with candles and petals or give an erotic massage. Then passionatesex on the wedding night you are guaranteed!



    Food and drink

    Usually newlyweds are so nervous at the celebration that they eat little, and when they return home they feel hungry! Therefore, you should definitely prepare food and drinks for the first wedding night. Nobody tells newlyweds to eat. fried potatoes and meat, these can include snacks, fruits and sweet treats. Don’t forget about drinks, low alcohol or soft drinks.



    Decor

    Another important component of the wedding night of the newlyweds is the decoration of the room, because it is impossible to create a romantic atmosphere without all sorts of things: scented candles, rose petals, balloons in the form of red hearts, etc.

    Think in advance who will be able to decorate the room: your relatives or hired specialists who know how to decorate the newlyweds’ bedroom so that the couple in love will find themselves in their own piece of paradise.