They say it's impossible to please everyone. After all, each of us has our own mentality, a certain sense of humor, peculiarities of our worldview and our own moral principles. But there is one secret: a person attracts to himself when, in communication with him, the other person likes himself. Such communication goes like clockwork, since no one has to strain and reshape themselves.
So, what qualities do you need to attract people to you?
Self Confidence
Imagine that there are two girls in front of you and you have just complimented them. One replied: “Well, what beauty is there, I have overweight”, and the other - “Oh, thank you, dear. I tried." Which girl would you be more comfortable with? Most likely, from the second. The first one doubted your words, and after her, you doubted yourself. Where is the comfort here? He's gone.
Developing your talents
All psychological literature repeats: “Don’t stand still, develop.” And I would also add: without development, a person has a lot of free time, which he wastes. For example, to useless skirmishes, conflicts and grievances. And here’s the secret: the more interests, developed talents, knowledge you have, the better developed you are. neural connections in the brain. So if you want to attract people, find ways to constantly learn something. Sign up for Asian cooking courses, learn how to make kanzashi, dance Irish dances, speak Chinese, and don’t be distracted by various skeptics trying to force you into their framework. Fill your life with what you love.
Only positive
Tell me honestly, do you like to wash the bones of your friends? Don't worry, no one is going to criticize you here. “Washing the bones” in society helps to shed negativity and briefly rise in one’s own eyes. But! This strategy is tantamount to eating chocolate cake: As long as you cut off more and more pieces, you feel good, but then you develop allergies, tooth decay and extra pounds.
Therefore, if you want to please people, if you do not want your negative reviews about them to be transmitted in a chain under the sauce of gossip, give up slander. Get used to saying only good things about others. Stretch your memory and remember what good things you know about this or that person. Maybe he does quick math in his head, breeds rare aquarium fish, and so on. In short, keep your communication positive, and it will pay off in spades.
Bringing People Together
Recently, a good friend of mine, a businesswoman and English teacher, created a group on a social network that brings together creative people. On the main page, she encourages participants to write about themselves, get acquainted, come up with common useful ideas, meet: “Complete each other, make each other better. Know that the need to seek help does not mean that you are a weak person, it means that you are wise, strong man. Learn from each other! Change the world around you!” And the group functions successfully; people meet at exhibitions and other events.
The ability to bring people together is not an innate talent, but a quality that has emerged as a result of extensive, productive experience in communicating with different groups. Ask others more about themselves, their desires, successes, dreams, unite them for good purposes. And in return they will follow you.
Ability to create a cozy atmosphere
When I was in college, for some reason our students gathered in the office of... the secretary. The secretary was a sweet and sociable woman, constantly telling us various interesting stories. In her office there were two aquariums with rare fish, and she let us take care of them; sometimes she gave us something to drink delicious tea with sweets brought from trips. And we helped her manually draw a huge schedule covering the entire wall. And the director, a kind, cheerful woman, feigned a dissatisfied grimace, tried to disperse us: “What is this, smeared with honey?” But this didn’t last long; we came running again like locusts. The secretary, her wisdom and energy attracted us like a magnet.
If you want to attract people to you, create an environment around you where everyone will feel cozy and comfortable.
Support
Not everything in life turns out the way we want it. Sometimes this requires basic knowledge, sometimes patience, and sometimes both. And sometimes a person seems to know how to solve a problem, but cannot move because he has run out of strength. He comes to his loved ones for new resources and support, but often receives only lectures, moralizing and humiliation in response.
The most interesting thing is that even if you offer such a person ready-made solution his problems, this won't help either. Because that’s not what he came to you for. And for reassurance, for support, for the wish “You will succeed!” Therefore, if you want to attract people to you, it is not at all necessary to solve their problems for them. Just support - write or say a couple of encouraging phrases, take your hand, hug, invite you to the cinema, to the beach, to a cafe, to the park.
Remember the interests of others
Once a girl approached me with a request to “refresh the relationship.” During the consultation, it turned out that the relationship with the young man lasted six months and the couple planned to legalize it. But for some reason, lately the young man has been acting “kind of absent-minded and tired,” and his parents are “wary.” We find out that the girl is absolutely not interested in the guy’s hobbies, criticizes them, and for the holiday gives what is customary, or what she herself considers necessary. Plus she has absolutely no idea what her parents are into. young man. How they live, what they do, how they are doing. “His mother is constantly sick” - that’s all I could find out from her.
From this we can conclude: if you want people to love you and be interested in you, build and maintain relationships through attention to them. Namely, be sincerely interested in their hobbies, interests, and dreams. And if you don’t share either one or the other, then at least don’t criticize. It's everyone's personal choice, isn't it?
By the way, knowing the interests of others will give you an additional bonus. This way you will always know what to give them. For example, my colleague managed to melt the heart of an unfriendly boss with the help of... rare violets. She just found out that she loves to grow them. And she gave her the treasured pot.
It's simple. After all, sometimes it takes very little to make a person happy...
Is it possible to attract a person with the power of thought? More often, girls think about this because their sense of pride and self-esteem does not allow them to openly admit their feelings for a man. works, and you can use it not only in personal relationships, you can attract people, things, and events.
How does this happen?
This information is not just fiction. Scientists who conducted research came to the conclusion that thought, although it cannot be seen, is a material substance. With the power of thought you can influence the state of your body and other people. Therefore, it is not for nothing that they say that you need to think positively, and the expectation of trouble attracts them.
Basics
What is necessary for the power of thought to begin to work:
Sequence of actions
The first time, almost no one succeeds in attracting the desired object with the power of thought. This requires long-term training, so if you want to achieve your goal, you will have to commit to serious and long-term work.
- You need to relax, take a comfortable position - lie down or sit in a chair. Close your eyes and imagine the object you want to attract. At the same time, it should be presented in detail - clothes, gestures, facial expressions. The person must be in good location spirit, let it smile at you. Visualize how an energetic connection arises between you, send him your positive impulses, observing how responses come from him to you.
- Observe what the person is doing now, how he is distracted from his activities, remembering you, picks up the phone and dials your number. It may seem impossible, but this technique works very often.
Compiling affirmations
Combining visualization with verbal expression of desire strengthens your energy flow and speeds up its movement. Many girls are trying to find spells that will help them find their other half or attract a person who is already in their life.
What is a conspiracy? This is the same energy message, an appeal to the Universe. Whether or not to turn to magic is up to each person to decide for himself. Some of the proposed texts may also carry negativity, attempts to enslave the will of another person, which is fraught with destruction.
Therefore, it is safer and more effective to create your own affirmation - filled with kindness, tenderness and love. If you want a person you know to call you, then you express this desire, specifying the time at which the call should sound.
At the same time, experts in the field of esotericism talk about how important it is to let go of your desire and not think about the person, not wait for this call. That is, first you concentrate as much as possible on your desire, invest all your energy into it. positive energy and release you to work in the Universe. Constantly holding a thought in your head prevents it from “unattaching” from you.
Don't expect results to come the first time. And don’t forget about the difference in energy - if your partner is stronger and more stable emotionally, then it may be difficult to “break through” to him. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. To attract a person with a thought, you must be calm, confident and act systematically. Don't give up on training, continue to develop these abilities in yourself. And you will see that everything is possible.
Elizaveta, Izhevsk
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There are people who radiate such inexplicable magnetism that absolutely everyone around them is drawn to them, wants to be like them, to earn their friendship or at least approval. And the most curious thing is that this does not depend at all on the appearance of these attractive people.
website I found 9 rules that you need to follow to become such a person. And yes, charismatic people are not born, they are made.
Individual image
Do you need unique image. Not even that - you need a unique detail in the image. After all, your own original external image is something by which even people you don’t know can remember you. And we are not talking about beauty at all. Paradoxically, uniqueness can even be expressed in ugliness or vulnerability. Any of your distinct “tricks,” be it gait, gestures, facial expressions, intonation, communication style, or a detail in your wardrobe, will make you memorable.
Here are some examples of details famous people or what they are associated with:
- Charlie Chaplin - mustache, suit, cane
- Tilda Swinton - asexuality, no makeup
- Winston Churchill - plumpness, cigar
- Joseph Stalin - mustache, pipe, accent
- Adolf Hitler - specially shaped mustache, intonation
- Dita Von Teese - 40s look, red lipstick
- Marilyn Monroe - hair color, mole
- Salvador Dali - mustache, facial expressions
You must have a big dream
In order for people to strive for you and appreciate you as a truly special person, you must certainly have some kind of meaning of existence. Ambitions, goals, the desire to change something in this world. Fight for something. After all, a person without a dream is like a book without an idea. Why read this?
Be confident in yourself
To be charismatic, you must first be confident. Make decisions boldly, be able to rely only on yourself, not wait for outside help, and communicate your ideas to other people in an accessible manner.
Confidence is felt not only in behavior, but also in speech. Avoid expressions such as “I think, I hope, I believe, I expect, maybe, probably.”
Forget about complaints
Think about it: could you admire and try to be like a person who constantly complains? Of course not. Charismatic people have a positive attitude. Avoid criticism, complaints and negative topics. Even if everything in life is not going smoothly, start a conversation with something that brings you pleasure and will bring it to your listeners.
Use sign language
You should show your confidence by your behavior: do not slouch, do not fiddle with any objects or parts of your body in a fit of neurosis, try to smile more often, look straight into the eyes and avoid closed poses.
And in general, when you appear in society, feel like a star on the red carpet.
Become a great storyteller
Many are sure that the ability to tell an interesting story is a talent.
But this is not always the case. In most cases, this is a skill that can be learned. Just speak confidently, use humor, especially self-irony - the ability to laugh at yourself is aerobatics. Use body language, be emotional and positive. Don't be discouraged if not every story or joke lands.
Tell your personal stories. Many people, having heard something really interesting, will share it with others.
Don't look away
When talking to a person, always look him in the eye. Sometimes one piercing look can say more than a thousand words: correct eye contact shows that you are listening to the interlocutor, understand and accept him as a person.
Important: when you are talking to someone at an event, do not be distracted by other things, do not glance at your phone or scan the crowd in the hope of seeing a more “right” interlocutor.
Learn to listen to others
You don’t need to consider yourself the most important person in the world and strive to turn the eyes of everyone around you only on your loved one, no. A person can be endeared by his genuine interest in the lives of others, because listening to other people is an art. If you listen carefully to another person, are interested in him, he begins to feel needed and even to some extent special.
Of course, it is impossible to remember everything that the interlocutor said, but remembering his name is a big deal. There is one interesting trick: when a person introduces himself to you, repeat his name: “Oleg, very nice.” And so that, in turn, they immediately remember you, use the same technique of repeating, only this time your name: “Hello, my name is Daria. Uvarova Daria.
Use the mirror effect
The mirror effect, or simply mirroring, is a simple way to win over a person by repeating his facial expressions, intonation or gestures. This always works, since the technique is based on the nature of human narcissism: the interlocutor unconsciously begins to feel that you are on the same wavelength.
The same effect can be used not only in a conversation in order to win over you, but also to adopt the “tricks” of people who seem charismatic to you. For example, famous personalities. See how they present themselves, it can help you feel more confident. Detailed analysis You can find such examples on the video channel
How to attract the people you need? 10 psychological techniques.1. Response to kindness, or the Benjamin Franklin effect
The story goes that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn't love him. This man was looking for rare book, which Franklin just had. Benjamin found out about this and lent him this rare book, and when it returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result of this, they became best friends.
As Franklin said: “He to whom you have once done good is ready to return you with good much greater than yours...”
2. Ask for more than you want
This effect is very simple and akin to trading on the market. The effect works almost always. You are obliged to increase your demands if a person needs you. At first you will most likely receive a refusal. Don't resist, but give it time. In 95% of cases, the person interested in you will respond again and offer a little less than you requested, but at the same time guaranteed higher than what you initially expected.
3. An imposed desire to help
The reception is very similar to the previous one. In order to awaken in a person an independent desire to help you, ask him once for something that he definitely will not agree to. Having received a refusal, you have created for yourself a person who considers himself obligated to you. Most likely, he will turn to you more than once on his own with a desire to help, because inside he will have a feeling of guilt.
3. A person's name is like a magic sound
Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that using someone's name when speaking is an incredibly powerful argument. A person's name is the most pleasant sound for him. By saying his name in a positive context, you grow significantly in his eyes.
4. Flattery is everywhere
She is everywhere and always. To begin with, it is important to understand that flattery must appear natural, otherwise it can do more harm than good.
If you flatter someone who has high self-esteem, then you have more chances of luck. Such people love themselves and love flattery, but they do not notice it. And those who have low self-esteem see any positive assessment as a catch and deception.
5. Mirror
If you want to please a person, copy him. People with such a skill are considered chameleons in society; from the outside it is noticeable how they constantly change and adapt to each individual. However, this skill must be at least slightly developed in order to attract the people you need.
The work of parody actors is based on this principle. All the celebrities who have been parodied on TV are often good friends these actors.
6. Ask for mercy from the tired
When someone is tired, they are more receptive to all requests. The reason for this is that a tired person becomes tired not only physically, but also mentally. If the boss is tired, then it is easy for him to allow you to finish it tomorrow, but you must finish it without fail and with high quality. This will give you a little respect in the eyes of your boss. After all, you kept your word.
7. Start asking for small things
It's simple, ask a little at the beginning, and they will give you credit. According to this principle, people become dependent on social movements. For example, at first you are asked to support an action against deforestation, you support it, then again and again. It’s a small thing, but you are already ready to give more. Are you ready to support an action against deforestation in distant Tanzania or join the Green Party and make contributions.
8. Don't correct people when they're wrong.
Carnegie also wrote in his famous book that you should not poke your nose at a person’s obvious mistake immediately after you have found it. If you want to change a person’s point of view, then approach this carefully. Even if in front of you is a loser who blames anyone but himself for his troubles, you should not shout in your face. Agree with him on at the moment and gradually try to change his point of view. Otherwise, you risk becoming enemy number one.
9. Repeat phrases and expressions of the right people
This principle is akin to the “chameleon” principle, when a person, with facial expressions and gestures, repeats the person with whom he is interested in communicating. Words can be soothing to the ear if they sound like an echo. It is necessary to pronounce what a person has already said, what he heard inside his head.
10. Nod of the head
Scientists have found that when people nod while listening to someone, they are more likely to agree with them. They also discovered that when someone nods in front of them, the person parrots them back. Thus, the nod stimulates the listener's agreement. Everything is based on our favorite principle of imitation... 
2. Act as if you are already happy and you will actually become happier.
3. Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain.
4. If you want to find happiness, stop thinking about gratitude and ingratitude and indulge in the inner joy that self-giving brings.
5. Remember that your interlocutor may be completely wrong. But he doesn't think so. Don't judge him.
6. Know how to take the position of another person and understand what HE needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.
7. If a person tries to use you for his own purposes, cross him out from among your acquaintances.
8. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.
9. Never try to settle scores with your enemies, because by doing so you will do yourself much more harm than them.
10. Act like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people who are unpleasant to you. 
Many people have noticed more than once how some individuals attract others to themselves, like a magnet. Such charming people are not always the most beautiful and intelligent among those around them, but something still makes people gravitate towards them. You too can become such a person if you wish. Let's find out how to attract people to you, attract them, arouse interest in you.
How to become an attractive person: step by step
- The first thing people notice when they see you is your appearance. If you want to attract people, you need to look good. Being healthy in appearance, following the rules of hygiene, wearing clean clothes is not enough for this, although it is also very important. An attractive person often has a bright personality, which is also expressed in his appearance. Find your own style that emphasizes your uniqueness, create a harmonious external image that will make you stand out from the crowd.
- Of course, good looks alone are not enough. What attracts people? Correct communication with them. Almost all people are preoccupied with their problems and think about themselves. We like people who are interested in us. Therefore, a charming person in a conversation is more often aimed at his interlocutor, talks about him, is interested in his life, listens to him attentively, and maintains the conversation. He talks less about himself, and he understands what and to whom he should tell and what not. Many of these people seem mysterious to others, which makes them even more attractive.
- Humor and joy are powerful tools for winning people over. Humor brings people together. However, humor is a very subtle thing: if used ineptly, your humor can put you in an unfavorable light, but a successful and well-aimed joke based on the situation will help win over unfamiliar people. It is important to develop a sense of “good humor” and learn to understand when and how to joke. In any case, you should smile at people, laugh at their good jokes - thereby you express sympathy for the person, on a subconscious level you show that you trust him and are friendly. You should be careful if you want to make fun of someone.
- An attractive person has a number of qualities that make him such. He is calm and confident, has adequate self-esteem, and recognizes his individuality. You will never see as an attractive person someone who fusses, is constantly nervous, does everything possible to gain the approval of others, etc. By recognizing his individuality, an attractive person gives others the right to it, even if he himself does not like something. An attractive person is pleasant to talk to and is interesting to communicate with. Such a person treats others with respect, regardless of their social status and age, is polite to everyone and is generally friendly.
- What kind of person attracts others? The one with whom you feel good, who improves your mood, inspires and makes you understand how wonderful you really are! If you learn to be like this, then consider that the main trump card of attractiveness is in your pocket. However, there is one important amendment: you should not try to pretend to be someone, people will feel false, and this will push them away. It's important to be sincere. Learn to give people beautiful compliments, and do it every day (don’t overdo it), and not just on holidays and special occasions. Let's people good advice, if you are asked to do so, and help them if required. Learn to inspire! For example, a friend has to take an important exam, and he is very afraid. Encourage him, instill in him the idea that everything will work out for him, because he is so smart and prepared so well. And raise a person’s self-esteem and calm him down, and win him over.
- To be an attractive person, it is important to determine the golden mean for yourself. Very often extremes are destructive. For example, you need to help people, but not let them get on your neck; be quite firm and confident, but not callous and self-confident, etc.
- Many people are interested in whether it is possible to attract a person to you with the power of thought. This has not been scientifically proven, but many people practice similar things, and if you believe their words, some manage to achieve this. In any case, this issue is complex and requires detailed consideration. If you wish, you can turn to the works of authors who offer something similar (esotericism).