You liked the guy and you want to find signs mutual sympathy . Why look for signs of mutual sympathy? To gain self-confidence. Or to start a relationship. What's the difference? Sometimes you just need to see it desperately, so that later you don’t seem stupid to yourself in your actions.
When do you need to see signs of mutual sympathy?
Yes, at the very beginning of the relationship, so as not to create illusions that he likes you if he communicates with you only out of politeness.
What are these signs?
Well, firstly, you speak the same language with him. That is, you perfectly understand what he means by his words and phrases. And in the same way, he understands the true meaning of your statements. If there is an ease of speech, you do not choose words to convey something - this is it! In addition, you will have a similar tone of voice, approximately the same speed of speech, use similar words in conversation. The second sign of mutual sympathy can be tracked by deliberately changing the position or making some kind of gesture. If there is sympathy, your partner will most likely do the same: change the position (to the same as yours), may also make a similar gesture. For example, you can sit on the very edge of a chair, moving closer to the center of the table. A man (if, of course, there is mutual sympathy!) will also move closer after a while. You can experiment: cross your legs, move the menu aside, put keys or gloves, etc. Look carefully at the man: if there is mutual sympathy, he will unconsciously copy some of your actions. Another sign of mutual sympathy is the man's full attention to you and the topic of your conversation. Full immersion in it, without distractions to external stimuli.
What are his words about mutual sympathy?
Of course, the words best indicate mutual attraction: “It’s so easy for me to communicate with you”, “I’ve never been so interested in anyone”, “We seem to have known each other for a hundred years”, “You are so interesting”, “ Time flies with you imperceptibly” and others with the same meaning. Although if you talk more, and he just looks at you with fascination all the time of the conversation, then this should still be considered as mutual sympathy.
So, signs of mutual sympathy:
He talks with you with pleasure, sits leaning in your direction, repeats some of your gestures, looks at you with interest, his tone of voice and speed of speech are close to yours, he uses the same words as you, voices that it’s easy for him, it is easy and pleasant to communicate with you - all these are signs of mutual sympathy.
Lack of mutual interest:
Of course, if you see that a man looks bored, he is constantly distracted by some actions, does not listen to you, speaks very little himself, listens to you half-heartedly, sits half-turned away from you, then you can conclude that there is a lack of mutual sympathy.
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At the time when a woman and a man awakens sympathy for each other, and their relationship enters into a series of romantic dates and meetings, the degree of passion for each other begins to quickly gain momentum. At this stage, feelings literally overflow, thoughts soar in “pink” clouds, people see life without each other as impossible, and they are in a state called “falling in love”.
The first stage of development of relations
This stage lasts an average of 3-6 months, sometimes a little less or longer. This is the easiest time to get married. A man and a woman are languishing from mutual love and are ready to go to all real and unreal deeds and feats to “reunite” with their soulmate. At this point, it is necessary to follow the saying "strike while the iron is hot."
Almost all young people who later entered into a marriage union were firmly established in the decision to create an official unit of society already at the dawn of the development of their relationship. And this is quite understandable and understandable. After all, the choice of a future spouse is similar to the choice of an evening dress - you can see whether it suits you right away or not. You do not need to fiddle with a ruler in front of your dressing table all evening, nervously determining whether the outfit sits well on you or dangles, as if on a hanger. Everything becomes clear to you when you just try it on.
In my life, I have met couples who dated for about ten years, then entered into a formal relationship, and divorced six months later. It does not take a very long time to fully get to know a person and enter into a marriage alliance with him. And certainly, one should not stretch the stage of “preliminary” acquaintance for several years! For example, my husband and I got married after five months of our acquaintance, and now we are coming to the end of the twelfth year of our happy marriage.
Second level
If you didn’t get married during the first period of meeting a man, your romantic relationship will certainly move into the second stage of its development. This stage is characterized by great calmness regarding the feelings between partners and the stability of their relationship. As a rule, on average, the stage of "stable equilibrium" lasts from six months to one and a half years, but I remember cases when it lasted 2 years and even longer.
The second level of development of your acquaintance is a good moment for concluding an official family union. The stage of passionate mutual love is in the past, but your relationship with a man is gaining momentum and deepening. A marriage created in this also has every chance of success.
Level three
If you do not marry the second level of acquaintance, then your relationship will sooner or later move into the third part of its evolution and begin to slowly fade away.
At the initial stage, this is not noticeable. At times, reflections of mutual passion may still flare up between you, but such moments will become more and more rare. Differences in the contradictory traits of your characters will become more noticeable, internal stress and dissatisfaction with each other will begin to grow, which will eventually lead to the predominance of feelings of fatigue and disappointment in your relationship, replacing all the romantic that in the first period of acquaintance served to grow your affection. As a rule, in this situation, the relationship in a couple begins to gradually fade, losing viability.
At this level of acquaintance, the conclusion of a family union will not lead to anything good. Since the partners at this stage decide to marry, either in order to stop the salvation of the destruction of their relationship, or because of a sense of obligation to each other.
The optimal time for marriage is the period when future spouses experience mutual feelings of pleasure from this prospect, when none of the partners compromises for the sake of resolving the baggage of problems and the couple, with painful longing in their eyes, does not wander down the aisle, tired of the burden of mutual internal obligations. A woman and a man who have done everything on time will have a greater desire to jointly solve emerging difficulties, which only contributes to the growth of their mutual affection and the strengthening of relations.
Sympathy Authentic involvement of the therapist in the relationship with the client. The client participates "on an equal footing" with the therapist, and the therapist does not "hide", in particular, behind his status.
Brief explanatory psychological and psychiatric dictionary. Ed. igisheva. 2008 .
Sympathy
(from the Greek sympatheia - attraction, internal disposition) - a stable approving emotional (see) of a person to other people and phenomena, manifested in friendliness, benevolence, admiration, encouraging communication, rendering attention, help, etc. Usually occurs on basis of common views, values, interests, moral ideals. It may also arise as a result of a selective positive reaction to an attractive appearance, character traits of another person (see). In its dynamics, S. can reach tension, turning into a passion or strong attachment, or it can end in cooling, disappointment, turn into antipathy and hostility. IN interpersonal relationships S. is one of the factors for integrating people and maintaining psychological comfort.
Brief psychological dictionary. - Rostov-on-Don: PHOENIX. L.A. Karpenko, A.V. Petrovsky, M. G. Yaroshevsky. 1998 .
Sympathy
A stable, approving emotional attitude of a person towards other people, their groups or social phenomena, manifested in friendliness, benevolence, admiration, encouraging communication, attention, assistance, etc.
Usually arises on the basis of common views, values, interests, moral ideals. Sometimes - as a result of a selective positive reaction to an attractive appearance, behavior, character traits of another person ( cm.). In its dynamics, sympathy can reach tension, turning into a passion or strong attachment, or it can end in cooling, disappointment, even turning into antipathy and hostility.
In interpersonal relationships, sympathy is one of the factors for integrating people and maintaining psychological comfort.
Dictionary practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998 .
Synonyms:Antonyms:
See what "sympathy" is in other dictionaries:
SYMPATHY- (Greek, from syn together, and pathein to feel). Sympathy; unconscious attraction to someone or something, the unconscious attraction of one person to another; the natural harmony of two or more things. Dictionary of foreign words included in ... ... Dictionary of foreign words of the Russian language
sympathy- Cm … Synonym dictionary
SYMPATHY- (sympathy is outdated, medical), sympathy, wives. (Greek sympatheia compassion). 1. A change in something that occurs under the direct influence of changes occurring in another, symmetrically or closely located (med.). 2. Attraction, empathy, ... ... Dictionary Ushakov
Sympathy- Sympathy ♦ Sympathie Feeling sympathy means feeling the same as another person, or feeling with him. The Greek word "sympathy" means "sympathy". However, in modern language The two words are by no means synonyms. Philosophical Dictionary of Sponville
SYMPATHY- (from the Greek sympatheia attraction) compassion; the same mood, perception, sympathy; the ability to take to heart the joys and sorrows of another, the ability to feel the same; see Empathy. Cosmic sympathy is internal, ... ... Philosophical Encyclopedia Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary
SYMPATHY- (from Greek sympatheia sympathy) eng. sympathy; German Sympathie. Internal disposition, stable emotionally colored approving attitude of a person towards other people, groups; one of the factors of integration of people and maintenance of psychol. comfort.… … Encyclopedia of Sociology
Greetings, my dear readers! Every day we communicate with a large number of people, meet new ones, we immediately like someone and we want to continue communication, but we can’t establish contact with someone, no matter how hard we try. Today I want to talk with you about what sympathy for a person is, why it arises between people and what it can eventually develop into.
Do you want to learn how to please everyone unconditionally? Make a good first impression? When meeting, show yourself with better side? Then you can't do without Patty Wood's book " How to arouse sympathy».
Sympathy is...
“Sympathy is an elusive current that suddenly arises between people and attracts them to each other”
Natalia Solntseva
How do you know that a person likes you? You want to spend more time with a person, communicate on various topics, just walk together, call and find out how things are going. . Something invisible and elusive. When a wordless understanding and attraction arises between people. In my opinion, this is sympathy.
Some people think that opposites attract. Thus, we can conclude that we sympathize with those people in whom there are qualities that we ourselves do not have, but we would like to possess them.
There is also an opposite opinion that sympathy arises between similar people. And the more similar two people have, the more they will like each other.
Most often, sympathy is a personal feeling. But there is also imposed. When you praise a person. Or an authoritative opinion for you inclines to seek and notice only positive points in another person.
Sympathy occurs only between the opposite sex? Undoubtedly, when a young man sees an attractive young lady, he involuntarily begins to feel sympathy for her. And the girl, having met a pleasant man, then she begins to give him signs of attention in every possible way.
But there is also friendship. How to find a friend among such a huge number of people around? This is where affection comes in. When you come to work and one of the girls seems pleasant and interesting to you, you begin to communicate and, over time, closer ones are tied up.
The feeling of sympathy allows us to find suitable people, those with whom we want to connect our lives. Those who will understand us, who will be there, who can teach something new. This feeling helps us form our social circle. Agree that you will not communicate with a person who is unpleasant to you?
Since there is a concept of sympathy, it means that there is also an opposite feeling. Antipathy is a feeling of disgust, hostility towards a person. Sometimes it's hard to explain. Have you ever had such a thing that upon meeting you immediately realized that you never want to meet this person again?
And here we have two poles. Sometimes antipathy is explained by the fact that we see in a person the undesirable qualities that we ourselves have. That is why it is so unpleasant for us to look at him, because we see reflections of ourselves.
And the second moment, we see those qualities that we lack and this causes jealousy, envy, anger. Therefore, it is better to exclude such a person from life so that he does not an eyesore, as they say.
The basis of sympathy
What are the signs that a person will like us? By what criteria can we immediately determine that this one will suit us and we will communicate with him, but that person is not suitable at all and it is better to stay away from him?
The first is similarity. Say what you like, but we are always pleased with those people who are somewhat similar to us. A person tends to experience pleasant and positive emotions even to the person with whom he shares the same day or month of birth.
Man is a social being. All of us, one way or another, are looking for approval, confirmation that others also think like we do. That is why it is so nice to be in a society with people who share your views and interests.
In the 70s of the last century, psychologists conducted a sympathy test based on similarity. A salesperson in a music store needed to sell one instrument. And when he told the buyer that he listens to the same music or loves the same genre, the percentage of sales increased significantly. Today, this technique is widely used in sales and in general.
There is even a special term in sign language - mirroring. If you want to achieve an arrangement from him and, as a result, an affirmative answer to your proposal, then you just need to take the same pose as he does.
The second is closeness. You can call it physical. We are most pleased with those people who are in close proximity to us. Of course, without violating.
Agree, it is much easier to start a relationship or friendship with a person who is next to you than with someone who.
In addition, proximity provides similarities in attitudes, hobbies, belonging to a particular social group.
The third point is reciprocity. We are more likely to experience pleasant emotions for those people who give something in return. With those who only take and use, a person tries not to maintain close relationships.
We are pleased to feel sympathy in return. Therefore, we are more likely to be friends with the person who takes the initiative to us, provides and responds.
For example, you told to a stranger a lot of personal information about himself, but he did not tell anything about himself in response. In this situation, he will seem detached, unpleasant, closed, unsympathetic to you, and you will not want to repeat meetings with him.
The fourth factor is appearance. I think the majority will agree with me that the external plays a very large percentage in communication, especially when meeting. We are drawn to the beautiful, we want to surround ourselves not only with beautiful things, but also with beautiful people.
Of course, appearance is not the main thing, the filling of a person is important, but you must admit that when two people approach you, you are more likely to pay attention to someone who is well-groomed, beautifully dressed, tidy, who smells delicious and so on.
Have you ever met a frankly ugly model in a magazine? Or a completely disgusting actress, which you won’t even look at without tears? No. This is because we tend to trust attractive and attractive people more. We consider them more open and friendly. And this important qualities to build trust between people.
And many scammers take advantage of this. So, they always look like a needle. You will never see a ladies man in torn pants and a dirty jacket. After all, he perfectly understands that in order to make the right impression, it is necessary to take good care of his appearance.
What's next
Sympathy between a man and a woman most often develops into a romantic relationship. Although I know many examples when they remained friends. It is difficult to immediately understand what this sympathy will result in. It happens that it is difficult for a person, so they do not move beyond friendly communication.
How do people express their sympathy? They are drawn to each other, they want to communicate, they do, they invite to meetings, they make and show all kinds of signs of attention, they reveal their soul, they share their innermost.
But there is another option. How do boys at school show that they like a girl? That's right, they pull the pigtails, knock the briefcase. And in some adults, you can notice this pattern of behavior. If he treats me so deliberately negatively, it means that he definitely likes me.
Be more open and sociable and this will definitely help you to better connect with others.
All the best to you!
Sympathy is the basis of the desire to communicate and admire other people. The meaning of the word "sympathy" is due to the fact that it comes from the Greek συμπάθεια, which translates as "attraction" or "internal disposition." In fact, sympathy for a person means his attractiveness for us. Mutual sympathy is the basis of successful and pleasant communication.
One of the conditions that allows sympathy to arise is the common space of two people. Thanks to the common space, people can contact and discover in each other what brings them together.
Theoretical aspect
Ilyin divides the causes of occurrence into conscious and unconscious. Among the conscious reasons, similarities (common ideas, values, views, interests) are distinguished. Unconscious reasons include the status of a person, his manners, character traits, appearance.
Sympathy was considered by the Stoics, implying a commonality of objects, here there is a connection with sympathy, which is rather close to. The meanings of the words "sympathy" and "empathy" have been confused for many centuries.
Spontaneously, sympathy often arises as a result of a person's association with nice and affable people from our past. Antipathy awakens towards people who look like enemies from our past.
Likes and dislikes are very relative, they depend on characteristic features people interacting, from the context, from the specifics of communication and the situation in which it arose, as well as time. An experiment conducted in 1985 clearly illustrates this feature of our attitude towards other people.
The relativity of sympathy is easy to observe in the Gtiffitt experiment, when students perceived people more positively when they were in best conditions (cozy room compared to a stuffy and hot room). Those people who appear in an attractive environment (exquisite furniture and soft light compared to dirty and shabby rooms) are also positively perceived.
That is, in this case positive attitude to the situation was transferred to the attitude towards a person, that is, people receive a certain assessment already in our perception. The manifestation of negativity on the part of the experimenter led to the fact that students gave questionnaires to a person who did not look like him.
Practical aspect
So, the conditions under which people communicate affects how they perceive each other. People feel sympathy, being in a pleasant, cozy, refined environment.
In addition, charm is of great importance. It is easy to feel attracted to people who are sincere, open, alive, full of energy. This is a kind of charm, and its key components are: presence, strength and warmth (Kabane). Everyone can become a person, the main thing is to work on the non-verbal information that the individual sends to the world.
Everyone likes a charismatic person, he evokes admiration and the impression from others (not with words, but with his behavior) that he has many opportunities, strengths and he likes the people around him. Next to him it becomes good, so they strive for his company.
Here are some tips that will quickly lead to an increase in charisma: lowering intonation at the end of a sentence, slight nods, two-second pauses between messages. The more fundamental factors are:
- Presence. It is necessary to be completely with the person, any distraction is very noticeable. Focusing on communication greatly increases our attractiveness to others.
- Strength and warmth. A friendly, caring and strong, powerful person is dizzy, you want to attract and keep such a person, because he is extremely useful, and his attention flatters his interlocutors.
The most important thing is sincerity. Attempts to portray something usually run into rejection from other people, because they solve our game. Harmony lies in the correspondence of the internal and external, therefore, first you need to put the internal in order.
signs
The sympathy of a man for a woman must be supported so that it develops into something more. In response, you need to show your own sympathy, no matter whether it manifests itself in approving glances or in a smile, the main thing is that it should not be aggressive.
How to distinguish love from sympathy? The sympathy of a man from love can be separated by the confidence and frequency of steps that a man takes towards a woman, by his care, desire to help, care, by the desire to continue communication. The strong sympathy of a man for a woman is different in that he tries to prove his worth, demonstrates his capabilities.
A sympathizing man responds to every action of a woman with his own and initiates contacts himself, you rarely need to wait for something from him for a long time. If a woman openly showed sympathy, and a man is uninitiated and only occasionally responds to her signs of attention, most likely, he is led by politeness.
You can recognize female signs of sympathy by her concern for the comfort of a person, interest in him, and initiative. So if a woman feels sympathy for a man or a man for a woman, the main indicators of this are interest, initiation of light tactile contact, provocation (mimicry) and high spirits. Author: Ekaterina Volkova