How to distinguish love from sympathy. Stages of relationship development with mutual sympathy

You liked a guy and you want to find him signs mutual sympathy . Why look? signs of mutual sympathy? To gain self-confidence. Or to start a relationship. What's the difference? Sometimes you just need to see it desperately, so that later you don’t seem stupid to yourself in your actions.

When should you see signs of mutual sympathy?

Yes, at the very beginning of the relationship, so as not to create illusions that he likes you if he communicates with you only out of politeness.

What are these signs?

Well, first of all, you and he speak the same language. That is, you understand perfectly well what he means by his words and phrases. And in the same way, he understands the true meaning of your statements. If there is ease of speech, you are not choosing words to convey something - this is exactly it! In addition, you will have a similar tone of voice, approximately the same speed of speech, and will use similar words in conversation. The second sign of mutual sympathy can be tracked by deliberately changing your posture or making some kind of gesture. If there is sympathy, your partner will most likely do the same: change his position (to the same as yours), and may also make a similar gesture. For example, you can sit on the very edge of the chair, moving closer to the center of the table. The man (if, of course, there is mutual sympathy!) will also move closer after some time. You can experiment: cross your legs, move the menu to the side, put your keys or gloves, etc. Look carefully at a man: if there is mutual sympathy, he will unconsciously copy some of your actions. Another sign of mutual sympathy is the man’s full attention to you and the topic of your conversation. Complete immersion in it, without distractions from external stimuli.

What words do he say about mutual sympathy?

Of course, the words that best indicate mutual attraction are: “It’s so easy for me to communicate with you,” “I’ve never been so interested in anyone,” “It’s like we’ve known each other for a hundred years,” “You’re so interesting,” “ Time flies with you” and others with the same meaning. Although if you do most of the talking, and he simply looks at you in fascination throughout the conversation, then this should still be considered as mutual sympathy.

So, signs of mutual sympathy:

He talks to you with pleasure, sits leaning towards you, repeats some of your gestures, looks at you with interest, his tone of voice and speed of speech are close to yours, he uses the same words as you, voices what is easy for him, it’s easy and pleasant to communicate with you - all these are signs of mutual sympathy.

Lack of mutual interest:

Of course, if you see that a man looks bored, he is constantly distracted by some actions, does not listen to you, speaks very little himself, listens to you with half an ear, sits half turned away from you, then you can conclude that there is no mutual sympathy.

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Quite often it happens that a person cannot explain his own feelings towards a member of the opposite sex. He is at a loss as to what feelings he is experiencing. This happens for the reason that modern people It is quite difficult to distinguish love from sympathy. But, in fact, it is not that difficult.

What are the differences between love and sympathy?

It's no secret that there is a fairly clear line between love and sympathy. Moreover, this line is not arbitrary, like, for example, the borders between the countries of the European Union, but clear and definite. If we continue the analogy with geography, then love and sympathy are separated by the same border as, for example, Poland and Russia.

But, despite the existence of such a clear line, which almost everyone knows about, many people quite often confuse love and sympathy. And this despite the huge number of differences between these feelings.

1. Absolutely everyone wants to be happy with a person to whom he is not indifferent. Moreover, many people see the meaning of their entire lives in building happiness in partnership with other people. That's why they take their choice of a person so seriously with whom they can live a long and happy life.

A person experiencing a feeling of sympathy wants to be happy next to the person for whom he feels this. He wants his soulmate to be nearby and make him happy.

Well, a truly loving person wants to be close to the object of his love and do everything to make him happy. Anyone who experiences a deep feeling of love first of all cares about the happiness of the person for whom he has such strong feelings. That is, a person in love first wants to make another person happy. And only after he manages to do this, he moves on to building his own happy life.

2. When you feel sympathy for a person, you do not notice his shortcomings, which may lie on the surface. You don’t notice them only because you only notice the merits and advantages of the person to whom you show such feelings. A person who feels sympathy overly idealizes the object of his adoration. He exalts all sorts of positive little things and turns a blind eye to the serious shortcomings of a person.

Guys and girls who are truly in love do not turn a blind eye to the various shortcomings of their other halves. Such people know that their lovers have shortcomings, but they do not frighten them at all. These shortcomings can be absolutely anything, including those related to a person’s appearance. However, if a person really loves, then this does not play any role for him.

3. If a person feels sympathy for a partner, then he is ready to spend hours discussing all his advantages and advantages with other people. Moreover, such a person can spend hours telling the object of his sympathy about all his positive qualities, beauty, sense of humor and character. That is, if you are not truly in love with a person, then you have to constantly talk about your attitude towards him.

In turn, love does not require that a person spends time telling stories about all the positive qualities of the object of his love. A person who loves knows that he respects and values ​​his other half.

4. Strong sympathy makes people worry that the person they have feelings for may disappear from their lives. It's hard for people in love to imagine their life without their other half. Therefore, they do everything to keep a person, even if he wants to leave.

Unlike simple falling in love and sympathy, true love does not make a person worry about it. She doesn’t paint pictures in her head about what will happen if her second lover leaves. Love doesn’t have time for this, because it forces people to make plans for the future with their loved ones, and not to assume what will happen if their other halves leave them.

5. People who feel sympathy are not ready to push their friends into the background because of the person they like. They can devote a considerable amount of time to the object of their sympathy, but they will definitely never forget about their friends. If a person chooses a fun evening in the company of friends rather than a romantic date, then he is not in love, but feels a feeling of sympathy.

People who are truly in love are ready to push into the background even old friends with whom they have maintained relationships for many years. This does not mean that those people who fall in love completely forget about their friends. But if they have to choose between a romantic dinner with their loved one and get-togethers with friends, then people who are truly in love will probably choose dinner.

6. People in love are ready to introduce their other halves to their parents. This does not mean that after dating the relationship will move closer to marriage, but it can demonstrate the seriousness of the person’s intentions.

People who feel sympathy, not love, do not even think about introducing their other half to their parents. For them, this is a completely unimportant point that does not deserve special attention.

7. When it comes to meetings with the object of sympathy or love, it is difficult to distinguish between these two feelings. The fact is that both feelings of sympathy and love provoke a great desire to constantly see your soulmate. This entails constant calls and messages asking for a meeting. But if people who feel sympathy are ready to just see a person, then truly people in love want to start living together with a person. This is what distinguishes love and sympathy in terms of the desire for constant meetings.

8. Loving people They view each other not just as a beautiful couple, but as a potential family. Such couples can look in the mirror and see not only two people, but also a third. We are talking about the future child of a loving couple.

The same people who only feel sympathy for each other consider their couple as young man and a girl, but nothing more. When looking in the mirror, these couples think about how good they look together.

9. Sympathy, unlike love, cannot guarantee understanding between partners. Moreover, even love cannot always guarantee a couple complete mutual understanding. You need to work hard to achieve mutual understanding, because the quality of the relationship between lovers largely depends on it.

How to distinguish love from sympathy?

When a person begins to have feelings for a guy or girl, he wants to understand exactly what feelings fell on him. Having understood what exactly he is experiencing, it will be easier for a person to make further decisions. Therefore, many experts advise people to first decide on their feelings, and only then move on to specific actions.

1. To distinguish ordinary sympathy from such a high feeling as love, you need to test your feelings with time, which can put everything in its place. Usually sympathy is a fleeting feeling. That is, after a while a person begins to lose interest in the object of his adoration. And the more time passes, the faster the sympathy disappears. Love only becomes stronger and more convincing over time.

And if you want to test your feelings in order to find out what fate has awarded you, then test it with time. Allow your feelings to open up so that they can show themselves fully. But you must understand that such a check may drag on indefinitely. Therefore, if you do not want to spend a lot of time on this, then take a closer look at other options.

2. To realize whether love or sympathy prevails in your relationship, you need to take a truly sober look at it. If there is self-interest in them, then there can be no talk of any love. After all, if your lover is looking for benefits in your relationship, including financial ones, then this is definitely not love. True love is selfless. Remember this.

3. Liking mainly evaluates appearance partner, not his essence. There are exceptions, but most often sympathy is limited only to physical attraction. Love is characterized by simultaneous attraction to a person as a beautiful representative of the opposite sex and to his personal characteristics. If your feelings are based only on physical attraction, then you may believe that this is not love.

4. If you notice that you have stopped looking at other members of the opposite sex, then this is a clear signal that you have fallen in love. Observe this moment to determine your feelings.

5. Create a hypothetical situation in your head where the person you have feelings for leaves you and goes to another partner. If in this case you continue to have the same feelings for him, then you have love.

What to do in case of a mistaken declaration of love?

There may be several reasons why a person cannot open up to the object of his love and confess his feelings to him. But they are all equally strong, holding back such strong feelings inside.

Most often, a person cannot confess his love because of banal fear. People who experience such strong feelings are afraid to tell the person responsible for these feelings about them. They are paralyzed by the fear that they will be rejected or dissed. However, there is absolutely no need to be afraid of this. If you are confident in your feelings, then you need to push fear aside and boldly admit everything.

However, it is not only fear that can constrain a person’s actions. The fact is that a person can simply doubt his feelings. Many people are not one hundred percent sure that they really love a person. That's why they don't talk about it, so as not to do anything stupid. In this case, you really need to be patient and make sure of the truth of your love, and not immediately lay all your cards on the table.

But there are also people who rush to confess their love to a person, feeling ordinary affection, sympathy or passion. They are not ready to wait, and make a declaration of love for a person for whom they feel only deep sympathy. However, over time, they begin to understand that there can be no talk of any love here.

If you confessed your love to a person for whom you do not have similar feelings, then you need to do something about it before things go too far. First, you need to talk to him and explain everything to him directly. This must be done both in case of reciprocal recognition on his part, and if the person was unable to reciprocate your feelings. In any case, a conversation must take place in which you must honestly admit that you are confused in your feelings and have confused sympathy and love. If you just like a person, then tell him so. There is no need to embellish or exaggerate anything.

You must clearly understand that the hardest thing will be to explain to the person who reciprocated your feelings. Moreover, some people may not have the courage to do this as they may be afraid of offending the person. However, it is imperative to explain things to such a person, because there is nothing worse than a relationship out of pity.

In general, if you have confused love with ordinary sympathy and managed to tell the person about your feelings, then be prepared for the fact that you will have to take back your words.

Can sympathy turn into love?

If you confessed your love to a person, confusing your feelings with sympathy, and the person did not reciprocate your feelings, then you may not rush to refute your words. The fact is that over time, sympathy can really develop into love. There are a huge number of examples of such changes in feelings. So there is a possibility that your crush will become a strong and beautiful love. But if after a long period of time you have not noticed that you are starting to really fall in love with a person, then talk to him about your real feelings. There is no need to deceive a person who has such strong feelings for you. The thing is, it can come back to haunt you.

Pages of love

When a woman and a man develop sympathy for each other, and their relationship begins a series of romantic dates and meetings, the degree of passion for each other begins to quickly gain momentum. At this stage, feelings literally overflow, thoughts soar in “pink” clouds, life without each other seems impossible to people and they are in a state called “falling in love.”

The first stage of relationship development

This stage lasts on average 3 - 6 months, sometimes a little less or longer. This is the easiest time to get married. A man and a woman are pining for mutual love and are ready to do all real and unrealistic deeds and exploits to “reunite” with their other half. At this point, it is necessary to follow the saying “strike while the iron is hot.”

Almost all young people who subsequently entered into a marriage were confirmed in the decision to create an official unit of society already at the dawn of the development of their relationships. And this is quite understandable and understandable. After all, choosing a future spouse is like choosing an evening dress - you can see right away whether it suits you or not. You don’t need to twirl around with a ruler in your hands in front of the dressing table all evening, nervously determining whether the outfit fits you well or dangles as if on a hanger. Everything becomes clear to you when you just try it on.

In my life, I have met couples who dated for about ten years, entered into an official relationship, and got divorced six months later. It does not take very much time to fully get to know a person and enter into a marriage with him. And certainly, the “preliminary” acquaintance stage should not be stretched out for several years! For example, my husband and I got married after five months of dating, and we are now entering the twelfth year of our happy marriage.

Second level

If you didn’t succeed in getting married during the first period of meeting a man, your romantic relationship will certainly move into the second stage of its development. This stage is characterized by great calm regarding feelings between partners and the stability of their relationships. As a rule, on average, the “stable equilibrium” stage lasts from six months to a year and a half, but I remember cases when it lasted 2 years or even longer.

The second level of development of your acquaintance is a good moment for concluding an official family union. The stage of passionate mutual love is a thing of the past, but your relationship with a man is gaining momentum and deepening. A person born into this marriage also has every chance of success.

Level three

If you do not marry at the second level of acquaintance, then sooner or later your relationship will move into the third part of its evolution and begin to slowly fade away.

At the initial stage this is not noticeable. From time to time, glimpses of mutual passion may still flare up between you, but such moments will become increasingly rare. The differences in the contradictory traits of your characters will become more noticeable, internal tension and dissatisfaction with each other will begin to grow, which will ultimately lead to a feeling of fatigue and disappointment prevailing in your relationship, replacing everything romantic that served to grow your affection in the first period of acquaintance. As a rule, in this situation, the relationship in a couple begins to gradually fade, losing its viability.

At this level of acquaintance, concluding a family union will not lead to anything good. Since partners at this stage decide to marry either in order to stop the destruction of their relationship, or because of feelings of obligation to each other.

The optimal time for marriage is the period when the future spouses experience mutual feelings of pleasure from this prospect, when neither partner compromises to resolve the baggage of problems and the couple does not wander down the aisle with painful melancholy in their eyes, tired of the burden of mutual internal obligations. A woman and a man who have done everything on time will have a greater desire to jointly solve emerging difficulties, which only contributes to the increase in their mutual affection and strengthening of relationships.

The desire to be attractive is inherent in everyone. It first appears in childhood, when the child wants to please close people and friends. After a while, the desire passes into adulthood. Showing sympathy is a sign of approval for a person and helps him assert himself in society.

Sympathy is a good attitude that arises when you like the appearance or internal qualities of another person. For example, sympathy arises if you like a face, figure, eyes or smile. Also, what is attractive about a person is their character or sense of humor. Communication with such a person only brings positive emotions. Spending time with him is always comfortable and trouble-free.

The physical attractiveness of a man or woman is the main factor influencing the occurrence of sympathy. The reason for this is the comparative attitude inherent in many. Appearing in public with a handsome member of the opposite sex, a person receives higher reviews. But if you appear in public with a more beautiful partner, you can expect bad reviews about yourself. Compared to a more beautiful friend or partner, you can simply get lost against their background. It is important to realize that mutual sympathy is based not only on external attractiveness. In order to build relationships, it is necessary to have common interests and views on life.

Sympathy is the basis for the emergence of infatuation and love. In order to be confident, a person needs the approval of others. In order to gain male or female favor, it is important to remain yourself and develop positive qualities in yourself. People always value honesty, openness, listening and support in others.

How to distinguish sympathy from falling in love

The origin of both friendship and love occurs on the basis of sympathy. And it is extremely important not to confuse the feeling of falling in love with friendship, so as not to make mistakes and not destroy the relationships that have arisen between people. Quite often, people cannot determine what feelings connect them. It is difficult to distinguish flirting from falling in love, since the line in a relationship is very blurred and it is not easy to understand the true state of the relationship.

Sympathy can develop into infatuation, then into love, or maybe stop at friendship. Often sympathy develops into friendship, and people, unable to distinguish, confuse their feelings with being in love. And as a result, over time, both people face great disappointment. To avoid such an outcome, it is necessary to set priorities correctly at the very beginning of the relationship. This will help you understand your feelings in the future and avoid making mistakes. This will not be easy to do, since feelings are difficult to define. Sometimes even psychologists are not able to accurately determine what kind of relationship has arisen between two people.

The main thing in this matter is a healthy view of relationships. You need to look inside yourself, as well as the other person, and try to draw conclusions. It is important to understand the reason that brought two people together and its motives. This is simply a desire for communication or spiritual closeness and intimate attraction.

Where is the line?

Falling in love and sympathy are not always interconnected. Very often, having common interests and similar views on life is confused with feelings. When a person lacks communication, he has a greater tendency to confuse feelings.

In order to recognize what feeling a person is experiencing, you need to take a focused look at the relationship. Do they have a feeling of jealousy or a desire to care. Or personal interests prevail. In order to distinguish love from sympathy, it is important to understand what drives actions. The desire to communicate and be close to an object or the desire to master it. It is extremely important to understand what motives drive the relationship. Sometimes people marry on the basis of friendship. Such marriages can be quite strong, but they can collapse in an instant if one of the partners meets true love.

A person wants sympathy to be followed by infatuation, which would develop into love. But relationships do not always develop in the correct sequence. There are often times when a friendship turns into something big. The opposite is also possible, careful attitude between two people prevents mistakes from occurring and helps relationships develop in the right direction.

How to distinguish love from sympathy?

Despite the fact that sympathy is significantly different from love, many people often confuse these concepts. When emotions begin to arise towards a man or woman, a person immediately tries to understand their character. After all, having understood them, it will be much easier to plan your further actions. For this reason, psychologists recommend, first of all, to understand your feelings and only then take any action.

In order to distinguish love from simple attraction, it is necessary to test feelings over time. Only time can put everything in its place. The difference is that sympathy is just a temporary phenomenon. This means that over time, interest in the object begins to disappear. The longer the interval has passed, the less interest becomes. Love, on the contrary, only strengthens over time.

In order to determine whether a relationship is governed by sympathy or love, you need to sensibly assess the situation. In true love, they do not seek benefits; if there is self-interest in the relationship, then there is no need to talk about love. Because real feelings are absolutely selfless.

Most often, sympathy arises on the basis of external data, and not the internal qualities of a man or woman. The opposite is also possible, but in most cases sympathy is excluded only by a certain physical attraction, a desire to flirt. When a person loves, he experiences not only attraction, but also appreciates inner qualities.

When mutual sympathy arises between people, they often realize that they like each other. How does this work? It's very simple - they send each other nonverbal cues about predisposition, interest. Our body speaks for itself. The subconscious mind works and gives the command “face”!

Smile, gentlemen!

Signals of sympathy are recognized quite easily, because the person “opens up” to you, he wants to please you and tries to appear before you in all his glory.

Naturally, the very first expression of passion and goodwill towards you is a smile. Moreover, if the smile is symmetrical and both corners of the lips are in the same parallel line- this means that the person really smiles sincerely.

At the same time, if one of the corners of the lips “goes” down, it’s worth thinking about the fact that the interlocutor may well be disingenuous. And if the object of your sympathy shows his teeth - everything - in a smile, he shows complete trust and calmness while in your company. Laughter is also a sign of openness. After all, we are not embarrassed to laugh openly in a well-known company whose members treat us kindly.

But if the smile looks more like an animal grin, revealing all the teeth of the upper and lower jaw for everyone to see, be careful. Especially with a rounded look - such facial expressions speak of aggression and negativity.

Integrated approach

It is important that when you turn on the “body language analyzer” button in your head, you must remember that when “reading” a person, you must be guided by a complex of movements, gestures, postures and gaze. When one gesture is emphasized by another. When behavior and gestures are harmonious in the context of a specific situation. After all, a single movement can speak of different characteristics behavior readable person. At the same time, if the interlocutor’s words contradict his gestures, you need to trust the gestures!

How girls act

Usually a woman, when communicating with a man she likes, lowers her voice to a sexual hoarseness. She speaks more slowly than usual in a chant. And a girl who is ashamed of her feelings and emotions will most likely chirp and chatter, often getting confused, laughing unnaturally and loudly.

The first thing you should pay attention to is the look. Even before starting a conversation, she will “shoot” her eyes. He will fix his gaze on you, and then, as if nothing had happened, he will switch to something else. If this “trick” happens again, then you can safely go into battle. Especially if she smiles sweetly at the same time.

Does the girl adjust her clothes or hairstyle while talking to you? This a clear sign that she wants to please.

Fun fact: on occasion, a girl asks for her purse or moves it closer to you - such actions indicate that she is ready to trust you.
Women have softer “tricks” than men. She will, of course, demonstrate the beauty of her legs by throwing one on top of the other. She will show off the delicate skin of her wrist, play with her eyes, and straighten her hair. Moreover, throwing hair away from the face with a sharp movement of the head back is a clear sign of sympathy. This is how she demonstrates herself lioness r-r-r-r-r. By the way, it doesn’t matter whether the girl’s hair is short or long. And, of course, the look. Languid and languid, a little sideways, due to fluffy eyelashes. And looking eye to eye in itself already says a lot.

What about the guys?

The man's voice will be soft, velvety, a little poetic. At the same time, he will involuntarily preen himself, straightening his tie or smoothing his hair. Holding your gaze on certain parts of your body longer than decency allows. You can also identify unconditional sympathy if a man came too close to you and seemed to isolate you from the outside world. This behavior indicates possessive traits. He will repeat your gestures, be it nodding his head or positioning his body. When demonstrating himself, a man will raise his chin, throwing his head back a little.

Observe, provided that the guy changes his manner of speaking and facial expressions when you appear - you are definitely in his zone of interest. He will always try to come to the rescue and support, especially if this is his personal initiative and not a reaction to your request.

Attention

If a person brings a third party into your conversation, it may mean that they are not interested in you. Thus, he tries to build an invisible wall between you so as not to meet your gaze. The interlocutor openly yawns, constantly looks away from you with an indifferent gaze, switches to different objects - you are not interesting. Find yourself another conversation partner.

“Reading” such signs is not at all difficult. After all, when we like someone or make a choice ourselves, our sensual heart comes to the rescue. Don’t be afraid to take the first step, who knows, maybe your destiny is facing you now.